sometimes i just want to cut myself. not seriously do it. ok maybe but like just to see how it feels. i already pick at myself like crazy, my legs, the back of my shoulders, neck, face, anywhere i can reach. raymi has scars. raymi gives herself scars. when something goes bad or the second stress arises my hands go at my body and pick. everyone tells me it’s normal but seriously i don’t think that it is, well it is but not to the extent i’m doing it. you know? if things were cool i wouldn’t be picking and scarring myself.
i’m fucking embarassed dude. i just want my face to tan so i don’t have to wear make-up to cover that shit up and the huge circles under my eyes. fuck.
so back to cutting myself. i’m just looking at my arms and the scars and scrapes from raymi accidents and i think how awesome a big long deep boner of a scar down my left arm to the wrist would look.
laura at the slutfactory told me she liked being cut when her boyfriend fucked her from behind and she enjoyed watching her blood go down her arms all over the place.
decent.
a few scars here and there make sense.
and no mum i won’t actually do it so don’t go all mom’d out in my comments. please.
im friggin bored already. there is no pot here yet. angelo is going running and then coming over after. hope his lungs don’t explode cyanide from all the ruuuunnin’. csi is a pretty good show, no? england lost yesterday and everyone was mad and i was like go france now’s your chance. i’m listening to ave maria right now. i don’t know why audblog is fuckified. there’s about six audio posts out there somewhere, waiting, gone, who knows. velvet revolver, AS IF slash and scott weiland and others that’s awesome. i guess slash finally parted his hair to the side, looked around and realised fuck man, i should be in a better band. eat shit g&r.
i was a fucking horn dog yesterday. i always am when im hung over and shitfeeling. i am Thee Molestor.
jimmy was all if you’re gonna get drunk, get shitty. fucking right man. v-man saw his dad when we was driving and everyone went paranoid for a bit. i’m like lets audblog this but no one had a fone, or a license. winners. chemo fell hard into the grass, his shoulder. those guys are animals. gay-lee had a bloody nose. hardcore. his girlfriend sounds like sugarbaby and she started talking about juicy oranges until angelo’s dick grew out so far i hung my purse on it.
terry busted out the gentleman’s drink after the pub – england losing – homoerotic antics. as you can tell i have a jack daniel’s fetish, he says, hundred dollar bottle, silver-sashed, in-hand. we were all drinking from those tiny guinness cups and it actually looked like guinness, tar, or more tar.
i have a ganglion thing on my left hand, it goes away and it comes back and i just want to cut it off for good. with a razor blade like in the newest vice. or maybe i’ll smash the other hand so it grows one and i can be symmetrical.
if i had a penis they would let me play soccer with them. if i weren’t the unlimberest person in the world with legs what are made of twigs and shoes with no treads and a dumb look on my face, perhaps. it’s fucking hot out dude.
smoking makes me take craps. someone asked me this and i was like no it doesn’t but ya man, it sure does.
like i’m gonna go try and eek one now. wait feeling passed.
i’m growing mexican pussy hair. the bermuda triangle. what?
i can’t decide if i should put on fake tanner or lay out in the sun until i sweat off five pounds and pass out into the grass.
into the grass.
when a girl kisses me i am like do it again.
but it’s ok dude ‘cos another one is already in-line after you. sucka.
ehm sorry for the holes in your lawn from my heels.
last nite was fuuuuun. i took an hour-long piss behind a tree by the side of the road and people were walking up to us and im like come on finish already, took a little break in the pushing of urine and a big sigh and then more and more comes out. like i think i ordered the piss that takes forever.
katherine was wasted and we walked around trying to find a girl for her to beat up and me to stand there going what what who you messin’ with now punk.
nah. everyone knows raymi isn’t a fighter. well maybe. i don’t boast to be something i’m not. i just boast. period. i try and humiliate the opponent, destroy their confidence a little and think maybe they won’t slap me, yet at least.
this girl flipped a chair over kuz she thought i was gonna sit in it. how funny is that. flattering actually. i’m sorry your girl came in the room wanting blow and asked if she owed anything, asked me, like it’s my fucking blow wtf? and im like ya just show me your boobs. so testosterone tuesday flips the chair. she also elbowed schrader in the jaw knocking his glasses off and then shauna got hit in the mouth by accident because she was standing beside schrader and she starts crying but chair flipper was like at least it wasn’t your tooth like that makes everything better. i just looked at katherine like why isn’t schrader going mental? but i know now.
anyway, being the party slut rules but then everyone keeps coming up to you expecting to see your tits, dude my back was turned the other way i swear.
i left my ‘kini at kat’s, we were going to tub it but it didn’t happen. again. one day maybe we’ll get it right. angelo’s ex girl gave me some bad looks. glad i didn’t know it at the time. i think i was too busy calling everyone a douchebag and pretendingto like their purses.
one little girl walked around being all straight-edge. that is just annoying. i think it’s cool that you believe in something enough to take a stand and be all i am not going to do drugs and booze until my eyes explode out of their sockets but man, it’s pretty fucking obvious you’re straight-edge kuz your parents are nazis and will hit you with a broom and take away that LV purse and you wear braces but you’re cute so i’m sorry i’m saying mean things. is it also a coincidence that straight-edge girls dress like avril lavigne?
i’m not going to drink for awhile i think. maybe three hours. heh. no i feel alcohol fatness rearing its head, undoing all the pretend sit-ups i do. and that’s gay.
so it’s another kegger tonite. im wearing slut boots and fishnets, hizzah! it’s down the street so i can just saunter over which is good kuz i was gettin’ tired of hitchin’ all the time. i’m pretty hung feeling still so if i tie one on i’ll end up punching a window.
we ate like mental and now i have garlic farts to the extreme. i’m wearing a turtleneck and i am sweating bananas. i’m probably going to put that fake tanner shit all over ma-self tomorrow, im turning white again. my pussy is leaking semen and my fishnets are under my underpants, superman style. i’m a fucking loser.
my dad is ripping me about my boots right now. he says ms. cher boots could those things be pointy enough. yesterday i said he had many points about a lot of things but mainly at the top of his head. and then he went back to mowing the lawn. that’s how our family talks/arguments are, heavy ones i mean, you say a bunch of crap to each other and then someone says something light and dumb, suppose to be funny, and then the discussion is closed.
he won’t let me mow the lawn because i will probably run over the cord or stick my fingers in there when it is on. he has to do it a specific way, straight fucking lines back and forth. boring. if i did the lawn it would be WICKED! i’d be all going in circles like a spiral until i go round and round to the middle where i am stuck and then i have to stay there ’til everything grows back or glinda shows up and is like just go backwards on the green grass clipping road, you stupid girl. you had the power within you all along. and i’m all you are ugly.
and like i use to cut the grass all the fucking time when i worked at the hardware store and that grass was slanted on a hill like major slope going on there. at least i got to use a gas mower. i’d run over pieces of metal and big rocks and all kinds of junk it was so fun. i wore my smock and people would honk at me a lot. i felt like such a nerd. i am such a nerd.
everyone was on e at the second no third party yesterday. kelly wanted me to do one. fuck i would have but i’m really not a fan of my shoulders clenching up so tight they touch my ears and my spine gets all pointy curved. i’m like that all the time without designer pills. well wait what? nevermind. i was fucking brutal with my dad too talking to him like all condescending and facetious only shawn noticed though. hey man all ya need to reach is one person, you know? so i called natalie by the wrong name and she was pretty insulted, sorry nat. i slapped jamie-jonathan-taylor-thomas pretty fucking hard and he liked it but everytime after that connecting properly wasn’t happening. i was like ill slap you really hard i know exactly where to hit you and you will feel good and hes bring it on and then i fucking hit him, hard. i got pictures of his dogs doing eachother and they’re both boy dogs. gay dogs are the best.
katie drove around, high-heeled in the hummer.
my head is curling over into my laptop.
it was that ashley girl what looks like a barbie’s birthday.
drinking vodka sloop with this berry sprite.
sorry wally suede jacket.
kelly’s pants were awesome. whut up.
i ate all their purple onions and feta.
i walked diagonally and fell into people. that keeps happening. one of these day’s someone is going to just shove me down the stairs or out the glass window where you smoke in a mosh pit at the bar schrader is banned from.
hmm lets see how many people are banned like all over town.
