the party continues this is my i can’t believe how incredibly wasted i am face no wait yes i can.
last dance move of the nite (morning 4am) staying alive and also an example of the raymi not inhaling that bag of chips on the floor behind me diet.
see? collecting knick knacks is barely a hair away from mental illness, and i know this because i have fifty-thousand various collected items.
does a double rock on! cancel itself out?
gill actually put on a little robe thing to clean up a broken glass.
my pillow.
ok so this is how it started and i noticed jonathan at this party, i was pointing at claire and mouthing the a-ok with hand action as well regarding her outfit and then retardface beside her is like hey thank you and points at himself and then down at his feet.
look at these people totally uninterested in my jovial banter i have absolutely no idea why.
we ignored the sex and the city charades party taking place in the kitchen urrea ( i know!) and watched this guy, i need to get it for my dad if he doesn’t already have it.
i wish cid wasn’t such a selfish christmas tree attacking monster so we could have some christmas over here too.
the comedy just writes itself. don’t worry i made fun of them a lot from across the room and even got other people in on it too. mostly we just stood and stared at them aghast at what was unfolding before us. dude with the cards i asked him who won he said he did, oh you don’t say! i kept a straight face thank god. i told brad they are probably millionaires and i am blowing some future opportunity by opening my big mouth and firing off stupid jokes five feet away from them.
i like how i make fun of people for basically similar shit i would do myself.
do you ever go to a party (probably not you are a socially-inept shy nervous internet-addict) that has nice snacks and stuff and feel like you don’t deserve any of it and have tiny guilt feelings everytime you look at the food and calculate in your head how much money was spent on a jerk like you while you are stuffing it all in your mouth when really it is because people like to entertain and impress and it actually has nothing to do with you at all but you still can’t help but feel guilty anyway?
yeah it’s true your eyes aren’t busted i’m kind of wicked.
this fence is redundant that’s what i said and no one cared but me, i care, so i took a picture.
i don’t get it you like weed or something please help this is really hard to “figure out”.
she’s laughing because i just asked if her dog was on her way to rotate this and then maybe shanghai cowgirl after that. that’s ella, she is blind and a pretty slammin’ party dog. if i had a dog i would call it party dog. no i wouldn’t i would call it frankenstein.
burn! jonathan dropped a can of diet pepsi on his toe and thus opened up a gauntlet of jokes for me all nite long about it (diet pepsi for example what the hell people drink that?), everytime he walked past i held out my beer and went WHOOPS! and pretended like it was going to slip out of my hand. (i will sue you if you steal my material ps.) he was wearing black socks and tevas cos his foot hurt so much that’s how we found out about his toe i was like whatEVER you are wearing sandals at a party then he takes off his sock and i’m all STOP IT I CAN’T BREATHE! i have a dictionary’s worth of burns i made about him all nite long i’ll share with you later.
this is the part where i tell you i have rabbits on my socks, like stuffed bunnies. i went hey want to see something stupid? to brad and busted one out and he snot-laughed basically. you can invite me to your parties if you want.
see? thanks mom!
britt has a tattoo of john lennon’s chop because she thinks she is better than me i will spare you the details of the beatles yoko ono fact fight we had it got a little heated i am basically my dad now.
that’s the drummer for goldfinger.
hey how did you know? gill has a betty boop “thing” it’s kind of scary.
basement ceiling humour.
oh thanks i would LOVE a potato!
so incredibly hung right now go away holiday parties! and my body is sore from pole-dancing and then dancing more last nite i can’t even lift my arms how pathetically out of shape i am too! i remember once i threw a rolled up piece of paper across the room and my arm was sore for like a fucking week!
i am going on a talking-at-parties hiatus.
yeah right you wish.
and did you know that i cannot do the roger rabbit and i tried like fifty times and i looked like carlton on meth? so sad because i really want to do the roger rabbit i think my life would be a lot better if i could do novelty dance moves perfectly.
later i will tell you about some other thing i think was funny that i said but probably isn’t.
i can’t direct-link to the post i want you to read so scroll down to poignant penstrokes nov. 27 2007 on radmad‘s blog.
“this is my favourite excerpt:
and maybe that is why i like talking to you i get the sense that you share a bit of my healthy discontent with the ordinary worlds in which we find ourselves
it is the attitude that nothing is ever just right we can get close – so close - but there is forever an unfinished project ahead
and this is why it is so important to be as optimistic and energetic as we are there is alot of progress to be made“
then read the comment sj left:
You damn bloggers never see the big picture.
Nothing is right?
Miscontent.
What is right?
Why must there be something to be content about?
Can’t you crazy people be content just being?
Or are all of you manic control freaks??
Very confusing lot! sj | 11.29.07 – 12:31 am | #
oh and then i morphed back into my smaller original state.
this is my impression of how i select merchandise at leon’s.
i am a levitating grasshopper how do i have a boyfriend?
here is my future prediction, you will be wasted and you will bump into someone you know and then you will eat something and then go to the bathroom and you will be five dollars poorer. ps. rad tights.
gill gets red-eye in all pictures cos she has stupid huge pretty blue eyes oh and the psychic she saw told her this (more or less), oh really and water is wet you say? nice try.
that’s brit, we are like besties now, well at least we were last nite i hope my magic hasn’t worn off her yet.
sorry i was looking for the BABESROOM it’s here? nevermind found it.
hey liam cirque du soleil called they said keep it!
such nice hair who is that retard beside her?
i swear brad is utterly incapable of having both eyes open simultaneously, that’s like not knowing how to breathe.
this thing is more and more like a potato sack everyday we might have a new item on raymistore soon.
what the hell what? it’s NOT wet it’s the crotch seam shut up!
for some reason we were rippin’er for a little while in this crappy little corner beside this boring office door.
jesus!
back tattoo is jenny, she stood me up once when i was 19, we bumped into each other at the bar and she couldn’t escape me, it was beautifully awkward and i got fully denied a free martini in front of her by the bitchy bar wench, perfect.
hahaha look how glazed over my eyes are. that’s tiffany she is like, obsessed with me and i kept bragging to fil how much she likes me, no, REALLY likes me, she REEEEALLY likes me he’s like please shut up.
marcella on the left was pretty blasted by the end of the evening and our conversation was like this ASRGRDHEPOJG*&^kbKV;OVGDVDFLVDHOI no you are hot no you’re hot no YOU you YOU!
i know sign language.
tiffany told me these were her brothers, her family, and i’m like oh ok so you are all adopted then? ahahahaha. i’m glad they didn’t hear anything of what i was saying. they all work together, hi guys!
i stuffed that pillow into gill’s purse.
now i want a candy cane.
uh oh no shoes i know what that means…
not to be a lesbian or anything but i kind of want to… oh nevermind.
yes we are dancing to home for a rest go canada! speaking of canada, yay!
on my lunchbreak from the paper mill i am yes.
fuck you peter pan i GOT THIS!
uh oh caught mid-dance move.
dudes please, i’m riverdancing in a blue strobelight do you mind?
karaoke pierre is on my facebook now creating masterpieces such as this.
they are testing the fire alarm right now and it is destroying my already destroyed from last nite brain. here is some holiday party drink tickets advice, seems like an awesome idea to use all of them, but it isn’t, but you are going to do it anyway, try not to?
i danced on (with?) a stripper pole at the NOW magazine party and i fell and scraped my shin and knee and made it look like i meant to do it and knelt down to talk to wendi, i hope whatever photo guy they hired for the nite annihiliates every single picture he took of me. someone stole my beer when i was up there, so i stole someone else’s merry christmas.
fil ruined oysters for me too, i could’ve gone my entire life happily unawares of those buggers being alive when you eat them. THANKS FIL!
we just had a shower together and fought the entire time because he was criticising my techniques like fuck off then ok pal! i was narrating everything i was doing as i was doing it “…and then while the conditioner is on my hair i take my fingers and swipe off all my mascara… and then i put soap on my hand and put my hand in my ass crack… and then i don’t wash my feet anymore, i’m over it…” you should try having a hangover shower party it’s like, not at all fun.
before that a fire alarm dude came in and i was all delerious and the room was moving and he noticed we don’t have a battery in our smoke detector i said yeah we have it somewhere and he said i had to show it to him and i knew we threw it out because it became warped from hanging out in the bathroom (steam) too long so i walked around pretending to find this battery we don’t have and i said oh i guess we must’ve lost it he said he would have to write us up i go what does that mean a ticket? like the police (didn’t say that but implied it by saying ticket) and he laughed at me and i closed the door feeling like the biggest tool ever like the time i asked the paramedics if they ever shot anyone before and they’re like uh we save lives, oh right, then why do you wear SWAT team suits?
true story.
oh yeah remind me to go on a rant about jian ghomeshi later, dude like, hates me, sorry zero sense of humour!
+++
this is from my hag fag henry
Happy Holidays
You loverly lady! Here‘s a deal for you I made me-self.
everyone had these elaborate books that they brought from canada or bought in england, we were told we would need two books, which actually turned into three, one tiny guy for walking around with, a bigger more proper journal and then a scrapbook for putting all your receipts and various findings in. i didn’t want to spend more money so i just used my sketchbook and thus, sloppiness ensues.
there were a handful of drawings in the beginning i couldn’t stand to tear out so i made it look like i painted them in england hahha.
uug drawing feet sucks.
what a liar i didn’t even bother to match the ink colour.
my mom was a bit clingy oh mom.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMO!
right after i had my drastic hair change i found this flyer.
now-defunct thanks 9/11!
they took my big white fluffy towel i brought from home and i never got it back fuck!
by dude who cut my hair. i stood him up. not intentionally i just forgot.
in hyde park we each had to make up an activity for everyone to do, this funny girl sara made a bunch of these dares or whatever you call them, she’s a great drawer (is that a word?) i’m going to try and find her on facebook. i remember our teacher did a dare he had to roll down a hill and scream like he was on fire, hilarious guy.
knightsbridge was our tube stop, that’s where harrod’s is. swank.
oh god another message from shogo leave me alone i feel bad enough already!
i’ll post the second half later on, there’s a german assignment i thiefed off the wall by mick jagger’s son, james! he went to st. edward’s and also confetti from the wedding on our campus that george harrison was at.
i think i am lactose-intolerant, on our way into the suburbs i felt mega-ass queasy and delicate, fil said ok that’s enough lets go to your doctor i said something’s not right but it isn’t necessarily flu or something, i do think it’s food-related. anyway i am finally fucking better but i am going to avoid all dairy just to be safe what the hell am i going to eat now milk/cheese is a part of every favourite thing i love to put in my mouth i will kill myself if i have to turn vegan.
fun post to come and then i have to enter the world of felt.
ok i wanted to put my theory in action so i put some ice cream in my espresso and now there is a thunderstorm in my stomach and i think there might be a violent explosion in my pants-urrea shortly.
