once i claw my way through this post and jetlag and nil sleep and head to the convention centre i am comin’ right back here though the poolgrounds of the marriott are just as sumptuous as the hotel we stayed at in miami (loew’s holla!) so maybe i can pool rat there too? we’ll see.

it’s a great little pool, sleek.

kinda wanna snag one of those pool houses. bet my mom is salivating right now. speaking of she wants me to track down some blogher she reads and is obsessed with which is like finding a needle in a stack of estrogen needles. tell her to find me mom i’m busy too.

you make friends fast down there. lots of partiers. one guy told me that people in san diego are friendlier than los angeles people. I see it. I’ve lived in LA and i didn’t find anyone to be mean to me (though I was looney tunes at the time so i didn’t notice) there but here for sure, super nice. really really like this place or maybe it’s cos i am only meeting drunk happy-go-luckys on bachelor party benders. one guy was hiccupping throughout our entire conversation hahaha.

in like a lamb, leave like a lion. I will give you something to stare at, no worries. these bottoms show butt cleave and i am v self conscious of it (and everything) plus it’s the suit that a dude referred to me as hippy in so it’s tainted but i rocked it.

how much do i belong in vegas? everyone in the hot tub laughed at me cos i said i had never been. so i am from this strange place called canada and i party but tame party. i fucked with them a bit, why not.

one guy became my buddy straight off the bat and bought me a greyhound then i told him all of my secrets ahhaha. when we were getting out of the van i said i can’t wait to get drunk and tell all of my secrets and erica says you don’t need to be drunk for that. that’s classic vj talk. it was funny. i like vacation secrets. a woman divulged to me last night a whopper from her painful past, this is quite the bonding experience and i am loving it. i told her i was proud of her progress and other platitudes, long story short, violent abusive ex husband NOT COOL. plus she is a blogger and was like, i can’t write about this, totally understood. then a dude innocently crossed our path and i go look there’s a man KILL HIM. hahaha.

want.

i can see britt wearing this. too bad i don’t steal.

on sunday this will be full of people, must rsvp. i wanted to show off my arm to these young dudes but i was too shy, and late. what if i pitched it over the side of the building hahahaha.

then i got lost cos i went up from the pool bank of elevators and then tried my room key on erica’s room and thought my keys became de-magentized like at the marriott a few weeks ago but no, idiot, it’s cos that’s not your room. then i went to the wrong hotel for the canadian party. believe it or not i DO have a very high iq or at least at one point in time i did.

love that my sink is open-concept.

slowest moving train ever i followed a guy across the tracks, two people can’t get hit at once i figured, he looks like he knows what he’s doing then i barked in his ear i’m following you! and he’s like, ??? keep forgetting canadians are a bit more, naive? then all three guys driving the train or up in the front whistled at me and i waved and they went EVEN SLOWER then i beat it out of there cos it was getting cuckoo and i was alone and late late late.

i just ordered a mimosa from the concierge, which turned into breakfast. brown toast eggs and bacon. i need fuel. my camera batteries are dead too maybe they can send those up. just kidding i’ll go find a pharmacy.

i wonder if i will sync up my cycle to 400 other women now. isn’t that bizarre how that happens? i guess we really are witches after all. mystical.

nice volcom sticker touch. you know you’re in cali when… i saw a california license plate on my way back to the hotel last night and i beamed drunkenly at it. what a dork. two men were like, we were going to catcall you but we figured we shouldn’t you look very beautiful though. thanks i said and strutted on by then bumped into gobs of young teenily-dressed drunk chicks coming out of my hotel, off to ivy. where i heard the party scene carries on? that’s the place?

i almost knocked this over and the statue of liberty one i accidentally licked EW.

here i am at the wrong hotel.

i have it all set straight now don’t worry.

poor guy haha.

the girls put out a very nice spread.

i ate a huge pile of meat smothered in green salsa, what’s that stuff called?

little hip urban lisa and i had a fabulous night i loved catching the end of the party and seeing all the buzzed bloghers, i swear to god we are this close to a kumbaya busting out.

loved this wallpaper. take advantage of settings always.

this is actually true.

i am grossed out by this here but positively loving it.

push it over!

i gatecrashed the 3M party. if you don’t rsvp all you have to do is tower over them and say I AM WHAT I SAY I AM while pressing your card into their hand. she removed some of my drink button tickets from my lei. joke’s on her i was already plastered hahaha.

then this really sweet ludacris lookalike brand new event staffing hiree was like, i have no idea what i’m supposed to do here. he was shadowing the weakest link in the staff so lisa and i told him to just, stand around and be ready to do something? he’s like so, my job is to just talk to you ladies? yeah pretty much. you’re gonna be a step-and-fetch and then sometimes they’ll give you “important” duties. the dumber guy comes over and says DUDE can you WORK before you get us BOTH fired? that was lisa and i’s cue to split. oh and all of these drinks were strong. be cautious canucks, they don’t measure here.

we became muriel’s wedding. hysterical.

this is about the time the secrets came out.

the ludacris guy stole me a lei too cos at the door he saw i was getting ripped off. the pr girl stared and stared at us and i go dude do NOT pass me that right now hahaha. i gave both leis away to lesbians at the queer party, one girl came up to me all dancey smiley to see if i was a lipstick lesbian or not (so am) but we were leaving. it took me a minute to get lisa’s lei off her chair for some reason it was wedged into the crevice of the seat. i walked up to that lesbo, lei’d her and said i have to go but i want you to get lei’d tonight and her gaggle swooned. it was an epic ray liotta moment for your hero, i assure you. i made lisa drag (ha!) me out of there before i could turn into a predator. the drag kings were beginning to look like viable candidates to me.

lobster dumplings.

rob of 3m is awesome. then i said another classic raymi thing, didja know that the monkee who wears the hat’s mom invented post it notes? no wait, it was white-out nevermind. people are like what? monkees?

oh great order, flickr.

i wonder if he was just some rando guy who works at the hotel? was he even canadian? lolz.

ew. actually licking it here. i wanted to take a bite out (i wouldn’t have swallowed) of it so everyone would see a bite mark today. thought better of it. lisa said it was likely all covered in glue anyway, good point.

i am taller, she’s on a podium.

alright these are so out of order now. i dumped that martini all over my foot.

leslie, are you having regrets in not joining me yet? kristin (who made this)’s hair is amazing. i bet she’s not expecting me to link her, remember, or care, well guess what? FULL care.

there’s a saucier version of this pic.

do not do this. grass skirts and fire pits are not your friends.

ESTROGEN JUNGLE. ohh that reminds me, on the plane i was reading about shark week and they featured a few survivor dudes and one guy’s scariest near death experience was being stalked by a jaguar FOR HOURS in the amazon. holy freaky talk about no chance for rest.

tasty foodz urrywhere.

the gays get down. solid time. i don’t know why but this photo makes me want to do the sprinkler.

what a world we live in, so progressive and gluten fancy free. back in the day you were lucky if ya got meat with your potatoes never mind allergy sensitive, is what some old grouch would say. this was jerk chicken.

you are not allowed to look prettier than me or have better makeup application. i tried to give him my lei and he was like, no you keep it hahaha. you’re terrible muriel.

this was beautiful. rolling in the deep. i am happy for adele that she’s a drag icon and i will never ever ever tire of this song. never.

quite theatrical. why don’t straight people have lip syncing performances?

oh yes come to mama.

is there another ‘mo party tonight? lisa knows everything i will ask her.

baby’s arm thick. ew sorry!

lighting is everything at these parties. lisa kept saying “well-lit” when she meant too bright, re; another party hall we walked in on prior to this. she dj’s weddings so she knows these things see i told you she knows everything.

it was pandemonium, then we danced. see the lei on her chair? she wedged it down even further than that. i gave my purple one to a nice lady at the table that we crashed. i like how i think i am a robin hood when blasted.

i’m trying to think of a joke involving the arrow and her mouth but, i guess it’s not necessary, the picture does the work for me.

i was about to be pulling a big lebowski so i left this here for safe housekeeping.

happiness prickled me here by this license plate. the little things eh. savour them.

at night the concierge looks like a nightclub!

you cannot help but be anything short of fabulous while standing there meanwhile i was creepin’ in the shadows snapping pics.

another lennon masterpiece. i touched the sides of the plastic just to see how easy it would be to nick it. not possible but makes you think you could. to think john lennon had that blank sheet in his hands and drew that stupid sketch.

stevie nick’s concerned letter to a friend.

do your duty!

check ya later frenemies!