i lied about going to the dinosaur museum in my grade three school journal.

i even drew a bunch of dinosaurs and museum-looking stuff and i don’t think a dinosaur museum existed at the time or if there is one now.

my brother was reading my journal at the end of the school year when you bring home all of the excercise books you are proud of and he came across that one entry where it says me and my brother and my mom and dad went to the disosaur museum on saturday… and he’s like you fucking liar we NEVER went to the DINOSAUR MUSEUM you nerd!

So!

when you are a third-grader it isn’t very likely that anything of interest happens very often in your world so you have to make shit up or you have to copy what other people are writing about though most of the kids sitting near me were writing about the story the teacher just read to us or about their math homework and i thought that was pretty boring and very suck-uppy.

and in third grade you can’t go on google and find pictures of robots and ponies and write about them, you have to draw a picture and then make your journal entry go along with it.

HOLY HARD!

and you only have fifteen minutes in which to do this before it is recess and you still have to line up around the teacher’s desk to show her your journal and then you look at what everyone else did and that one kid who draws better than everybody else is being all show-offy and you are MAJOR jealous of him so you try and be his friend and he is all ignoring you and drawing pictures of amazing things and you are thinking he is going to be so totally RICH and famous forever and ever but then by grade 8 or 9 he is a big stoner who draws mushrooms and goth scribblings and you are like, oh burn.

ps there was always at least 5 people who would write DIARY instead of JOURNAL on the front of their excercise book and that was so UNCOOL and so you tried to explain to them that the word DIARY is lame city and they don’t get it because they are the kids who are all into fantasy and anne of green gables and so you break it down to diary = diarrhea and then they cross out diary and write journal over it and you are a hero.