so an old lady stripper came over last nite. not here. to ben’s. for his birthday. she was dressed like a cop and played the theme from COPS. you have the right to remain sexy. she had a tacky stripper thong on, you know the one with the clips because strippers are so lazy and cannot be bothered to sexily bend over and shimmy out of their skivs so they have to unclip this awful little piece of string off their body because it is such a hard thing to be done. she specifically said no photographs were allowed. sorry.
i am going to cut off my bangs because they are perfectly even with my eyeballs now so yesterday they made ‘em all bloaty red bloodshot all nite long. so pissed off. so i went swimming in the rain when it was dark, alone, and weirded everyone out. pfft.
when i drink beer my pussy gets wet.
