im in the backseat and my pussy is wet and there’s a beer bottle between my legs.

this sounds good only if it is really really low.

to all the girls i’ve loved before

giv’r

happy birthday slonky larue. we love you.

and get a blog already.

there comes a time in every girl’s life when she’s really got to ask herself: “Is she ready to be going steady?”

there comes a time where she’s got to ask herself:

“steady or not? Do u really want to be johnnny’s steady?”

Well, first of all,lets see if dating this one boy Johnny……

Three important rules for breaking up

Don’t put off breaking up when you know you want to

Prolonging the situation only makes it worse

Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly

Don’t make a big production

Don’t make up an elaborate story

This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene

If you wanna date other people say so

Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected

Even if you’ve gone together for only a short time,

And haven’t been too serious,

There’s still a feeling of rejection

When someone says she preferres the company of others

To your exclusive company,

But if you’re honest, and direct,

And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news,

The boy will respect you for your frankness,

And honestly he’ll apeciate the kind of straight foward manner

In which you told him your decision

Unless he’s a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends

I’m head of the class

I’m popular

I’m a quarter back

I’m popular

My mom says I’m a catch

I’m popular

I’m never last picked

I got a cheerleader chick

Being attractive is the most important thing there is

If you wanna catch the biggest fish in your pond

You have to be as attractive as possible

Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean

Wash it at least every two weeks

Once every two weeks

And if you see Johnny football hero in the hall

Tell him he played a great game

Tell him you like his article in the newspaper

I’m the party star

I’m popular

I’ve got my own car

I’m popular

I’ll never get caught

I’m popular

I make football bets

I’m a teachers pet.

I propose we support a one month limit on going steady

I think It will keep you both more able to deal with weird situations

And get to know more people

I think if you’re ready to go out with Johnny

Now’s the time to tell him about your one month limit

He wont mind he’ll apreciate your fresh look on dating

And once you’ve dated someone else you can date him again

I’m sure he’ll like it

Everyone will appreciate it

You’re so novel, what a good idea

You can keep your time to your self

You don’t need date insurance

You can go out with whoever you want to

Every boy, every boy in the whole world could be yours

If you’ll just listen to my plan

the teenage guide to popularity

I’m head of the class

I’m popular

I’m a quarter back

I’m popular

My mom says I’m a catch

I’m popular

I’m never last picked

I got a cheerleader chick

I’m the party star

I’m popular

I’ve got my own car

I’m popular

I’ll never get caught

I’m popular

I’m the teacher’s pet

I make football bets

Boy,I saw you soon as you came bouncing through the door

You and your men and them just took over the floor

Started doing your thing

And it made me notice you even more

The way you turned around and looked at me it seemed as though

You must have somehow felt me staring on the low

Something tells me you’re the kind of guy I’d like to get to know

I ain’t even gonna front

I ain’t even gonna lie

Since you walked up in the club

I’ve been giving you the eye

We can dance if you want

Get it cracking if you like

Must be a full moon

Feel like one of those nights

Why is this the first time I’m seeing you around

Could you be visiting or are you new in town

Yeah,whatever the case

I’m feeling you right here and right now

Your smile and all the love you showing lets me know that you like what you see

and wanna get to know me too

This could very well be a start of something special

Happy that I met you

I ain’t even gonna front

I ain’t even gonna lie

Since you walked up in the club

I’ve been giving you the eye

We can dance if you want

Get it cracking if you like

Must be a full moon

Feel like one of those nights

I didn’t think that I’d come here tonight,meet someone like you

Start feeling the way I do

Seems like we’ve known each other most of our lives

After one conservation,this must be right

hey kurt cobain,

i was totally in love with you and i thought i WAS you and i fantasized about meeting you at my old cottage on the deck by the beach and saying i knew you weren’t really dead you are mine now or something.

and then i was in love with damon albarn from blur.

and then i had my first boyfriend mike who was one year older and i lost my virginty to him on his basement floor and jeopardy was on no joke and when i went home i smelled a weird pungent candy smell for awhile and i didnt really bleed til the second time. we dated for one year and 8 months and i was loyal the whole time.

anyway, before that, in grade six i had a garage sale, saved up the money and bought in utero, incesticide and the nevermind cassettes. wicked cool.

yo your woman is crazy fucked right now huh. shame really.

i was like that in la. crazzy stringy hair ‘n all spurting crap left and right. not literally. wordically. neeahht.

i think i’m going to take a photography course and write more articles and actually get paid for them, clean up my act and get a model portfolio done, sing more, get my license and excercise.

lie down in the park in the middle of my back yard on my back in a red and grey striped sweater and catch rays. blek.

i want to buy a slip ‘n slide.

i’m going to start an illegal lawn-dart gambling competition ring. but first i have to practise like mad. we have these darts from way way back and now they’re outlawed, out of make. thunk through my head.

ok well bye.

i wish i could see in the dark. i couldn’t read any of the words on the dryer dials last nite, just when your eyes begin to focus, things decide to get wavy wiggly wobbly so you pretend you know what you’re doing and press n turn everyfuckingthing you can. i walked thru this puddle of water on schrader’s carpet last nite from the leaky fishtank, only 4 times and especially right after i put my brand new dry socks on. i am SO mexican. people would come by and walk right thru it too be cause we forgot to tell them about it. everyone was sitting with their bare feet all over the place. we were suppose to go to le bar but it did’nae happen.

went over to the boy’s and watched the rest of gummo. i coudn’t get over how sensually disgusting the kid is whilst eating that chocolate bar in the dirty bathwater tub. and his mum is obviously a sketchbag but there’s love in her heart for the ugmo lil guy when she lathers up his hair astroboy-like and shakes the suds off her hands right into his spaghetti and milk. i’m not even going to talk about the piece of bacon taped to the tile wall.

patrick swazey is sexy. i would pay to touch him.

This dog walks into a bar. The bartender says “Look, we don’t serve dogs here.” The dog says “I’m waiting for a genie.” A monkey cozies up to the dog and says “For a twenty I’ll give you a night you’ll never forget.”

So the dog yells “All right! Where’s that girl with the loose tooth?”

i screamed like the hurtingest woman ever on drop zone at canada’s wonderland and i got the worst burn on my shoulders and neck and arms and i got mustard on both the prizes we won like immediately. i hate mustard. i got this eyedropper thing, a liquid lunch it is, the flavor of bbq chips. more like bbq saliva-vomit.

sometimes i just want to throw all my clothes out the goddamn window at the old man next door and make secret fart noises and hide so he will go cucko trying to figure out if there is such thing as a garden what farts.