Yah, i don’t think i’ll ever be doing drugs again. i don’t want my heart to stop and my tongue to be gnawed off and running off just twenty minutes sleep ruins the whole day. and, today would’ve been the nicest day to walk around baked (assuming i planned to continue with the whole drug-thing) in my old ‘hood. instead i hid in the tub for three hours and thought about the two mini panic attacks i had, one last nite the other the nite previous. both after copious amounts of durrrrgs. that shit just isn’t cool anymore. sure i can do crazy jumps in the air and tell amazing stories but, you know, it’s not worth feeling like a scuzz and going straight to drinking the next day after 5pm.

i’ve lost weight. the said-weight i’ve always told people i weigh, i now finally weigh that amount. maybe even less. that kinda rules. we have tons of footage from karaoke and me just walking around this apt. getting dressed and talking about karaoke and then in the cab talking about karaoke. i’m thinking of making a cd of my karaoke hits. but we all know this won’t happen ’til i have five monkeys doing everything for me. fuck, i’ve had this blog for three years and i still haven’t changed it over to raymitheminx.com – i have that gayass minxraymi.com site but that is just like, emptysville. i need to go bump into a nerd or something.

yah so i’m super-psyched to finally have a psychiatrist appointment lined-up for Wednesday, day after i get back to Toronto. i’ve been waiting since August. Can you believe that? I’m like, um hi, what if i jump out of a window before my appt. in November ? What the fuck then? Assholes.