relate relate retaliate

A friend of mine (a famous friend of mine therefore to be taken as gospel) said this photo was the best I’d ever taken. Interesting. Like magazine worthy. More interesting hmmm. Now is it the spring fever talking or? I feel as though I have done everything already before and everyone is sick and bored of me blah blah etc. people surprise you everyday.

Annoyed could not locate my bunny ears yesterday/all weekend.

A younger guy friend of mine who is strictly a platonic brotherly literary sort of guy who goes yolo sometimes, straight and narrow with demons, but yolo in him don’t forget – we get together and I update him on all the good backstory of my life, the shit I actually get up to. The last time we met he was like and why aren’t you sharing THIS instead? Now he calls for more narrative in this stupid blog SO with that in mind I will try to be more linear (now googling what linear means) with it and be less space cadet all over the place. More direction?

adjective: linear

arranged in or extending along a straight or nearly straight line.
“linear arrangements”
synonyms: straight, direct, undeviating, as straight as an arrow; sequential
“linear motion”
consisting of or predominantly formed using lines or outlines.
“simple linear designs”
involving one dimension only.
“linear elasticity”
able to be represented by a straight line on a graph; involving or exhibiting directly proportional change in two related quantities.
“linear functions”
progressing from one stage to another in a single series of steps; sequential.
“a linear narrative”

Okay that makes sense and is what I thought I meant.

Needing to keep a bit of the mystique though because you just got to but will show nipples again perhaps. Have been blasting on twitter to see how they react and it’s odd that nudity is allowed there, refreshing. I feel like less family types eyes are on me there. But I will always be about the blog, there has to be reason to come here. This is why I am so annoying on all social feeds overposting because really it’s my inner blog screaming out, to blog, like I used to. It’s no longer immediate for me or easy like it used to be so it takes awhile. Writing a book is even harder yet.

In the meanwhile I dabble in sexy jobs. I AM A SEX SYMBOL O_O . just jk but you know, not really? What’s my end game? Jesus don’t ask me that. I am approaching crafting or constructing my sexual image and building it in the ways a porn star might do their online self-promo. I am going to join tinder again for the promo exposure not for the dating. Well if I meet someone awesome by accident then giddy-uppa.

What’s also great is constructive criticism you don’t have the time for. Oh my god good grief. Yeah I get it I look hotter more casual-like in photos. Guy I don’t know how to be casual! Let me see you try this. Sometimes I have to contort to mask the juicy or the tired I may be looking, or my makeup face I slept in the night before and haven’t removed. And it’s always from men too. GRRRR. Minx claws are contracting or whatever claws do.

I am just annoyed because I have to do my hair makeup full all out and take some Raymazing pictures for a postcard to be printed but I am too tired and lazy nahmean? You can never have a day off from destiny if you ever want to realize it.

And I’ve other adult chores to do today but I don’t want to do them either. You ever get like that. Trapped by your lists? I bet Type-A personalities who read my blog are like NO and read my blog solely as if I am a human specimen freak. I am kind of a little like Raymi’s Playhouse no?

I’m gonna be the juicy one on Friday. You’ll see. I have to practise my photo poses. I’ll be doing it again in the fall too. Crazy! Craymazing. Raymtastical. Huzzah! Jubilant! The bee’s knees.

Ok, ok.

I have a troll who bashes my belly button like I GAF (give a fuck!)(Some people have super disgusting torsos yo I think I am doing alright thanks) They have done it for years, went silent then re-appeared once I joined Naked News. Okay bro. You can stop trying to hurt me about my body I am pretty damn body aware and don’t care. It’s also nice to see that you have not gotten a life in years.

Just do it Euro style, or Kate Moss.

Remind me to buy cilantro please.

Rocky loves my roommate more than me. Whatever. He’s into boys. He loves me too don’t worry but at night I give him the cold shoulder so he is conditioned to manipulate someone else.

Once I get all my shit together I’ll show you how many pairs of jeans I have now thanks to my mom and her jeans buying problem.

When my friend’s random text came in about narative I blew up at him and said be lucky I blogged at all today! It was right after I hit publish on the last post I blogged. Which he didn’t read and had nothing to do with his text at all. See how exhausting blogging can be and if you’re in a state when you do it, good luck to you. I see it as a creative dumping ground and the slate is clean when I get all the images up that I have uploaded.

The thing is he was right so I was exploding about that.

Everyone is right! I do need casual pictures. I AM sexier when I am not trying to be sexy. I agree with you all yes yes but shut up okay.

I also blew up at my mom via text when I posted my tanning bed picture because she made a comment to me.

The more things you do, the more comments you get, you have to roll with it and be as mellow yellow as you can. There will always be a dissenter in the crowd, even when they’re on your side. We are just consumed by constant input, we seek it out, bring it on ourselves. When it’s your job essentially to make a lot of noise and get them to notice and it works you only have yourself to blame, or to thank.

I am proud of my eyes in this picture.

Look I’m the guy from Coldplay in the yellow music video. That’s the second time I have said yellow now in this post. I think I said it in my last post too. My world is really big, guys.

I’m annoying? I have no clue of which you speak. What’s annoying is these jeggings and their crotch area holy crap.

Mom is trying to burn me with a duck lips burn except she is the only one frigging making them so burn on mom ilu xox.

The trick to eternal youth is to stay childlike forever. I saw some thing on facebook with an old lady in a tiara who throws weird parties for other geezers and she was like 90 or something, 98? Yeah so provided I live that long I will be still getting up to stupid crap like that. See how I write all juvenile like? It takes a genius to master that.

Love this pic hate those pants. If I put a catwang head there it would just confuse and distract what is the point. It is good that I am drawing attention to this now.

We broke up. We tried to make it work but we just fight too much. I will refrain from saying anything else. It was mutual. Well it was topsy turvy for awhile and took turns having the breakup power but in the end it was a tie, we just fought a lot. I can play the age card maybe but also ultimately we are different people and I require more worship and appreciation. I am extremely needy and demanding. I have standards and of a certain league IMO and I think only a certain amount of people are out there to get, tolerate, and appreciate that. So the hunt continues. Lets be honest, there are certain things I do that guys just can’t handle. I am like a split personality person. I am old fashioned relationship romantical moony type and loyal but I also have a little Jim Morrison strain of trouble that runs through me.

And the story will always revolve around me and it can repulse some, I get it. I can have a cast of key players throughout and a partner in crime for sure, but that partner cannot be a force that is working against me. It needs to bring me up, not down.

Well so much for not really speaking about it.

This is going to be an experience. I need to print 400-600 postcards. That’s a lot of people.

Lol snacks.

I gotta go against my rule of blog now and to be continued this ish. Sorry!

But please though just don’t kale my vibe.

xo Raymkenstein

It’s not killing me but it might as well.

I’m nervous for this upcoming spring season, particularly about longboarding and am I too old and if I bail I’ll probably break something and I have never broken anything in my entire life and I don’t want to start now plus it is tempting fate every time you do something dangerous. It doesn’t take a genius to know that sitting down versus longboarding is for sure a way less knee shattering possibility-inducing activity. No one breaks their leg watching tv, am I right?

But fuck that I am going longboarding anyway. Our street is great for it, I am going to get wicked good again and limber and agile and I won’t start until I’ve become a rubber band of fitness again. That’s a self promise and you can be witness to this guarantee to not kill myself through physical recreational activities or any kind of sport this spring/summer. Or I will just come back and report on the cray thing I did afterward like climbing that apparatus at Brickworks at eleven in the morning. I am lucky my heart didn’t explode but that’s the thing you have to be ready to Raymbo throw down at the drop of a hat because I am not a NO Girl.

But anyway, I am said to be cray, and it’s part of my charm. Oh whatever. I say what I mean and I mean what I say, everything I write, do, or think is intentional, I am in control and I do have a filter. In the split second that I do that thing, I’ve already though it through and decided it will be funny or jarring and lets go for it.

We were getting ready for dinner/breakfast. Teach had left over pizza so he was able to coast through the day, I was hungry but I can have coffee all day sometimes only and be alright. Men go insane if they don’t eat so this was pushing our luck a little having a top floor shoot but someone is a little in the dog house and I am milking it.

I bet you are like WHY is he always in trouble? How scary an iron fist ruler is Raymi afterall??? Well maybe if I had my own pilot you’d get to know these things, hear that MTV Creeps? Baha as if I wouldn’t be acting all Marie Antoinette perfect on camera 24/7. Yes I do a good diva flip out, of course but, I think I would shave 50% of them out. Is it possible though? Do reality tv stars act crazier on tv? I don’t watch the Kardashians but my mother said they seem to act crazier for tv, invent dramas and fights over inane shit. That wouldn’t even be necessary in my household, something retarded happens every 3 seconds.

Lots of nudity too so, that’s good for ratings.

You recognize the old rug. We had it down here for a bit but it got all mangled up and trapped dust and other miscellaneous cray.

This landing needs a makeover.

I am a serious blob right now. My body happiness is at a low, yes it’s dull when I talk about it but here is your update, you can and will see in these photos the progression of adding 4lbs of weight over the weekend from my lifestyle and diet. This is a DO NOT do this lesson. Four pounds is nothing I know but when you are a pasty white ghost and wear tiny clothes all the time and have another burlesque show around the corner it matters. I can’t stop eating and drinking because I am sad. And mad. And trying to get glad. It is a temporary thing and I am just being honest and self indulgent.

This is probably too racy but so what.

I am a “burlesque” dancer and being comfortable with my body is important. I don’t know why I am getting defensive. It is my way I guess.

This board tells a story, every sticker, from every concert, festival, gift. Time capsule.

This one is juicy. It is time to go for a run once I figure out that new ipod that a Little Raymi sent me. That is man stuff I save my brain powers for other things. Other stuff I don’t know how to do around here: the hard tv things like computer to tv input and um, something? That’s when teacher shines! Old fashion lazy sexism is the greatest. In our cab to dinner last night for example you just immediately get a vibe that as the woman you do not have to talk which actually feels like don’t GET to talk which is fine for me cos the last bit of time before leaving the house was spent getting ready so I am fine tuning out while Teacher navigates so I can read tweets and email etc however it still stings a little bit, like my brain is less trusted than a man’s brain to get us to a restaurant. Fine I will sit here and pretend to be deaf like how I was being treated anyway, I said where we were going to and the driver waited for teach to get in to repeat the very same thing I just said. That happened a lot at the hardware store I worked at too. It makes you get bitchier, it really does. I zinged customers like cray then disappear in to the back or go for a smoke. My bosses were Italian and were like, shrug. Hah.

Still have to mail it. I keep my word but, for long periods of time. I will mail it next week and no take backs.

This makes the light red in the room.

Lady Garbage used the fashion foam collar for an actual nook to sleep like a pretzel in. It was adorablah. You know what I liked about dinner? It was affordablah.

Who’s spoiled?


This is how you train dogs I thought.

To catch a predator.

I didn’t put that crap on my hair, teacher used it, and it worked for his dirty messed up bloody shirt look.

Oh Lady Garbage what’s the matter?

See I was wearing tights and not naked legs on that cold Friday night not that anybody asked or accused me haha. Blogging: clearing up shit no one cares about est. 2000 thereabouts.

That hat is an Adventurehouse score. I’ve never worn it out, I better come up with a reason to soon before winter’s gone for good. It’s warm out today! Lazy ass dog esq and I just went out and now she is passed out on the couch like Snoopy.

Lure them in by breathing a little bit at them like a brief warm fog (ew I know I know!) and they will come in for a sniff kiss mom your cray animal whispering has passed on to me thank yew.

Stella? Hello? Polo!

(Next up will be some good old fashioned good girl juicy fun ;).