molson meme

lifted this from ryan’s but the idea is all mine, well not really, just the idea that a ton of canadians would and could respond to these like he did and then it’ll just spread like a rash, smart guy sometimes that rye. you’ve likely seen the molson canadian spots currently in-rotation, they’ve always had consistently clever ads i thought. anyway, here’s the spiel broken down sentence-by-sentence and i will respond to each one as it does or doesn’t apply to me. at the bottom of this post i’ll have it again blank so you can just straight copy/paste it into your own blongs. (blong is the new word of the day ps. and non-canucks can play along, i mean ablong too if you’re feelin’ left oot)

There’s an unwritten code in Canada. If you live by it, chances are; You’ve left your coat on some pile, and knew it wouldn’t get stolen. this reads like pile of snow but i imagine they meant pile of coats cos who the hell would leave their coat on a pile of snow also, it brings to mind rich oakvillian/manhattan beach kids who just ditch their expensive bikes wherever the fuck and how smug it comes off to me though i think the world should be able to just leave their shit anywhere they like w/o having to worry about it being stolen. but yeah i’ve only ever left my coat in places i know it won’t get ripped off ie. people’s houses i know or the local pub where if anyone so much as considered taking my purse or coat there’d be some serious hell to pay where people are just waiting for a chance to defend your honour. ok this one gets a checkmark yes.

You’ve never made a move on your buddies girlfriend. uuuuuuhm…errrr no comment.

You know that on a road trip the strongest bladder determines the pit stops. meaning the guy who has to piss the least gets to call the shots? fuck that. however, for some reason you acquire an ability to hold it a little longer when you know you’ll be at the lake in just an hour.

You’ve kept all your hockey trophies. never had any to keep, a measly soccer trophy though.

You’ve replaced someones pint if you’ve knocked theirs over. i don’t recall being that much of a drunken retard though it’s happened to me plenty and i’ve let it slide many times but yeah canadians love to show off our generosity and our most favourite way to do it is with beer.

If your buddy’s in trouble, you’ve got his back. brosz7kowski i’m lookin’ at you and the fox n fiddle last summer.

You’ve clapped for a dancer even though she shouldn’t be a dancer. HELL YEAH THOSE ARE MY FAVES!

You’ve used a blow torch to curve your stick. no i haven’t.

You’ve used your arm as an ice-scraper yes but i like watchin’ dudes do it more.

and, you’ve grown a beard in the post season can’t say i have but if i were a guy i would.

This is our beer, Molson Canadian. according to ryan it’s american-owned now so no it’s actually not but i’ll drink it when nothing better is on tap which is rarely and again independently of ryan i’ve been on the OV wagon for awhile so close enough.

next commercial

There’s an unwritten code in Canada. If you live by it, chances are; You have a hockey scar somewhere. do liver scars count?

You’ve gone on a road trip with a car that had no business going on a road trip. not really but kinda sorta? bit of a princess over here suffice it to say.

You’re proud to know a girl who got jiggy with a pro hockey player. knew her, not proud maybe just jealous purely out of egotistical reasons. these are dude questions tell me she blasted Robert Downey Jr then i’ll give her a standing-O.

You feel kinda bad reclining your seat in an airplane. yes but only temporarily though and then i keep it reclined anyway during take-off and landing you can get away with it if it’s just slightly set back the attendant never catches it but everyone in your vicinity does and the air all around you gets really tense. how annoying the person behind me seems quantifies the level of guilt i feel over my seat being reclined.

You’ve used a cheesy pick-up line because your buddy dared you. only after the fact when it was pointless just to be annoying.

You fill your friends pint before your own. OF COURSE. we love doing this it’s almost as satisfying as picking up something that fell out of a stranger’s pocket you’re like the superhero nobody asked for. we are serious about our manners here.

You think hockey tape can fix anything. after duct tape yes but only because it’s typically the only tape left in the house. nothing says i love you like a gift wrapped with hockey tape. how much did the NHL pay molson for these spots enough with the hockey already we do do other things you know.

You’ve gotten kicked out of somewhere can’t say i personally have but my friends have so by association yes, again this is more dude-oriented. i have been secretly asked to help escort so-and-so out of the bar then gone back in after they were sent in a cab.

and, you’ve turned down a booty call in the post-season. this one makes absolutely no sense to me.

This is our beer, Molson Canadian. more like this WAS our beer brand and it used to mean something to us.

There’s an unwritten code in Canada. If you live by it, chances are; You’ve driven an hour for 19 minutes of ice time. fuck no as if.

You’ve been to a bar that starts with Mc or ends in Annigan’s. yeah like a million billion times.

You appreciate a woman who’s into sports. more like retardedly annoyed by one especially when it comes off as phony, boring get-a-long gang type or a puck slut. don’t think all those photos of me at games were specifically out of interest for the sport, check what’s in my hand.

You’ll call anyone with goalie equipment a friend. yeah yeah zzzz maybe if said friend’s lady has like a minibar and wifi and a room like kelly ripa’s in hope & faith.

You know what a J-stroke is. only because i saw this commercial i learned what that canoe stroke was called, before that i just knew how to paddle (shittily so according to fil)

And sometimes, figure skating is worth watching. SO SO SO IS!

You know the sippy cup lid isn’t as dumb as it sounds. you have to go to the ACC to learn this.

You’ve worn a canoe as a hat. fil wouldn’t let me come for the portage trip cos i’m a wimpy girl, what a dick eh. i liked ryan’s answer how the soberest takes the lead or you walk into trees hahaha.

You’ve assembled a barbeque thank you home hardware. also lawn mowers, seed spreaders and other miscellaneous ridiculous outdoor/lawn/furniture things.

and, they’re not dents, they’re goals. cutest part of the commercial you have to see it to care and yes.

This is our beer, Molson Canadian. ok fine.

*******AGAIN here it is blank******** be sure to link back to me you ingrates.

There’s an unwritten code in Canada. If you live by it, chances are; You’ve left your coat on some pile, and knew it wouldn’t get stolen.

You’ve never made a move on your buddies girlfriend.

You know that on a road trip the strongest bladder determines the pit stops.

You’ve kept all your hockey trophies.

You’ve replaced someones pint if you’ve knocked theirs over.

If your buddy’s in trouble, you’ve got his back.

You’ve clapped for a dancer even though she shouldn’t be a dancer.

You’ve used a blow torch to curve your stick.

You’ve used your arm as an ice-scraper

and, you’ve grown a beard in the post season

This is our beer, Molson Canadian.

There’s an unwritten code in Canada. If you live by it, chances are;You have a hockey scar somewhere.

You’ve gone on a road trip with a car that had no business going on a road trip.

You’re proud to know a girl who got jiggy with a pro hockey player.

You feel kinda bad reclining your seat in an airplane.

You’ve used a cheesy pick-up line because your buddy dared you.

You fill your friends pint before your own.

You think hockey tape can fix anything.

You’ve gotten kicked out of somewhere,

and, you’ve turned down a booty call in the post-season.

This is our beer, Molson Canadian.

There’s an unwritten code in Canada. If you live by it, chances are; You’ve driven an hour for 19 minutes of ice time.

You’ve been to a bar that starts with Mc or ends in Annigan’s.

You appreciate a woman who’s into sports.

You’ll call anyone with goalie equipment a friend.

You know what a J-stroke is.

And sometimes, figure skating is worth watching.

You know the sippy cup lid isn’t as dumb as it sounds.

You’ve worn a canoe as a hat.

You’ve assembled a barbeque,

and, they’re not dents, they’re goals.

This is our beer, Molson Canadian.