It’s not killing me but it might as well.

I’m nervous for this upcoming spring season, particularly about longboarding and am I too old and if I bail I’ll probably break something and I have never broken anything in my entire life and I don’t want to start now plus it is tempting fate every time you do something dangerous. It doesn’t take a genius to know that sitting down versus longboarding is for sure a way less knee shattering possibility-inducing activity. No one breaks their leg watching tv, am I right?

But fuck that I am going longboarding anyway. Our street is great for it, I am going to get wicked good again and limber and agile and I won’t start until I’ve become a rubber band of fitness again. That’s a self promise and you can be witness to this guarantee to not kill myself through physical recreational activities or any kind of sport this spring/summer. Or I will just come back and report on the cray thing I did afterward like climbing that apparatus at Brickworks at eleven in the morning. I am lucky my heart didn’t explode but that’s the thing you have to be ready to Raymbo throw down at the drop of a hat because I am not a NO Girl.

But anyway, I am said to be cray, and it’s part of my charm. Oh whatever. I say what I mean and I mean what I say, everything I write, do, or think is intentional, I am in control and I do have a filter. In the split second that I do that thing, I’ve already though it through and decided it will be funny or jarring and lets go for it.

We were getting ready for dinner/breakfast. Teach had left over pizza so he was able to coast through the day, I was hungry but I can have coffee all day sometimes only and be alright. Men go insane if they don’t eat so this was pushing our luck a little having a top floor shoot but someone is a little in the dog house and I am milking it.

I bet you are like WHY is he always in trouble? How scary an iron fist ruler is Raymi afterall??? Well maybe if I had my own pilot you’d get to know these things, hear that MTV Creeps? Baha as if I wouldn’t be acting all Marie Antoinette perfect on camera 24/7. Yes I do a good diva flip out, of course but, I think I would shave 50% of them out. Is it possible though? Do reality tv stars act crazier on tv? I don’t watch the Kardashians but my mother said they seem to act crazier for tv, invent dramas and fights over inane shit. That wouldn’t even be necessary in my household, something retarded happens every 3 seconds.

Lots of nudity too so, that’s good for ratings.

You recognize the old rug. We had it down here for a bit but it got all mangled up and trapped dust and other miscellaneous cray.

This landing needs a makeover.

I am a serious blob right now. My body happiness is at a low, yes it’s dull when I talk about it but here is your update, you can and will see in these photos the progression of adding 4lbs of weight over the weekend from my lifestyle and diet. This is a DO NOT do this lesson. Four pounds is nothing I know but when you are a pasty white ghost and wear tiny clothes all the time and have another burlesque show around the corner it matters. I can’t stop eating and drinking because I am sad. And mad. And trying to get glad. It is a temporary thing and I am just being honest and self indulgent.

This is probably too racy but so what.

I am a “burlesque” dancer and being comfortable with my body is important. I don’t know why I am getting defensive. It is my way I guess.

This board tells a story, every sticker, from every concert, festival, gift. Time capsule.

This one is juicy. It is time to go for a run once I figure out that new ipod that a Little Raymi sent me. That is man stuff I save my brain powers for other things. Other stuff I don’t know how to do around here: the hard tv things like computer to tv input and um, something? That’s when teacher shines! Old fashion lazy sexism is the greatest. In our cab to dinner last night for example you just immediately get a vibe that as the woman you do not have to talk which actually feels like don’t GET to talk which is fine for me cos the last bit of time before leaving the house was spent getting ready so I am fine tuning out while Teacher navigates so I can read tweets and email etc however it still stings a little bit, like my brain is less trusted than a man’s brain to get us to a restaurant. Fine I will sit here and pretend to be deaf like how I was being treated anyway, I said where we were going to and the driver waited for teach to get in to repeat the very same thing I just said. That happened a lot at the hardware store I worked at too. It makes you get bitchier, it really does. I zinged customers like cray then disappear in to the back or go for a smoke. My bosses were Italian and were like, shrug. Hah.

Still have to mail it. I keep my word but, for long periods of time. I will mail it next week and no take backs.

This makes the light red in the room.

Lady Garbage used the fashion foam collar for an actual nook to sleep like a pretzel in. It was adorablah. You know what I liked about dinner? It was affordablah.

Who’s spoiled?

HOW TO INFLUENCE PEERS AND SCARE PEOPLE. My next book.

This is how you train dogs I thought.

To catch a predator.

I didn’t put that crap on my hair, teacher used it, and it worked for his dirty messed up bloody shirt look.

Oh Lady Garbage what’s the matter?

See I was wearing tights and not naked legs on that cold Friday night not that anybody asked or accused me haha. Blogging: clearing up shit no one cares about est. 2000 thereabouts.

That hat is an Adventurehouse score. I’ve never worn it out, I better come up with a reason to soon before winter’s gone for good. It’s warm out today! Lazy ass dog esq and I just went out and now she is passed out on the couch like Snoopy.

Lure them in by breathing a little bit at them like a brief warm fog (ew I know I know!) and they will come in for a sniff kiss mom your cray animal whispering has passed on to me thank yew.

Stella? Hello? Polo!

(Next up will be some good old fashioned good girl juicy fun ;).