over-hearing young people’s conversations fills me with rage.

it makes me want to smoke cigarettes and scowl from up in a tree and tape record everything i hear from a cute little microphone that i dangle inconspicuously from the branches and once the word like is used more than 30 times, i am allowed to make shit fall out of the tree on top of all the young people and i jump out like a superstar and exclaim THIS AMBUSH IS FOR THE WORD “LIKE” AND MAY YOU FROM HERE ON FORTH USE IT ONLY IF YOU ARE IN ENGLISH CLASS AND YOUR TEACHER IS TELLING YOU TO WRITE A SIMILE!!! BLAAAAAAAAAK!

and then all these cats that know how to walk on their hind legs show up and are all snotty to the young people and then the young people leave town forever except for little girls who are maybe 6 years old, they can stay because i like it when they look at my cat ears winter hat and roll their eyes and then go to school on monday and tell their best friend sarah that they saw a teenager wearing the dumbest hat ever and then sarah says, WHATEVER! MY BROTHER IS GAY! TOP THAT!

does anyone want to buy this? i am getting tired of looking at it.