taking turns getting pissed off at things

annoyed by things

everything

in and out of the room

all afternoon

every afternoon

toting this

grabbing that

trying not to sigh out loud

tolerating

madness

personality traits

habits

saying that you understand all the time

but how does that help

how does that fix anything at all

anyone

sometimes there are no more funny things to say and being appropriate is too much effort and compassion shouldn’t be free all the time you think

and then someone says well what about christmas spirit and then you want to rip out all of your hair and disappear until april maybe

or perhaps you’ll wait it out

the same as always

because you can’t escape calendars

and seasons

and people who depend on you

because sometimes you depend on them

and then when it is your turn for help you feel like an asshole asking for it and they have every right to flip you off

we don’t have the patience for feeling like an asshole

we don’t even have time for feelings

buying stuff for others because it’s what you really want

not being an activist

not trying anymore

not caring

saying this is my life

there is the supermarket

garbage day is thursday

some people knit

some people dance

and some drink

some have babies

there really isn’t a point to any of this

there are so many things to be mad about and so many things to brag about

potentially

why aren’t you wearing any clothes in your photographs

why do you expose yourself

how do you feel about that

don’t you have any self-respect

do you even care

where are you going with this

you’re an embarassment

for shame

sinner

pig

what a

why not share your world with others why not share things why not capture moments in time and say looksee here i am there we are big deal i don’t care i’m bored you’re bored

analyzing is what we do when there is nothing else to do when we know the subject enough because we hear about it enough and after all that nonsense all that is left is scandal and gossip and obsession

we want to care and we don’t want to

we want to see and forget

we want to forget forever but we can’t because we know it’s there

see you at AA.