Eh, see the image. Did you really intend to have two < hr tags there?
The dark one looks fine, but the plain one makes it look weird.
I know it’s been like that for a long time, but I love website design
and I think it would look much better without the grey bar, and I can’t
not say anything anymore.
I’m finally going to finally do the website for my boss, finally, too.
chicken skin
it is the best
in my opinion
i wait ’til no one is milling around the kitchen and then i go into the whatever container of chicken and take off all the skin and eat the hell out of it and then i put the chicken breasts back in the container with no skin leftover and put it back in the fridge
though if i am feeling generous i will leave tiny skin fragments sometimes
chicken meat is boooooring
if i am eating the skin off of a drumstick i make a special allowance and eat the drumstick ‘cos not eating it is just plain rude
and when i am eating the skin
but only if it is the crunchy fried skin
i think about the three amigos the movie
when they are eating bats over the fire in the desert and they sound all crispy and crunchy
and so when i eat chicken skin i pretend i am eating fried bat wings
and then i think about the He-man movie that came out to rental when i was 4 or something and they are in america somewhere and they get a bucket of chicken and the one girl cannot believe that humans eat chickens, like, animals
she just couldn’t get over it
and because i was 4 years old roughly i put eight and five together in my head and realised hey IT IS POSSIBLE that i have eaten a CHICKEN
fantastic
so the next day at dinner i asked my family if it was true that we eat animals and because we were eating meat at the time they lied to me and said no
so i pressed
and demanded to know immediately where meat came from
was it grown did they make it from stuff how did they make it then why are there so many different kinds of it
it was a very ward moment
so in any case they shut me up and i believed for a little while that meat did not in fact come from animals until grade one or two when we learned about food groups
and then i have to admit
i was really PISSED OFF
and thus concludes my chicken skin manifesto the first
oh and i use to ask for more weeds which meant beans, as in string beans
though at least i said please
i had manners once upon a time
it’s true
fil and i just destroyed a whole bag of microwave popcorn.
we were planning on starving ourselves today to maybe three days but the shit didn’t last.
it was a small bag of popcorn anyhow.
and now we are eating no name processed cheese slices.
i’d like to buy a WHITE TRASH.
thank you.
we just got back from band practise.
the drummer’s son is two-timing these two girls.
drama. gossip.
fantastic.
i thought i was a pretty good singer ’til tonite.
fuckheadsssssss.
i’m going to sign up for a music class and master the art of the triangle and then i am going to take over the world.
fil is worried we are not going to be attractive enough for this dumb sex show interview.
and now i am worried too so we are going to iron our denim pants to make creases down the front to distract from any and all potential not-prettyness.
seen!
that’s enough OCD for now.
raymi says:
so u have a karaoke machine at work now? i thought u quit there.
Creamy Ride says:
I did quit
Creamy Ride says:
I have it at home
raymi says:
ahhhhhhhh
raymi says:
ok well i am on my way over right now then
raymi says:
i think i am going to attend those spanish AA meetings in your basement
Creamy Ride says:
Yeah we should go together
raymi says:
how do you say i am fat drunk in spanish
Creamy Ride says:
get everyone talking about Noel
raymi says:
hahahaa
raymi says:
that will make noel feel special
raymi says:
do you think they would let me bring a six pack
Creamy Ride says:
more than he thinks he is already?
raymi says:
ooh yer nasty
Creamy Ride says:
yeah it’s BYOB down there
raymi says:
sweet
raymi says:
can u ask jim if i can be in his band
Creamy Ride says:
which band
raymi says:
doesnt matter
Creamy Ride says:
Creamy Ride says:
we’ll start our own band
Creamy Ride says:
I have enough insturments here
raymi says:
woah thats some oldschool shit-talking
Creamy Ride says:
yeah I came across it the other day
raymi says:
did u find me a place to live yet
raymi says:
not in parkdale though
raymi says:
parkdale makes me s.a.d.
Creamy Ride says:
no I’ve been too busy sleeping all day
raymi says:
you are such an inspiration
Creamy Ride says:
I never wanted to be
raymi says:
fil got burnout 3 thanks to YOU
Creamy Ride says:
good move
raymi says:
can you be my mentor and teach me how to be disciplined and how to properly boss people around in a work environment
Creamy Ride says:
be polite
Creamy Ride says:
be confident
Creamy Ride says:
and in the end know what you’re doing
raymi says:
that sounds hard
Creamy Ride says:
people are only motivated if they like what they are doing
raymi says:
cant i just be funny and annoying and wing it?
Creamy Ride says:
you can but no one will respect you in the end
raymi says:
hmm
Creamy Ride says:
and they won’t speak highly about you to others
raymi says:
well what about being bitchy, wont people fear me and respect that?
raymi says:
well i doubt people speak highly of me right now anyway so why try and change that
Creamy Ride says:
only when you are around they might work, however when you leave they will just hate on you and nothing will get done
raymi says:
yeh
Creamy Ride says:
not saying you have to be everyone’s best friend just be polite and try to be sincere about it
raymi says:
well i am sincere
Creamy Ride says:
you are
raymi says:
and i know how to be polite
raymi says:
sort of
Creamy Ride says:
heh heh
raymi says:
i just need to get my foot in the door, after that it’s hate on city
Creamy Ride says:
I’m not really one for advice
Creamy Ride says:
no one should do what I do
raymi says:
well fine then
raymi says:
i admire your spirit
raymi says:
regardless
Creamy Ride says:
I admire yours
raymi says:
thanks
raymi says:
im like the sister you’re glad you never had
Creamy Ride says:
I admire your passion in whatever it is that you are trying to achieve
raymi says:
ok that’s bullshit because i am not trying to achieve anything
it’s been awhile since i have written about sexy things.
i don’t know if sex is even interesting anymore. to read about. to write about. to even think about. it’s like, yawn unless you can think of funny things to go along with it, you know?
or go deep and look at the whole thing like it’s big and interesting or something.
i guess this is how hookers feel, or ex-hookers, or nymphs.
anyway.
apparently bipolars are horny fuckheads. i guess i could use that as an excuse.
more of a cop-out i think.
drinking coffee makes me horny.
the caffeine and the sugar goes right to my clitoris it’s crazzy.
one beer does it to me as well.
panty removing beverages, pretty much.
though, not like i scream out the window EXCUSE ME PEDESTRIANS, I’M READY TO BE FUCKED NOW JUST LETTING YOU KNOW!
i kinda politely pull down my trousers and go to town on myself and if the mister is there he is like uhhhh huh huhuhuhuh (horny noises) ok let’s do this.
so the lady in the apartment next door can hear everything all the time as i’ve mentioned before and she is always there and it’s always in the back of my mind and well, it doesn’t spoil it really, it’s just this thing that i am aware of and i think well maybe i should shut my mouth up, tone it down perhaps?
but then i’m like, F her!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOW unng ungh and so on etc.
sometimes we think we can hear her, uh, doing things, but then there’ll be some weird random i-don’t-know-what noises coming from there and we pause in the hallway to try and figure them out and it’s like she is doing construction work or something in there on herself and rearranging furniture at the same time and moaning.
weird.
i wouldn’t mind living beside me and listening to all of the dumb things that i say.
it beats having to be me.
i would bump into myself once in awhile and congratulate the next-door-neighbour-me for that one knock knock joke from a week ago and then me would give me a look that meant, why are you listening in on my life but also me would be flattered in a major way.
so, don’t get any three-way ideas with this neighbour female because she is:
1. old
2. not hot
3. gross like
4. truck driver gross
5. also bragged about being racist and said she hated fags though i know it was just to make conversation but still, it wasn’t something to be impressed by at all.
6. plus she’s a pothead and i have prejudice against that because i have nothing better to do
so me and fil are going for an interview tomorrow and the girl said there is this one episode coming up where you learn sex positions and she said hush hush the audience won’t know that u are actually boyfriend and girlfriend. she said that only attractive people can be on the show because that’s what people at home watching want to be looking at and i said ok. my friend mike had a taping over the weekend and girl said it went very well and he was funny and stuff.
i hope i don’t get all tv hyper weird and be all clever.
wait.
that’s the point to this.
maybe i’ll have to sit there and list off every sex partner i’ve ever had and go into lengthy detail about why most of them were crap.
maybe they’ll let me talk about my cat. that would be the best. in my opinion.
maybe there will be all these new sex things going on in the world and i’ll be out of the loop and look like a knobby librarian.
whatever.
just as long as i get to plug this stupid blog and come off as better than everybody else, i will be happy.
i finished reading the new coupland book finally.
i read in slow motion these days.
i think about stuff that leads to other stuff and go in circles and fil is like um are you still on page two?
ten trillion people have emailed me about coupland’s reading in toronto that’s coming up soon. i don’t think i am going to go to it. ok i am 100 per cent certain that i am not going to it. first of all it costs ten dollars via ticketmaster.
secondly, dude won’t even be singing a song or anything and he also never responded to that one dumb email i wrote a couple years ago and i really don’t feel like sitting with other studious nerdburglars who think they are the boss off authors and feel obligated to chuckle at certain parts of the reading.
also, i will want to go up and meet him and shake his hand and then i’ll blubber and go ruhhhhh uhhhh i am obsessed with you so much and your microserfs book sent me to the looney bin.
thanks for that? ps. dickhead you never replied to my email.
and also i am depressed as crap now that i have read all of your books, beautiful and insightful as they are why can’t i have books, eh?
i think that it would be a w k w a r d and embarassing all around so, feh.
i should have gone to that other reading of his back when i was in grade ten and got it over and done with and that would be that but no, i was busy being up to no good and faking a british accent, dating that 29 year old.
i feel like tomorrow i am going to wake up and be thirty years old and i am going to blame it on everybody.
ok here in no particular order or even trying to be fashion:
