when nerds attack

there has been some internet fallout preceding monday’s town hall. basically, many people are finding themselves confused as to why myself and sass were included in the droning-on pointless getting nowhere irrelevant circle jerk which took place that evening. i’ve seen blame put on on to our heads for the “disaster” of the video shorting out (hilarious) to the then “embarrassment” of us sitting up there. we’re even being labeled as hipsters, ha ha. *update: now the prevalent term is “socialites” because going outside sometimes makes you one. news to me!

you know, i was personally invited to sit on this panel and i then decided to nominate sass cos why not, the more the merrier. if you felt like you are better qualified for something like this in the future, then by all means sign up. i am making absolutely no apologies for helping out. if we were male bloggers this would have been a non-issue. without a doubt. we tried to drive the point home that you need to appeal to others outside your stupid little boys club making a shit ton of noise garnering zero progress. why would i cut off an “expert” to reply to a comment posed as a question? i know the issues, true i cannot verbalize them effectively on the spot, but i know them, and i assumed everyone else in that room knew them too (in actuality no “new” news came to light monday nite) so why reiterate?

we were there to bring much-needed attention to this story, how that eludes some is beyond me. at the end when olivia chow finally turned up (then beat it out of there for a flight) i finally cut off rocky and said my little spiel to wrap it all up more or less along the lines of it is unanimous that we are all concerned and now we need to act, we can build a new internet tower in the sky bla blah blah talk tech all you want but you need to approach this emotionally…all throughout the talk we, myself, sass and ESPECIALLY even mark of mozilla were like people, shut up. i wish i kept his notes, he offered them to me. they consisted of a spider web diagram of real words that people can not only relate to, comprehend, but would actually care to listen to. his key point was DON’T BE DEPRESSED – how techy is that? guy understands fully that these panels are giant snoozefests and opportunities for cranky whiners to whine (and then go home to their internet to whine some more). hate to break it to you tech world but, you’re boring. it’s not that we are stupid and you are smart (why do you think my blog is so fucking popular, do you think i’m using the full-capacity of my brain every time i sit down here? you know there’s more than one kind of intelligence right?) it’s that we know how to influence people, we know how to make it interesting and for that to happen we have to show up and be interested and interesting. 95% of that room needs public speaking lessons, you couldn’t sell water to someone dying of thirst in a desert. luckily i have a brain and sussed out that this issue is a biggie and looked through all the boring blank white space and words on my own cos you sure as shit didn’t lend a hand in that department.

in summation, keep targeting my colleague (ha) and i instead of raising more awareness regarding saving our net. not like i didn’t foresee this happening to be honest (making it all about us oooh those GIRLS have NO BUSINESS involving themselves in technology). you flamers are so predictable. yawn.

did you know that i host my blog on the internet and not on a stack of old newspapers therefore, I CARE. did you know that i can reach thousands of people daily and you can’t THEREFORE 1. i care 2. caring + reaching people = please speak on our panel raymi we need you. do you want me to write a song about it or paint a diagram or create a graph to help you better grasp this simple concept?

you know the guy sitting in the middle was a staff representative for CUPE (Canadian Union of Public Employees) DOESN’T have a website (if you don’t have one today you are pretty much irrelevant in my books) and i bet you a hundred bucks you can’t remember (w/o listening to the podcast) one goddamn thing he said – i sure as hell can’t. why was that dude even there again? what? nobody knows? even less relevant than sass and i? yeah, fuck yourselves and you’re welcome.

next time host your own goddamn panel and fill it up with the same crowd, see how much progress you make.

as per the title of this post it is clearly in reference to my quote that has been misquoted numerous times so whatever, fuck it. i was trying to HELP YOU. you’re basically telling me you’re cool with this matter on your own and to not bother next time, yeah? ok no problem, back to beer bongs and porn for this guy cos that’s all i’m about, peace!

ps. way to be net neutral, f’n skeeves. next time if you see me in the flesh please bring this up like an adult instead of running home to your computer. you more than had the opportunity for it monday nite. no excuses.

me: i kinda want to say something jokey like actually we are the victims here we’ve been used and exploited and now shat upon for this cause. very fair.

Sassephine: haha that’s fair
all those comments etc are just about us
people want to prey on us because we’re easy targets
just so they can ‘say anything’ on the internet and feel important
just riding off of our popularity and controversy

in the words of the wedding singer:

look it’s me as adam sandler. thanks krista. see, that was an example of something interesting and fun. try it on sometime.

watch it in action (1.15)

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don’t forget to check out my emoraymi twitter persona, it’s where i get real. real sad.