blythe has a problem

a drinking problem

the problem is

she doesn’t drink

enough

listen up gossip queers

it’s none of your damn business

you wanna know, fucking email me then

don’t stir the pot by saying this that the other and assuming they wants to lay you

you want knives in my back or not, you fucking delivered them

i don’t have time for this mickey mouse bullshit

any friggin’ more

just remember what it was like in the beginning

before you ever came here

before we met

i moved to toronto and linked everyone and now i can’t be with you’s all ‘cos it brings me too much stress too much drama and too much pain to hear lies and gossip and rumors

i don’t want any part of it anymore

we can be friends and talk about the good ole gays when things were clever and angst-filled

don’t go all over the internet getting your link above mine just because you think it makes me angry

it’s kinda laughable

that you’re still like that

don’t go around commenting linking and fake-loving

‘cos i know what it’s really all about behind the scenes where “the magic happens”

a blog is a blog is a blog

you fully admitted you ripped me off from the start and this is the respect i get now

i took down ALL links and would link you gladly in a post and you know it but your ego won’t allow you to ask and you don’t even have to

i have far too many emotions over it right now to do anything about it

you knocked me up, i had an abortion and now i have an iud that is tearing my cervix apart

i never wanted to have an abortion and i know the hatemail that will come from mentioning it but yeh, not a day goes by that i don’t think about it

you did yer thing when i was a crazy loon and that shouldn’t have happened

the abortion had to of happened, all the medications i was on at the time, the thingamaling would of had arms growing out of it’s eye-sockets

and now i think i won’t go to heaven

because of us not because of you because i know that i am far from blameless in all of this

i chose my road i chose my path and all paths eventually lead to heaven but right now things are pretty hellish and this bloog of mine is a burden and a blessing sometimes it is one more than the other

i just want to start fresh

and i don’t ever plan to forget

the way

you looked

that nite

blogger why the fuck do i have this ad-thing now? is it because i am special or annoying and vapid and ridiculous? why didn’t you email me first. no other blogs i have seen has it yet. guh? fuh? muh.

whatever.

we talked about artificial intelligence and how we have to make the pool cleaner un-a.i. to make it truely random and then i got stung by a bee on my right hand in the palm and i didn’t cry i was just like wow, what a fucker, at least the stinger didn’t go in, but to feel the pain slowly shooting up my arm etcetera etcetera… i haven’t been stung in a very long time and the pain was actually, pretty fun.

aimee and i have a free dinner date meal tonite and we are going to be on our best behaviour and not be drunk, yet at least. there’s no booze there yet. i just got off the fone with her and she is like what? and i was like i know! i asked if we could bring our own like in massachusetts and zak was like, no dice.

so i am learning more about being a website gayface and i am reading the 2002 microsoft FrontPage insideout thingamaling. im not reading the 2004 because that one isnt here. i can’t wait til i am at page 1213! it’s as thick as the yellow pages.

what else?

nothing.

look i dont even care about your blog ok

get over it

i do not know why it doesnt work

i banned you because i dont have time for pissy little crap anymore

it is nothin personal

otherwise i would argue with you for hours

all in all i prewarned you

dont talk shit about something until u know the whole background

and they stick up for me kuz they do know my whole story and respect me

because i have struggled and kept shit together

and some little kid in the uk is dissing on them for liking me?

that disses on me too

i told u you would be banned

and then i banned you

i dont have time for ignorance

sorry

and no i am not going to track you down

just letting you know that if it ever comes to that

with u or anybody

raymi aint no fool

what exactly happened to your site anyway?

>From: “no name policy”

>To: parkdaleraymi@hotmail.com

>Subject: RE: do you see the kind of shit I have to put up with from your followers

>Date: Mon, 16 Aug 2004 12:04:29 +0100

>

>raymi,

>

>i don’t understand, i get all the abuse for apparantly hating you

>and not once have i used the word. sure my blog name could do with

>some tweaking in the name of diplomatic relations, so if that is

>what offends you let me know and i’ll change it. i still stand firm

>on my opinions of your followers, they are biased because they have

>deep respect for you, therefore less likely to tell it like it is.

>if one of my firends is being a complete twat, then i’ll tell him

>so. ok, fair point about not wanting to surround yourself with

>people who kiss your ass, however self-selecting who can and can’t

>leave comments kind of negates that argument. i’m sure you’ll agree

>that not everyone who leaves comments are adult and intelligent, i

>mean – look at jimpy for christ’s sake. i never said you didn’t

>care for me so i;m not sure where that came from? if you assumed

>this because of something i wrote, let me know and i’ll either

>clarify it amend it. and yes i am in the uk, i’m not sure what you

>can gain from tracking me but if you want to know where i live then

>just ask, i’m not hiding behind internet anonymity and will be more

>than happy to let you have some details about me. again i’m not

>sure why you’d want them unless you think you have local connections

>and you plan to have me deposited in a ditch. if you’re trying to

>get me in trouble with my isp, i can only see that as a little

>uneccessary, but if you think the end justifies the means so be it,

>i’m powerless to stop you. my blog has already stopped working so i

>supose you can feel a little happier about that, although having not

>means to contest it is a bit unfair.

>

>anyway, i’ll respond to the other email messages to. so, i

>suppose…to be continued

>

>

>>From: “Raymi Lauren”
>>To: no_name_policy@hotmail.com

>>Subject: RE: do you see the kind of shit I have to put up with from

>>your followers

>>Date: Fri, 13 Aug 2004 13:24:32 -0400

>>

>>listen faggot

>>

>>I started ihateraymi

>>and i do not want to surround myself with people who kiss my ass

>>only

>>i surround myself with people who are intelligent and adult and do

>>not push my buttons and say things that aren’t true about me

>>

>>and i never said i dont care for u

>>

>>and u in the uk mean i tracked u

>>and i could track you more

>>

>>that is all

>>

>

i like talking on my banana telephone and passing it off to person i am with and they go you are weird AND I go no, YOU are weird.

ok so here i am again with my naked self.

i’m not porn and i am not smut and i am not a slut and i have fucked more people than you prolly, well not more than tyranny has but still, up there and yeh that may be sinning according to your god or their god or my god, oh god. but what about porn stars and ron jeremy? what about sadam’s sons raping girls killing them? what about jerry springer? how about them apples?

i’m not trying to revolutionize anything

i am not asking for your respect i am not asking for your understanding i am not asking for your money i am not asking for your support i am not asking for your hand in marriage or a bond or trust or faith or loyal readership lovership hovership

i just like to do what i do

i don’t want to be a bad role model

i don’t want your children to smoke cigarettes

ever

but if they do, i don’t want to be the one you throw forks at

don’t blame marilyn manson for columbine, silly america

don’t blame iraq for 9/11 don’t even blame osama don’t blame michael moore don’t blame britney spears for chewing gum and holding pepsi in her hands

don’t even blame paris hilton for being famous for nothing, you birthed her, you put her in your shopping kart of tabloids and made her the skinny pretty she is

she isn’t famous for nothing, that is such total garbage when people say that

anyhow

what happens from here?

we’re so smart we’re outsmarting ourselves i think

“blame canada” – south park duders

this is the only planet we have that we know of so far, that they tell us, and look what we’re doing to it

harjinder, in the crazy hospital, told me why can’t we just look at flowers and the birds, who doesn’t want that? seriously. and then he hugged me because he knew i was afraid of him but liked him because i seriosuly believed he was osama and i gave him this green face cloth and said that it represented world peace to me and to never lose it, and i wrapped it around an apple that i washed for him and i said why did you want me to strangle you when we were in the lock-up room, you scared me. anyway, i told him about 9/11 and how i was suffering from post-trauma and he kinda chuckled but then it wigged him out so much he had to leave the table and go to his room because i was crying and he said i laughed at america, at those people, but now i see how it can affect one girl, one 20 year old girl in canada who lived there and here she is now. we were both so skinny and not eating right and schizophrenics were barking at each other behind us and my mum kept coming in all amused by it but mum, you don’t know what it was like for me to be there, you get to come by and drop off some magazines and journals and a few hello kitty shirts and i have to wake up in fear and panic and try to escape and have anxiety attacks and hang out with people who are trying to have sex with me and people so out of their minds that to me it seems like they are telling the mother-fucking truth.

anyway.

i still want to be an ambassador for to the UN for Canada.

heh.