when i got home my hair looked like ruby sue’s from national lampoon’s christmas vacation also a family burn against me by my brother since the beginning of time.
holy nest hair thank you wind!
sunday nite when we pulled into the underground parking garage there was a van sort of blocking our spot and made it impossible to back in as fil normally does so we drove in head on? anyway no biggie (btw the dude who parks his jag beside us is the shortest littlest guy ever and he is terrible at parking we are impressed by how bad he is at parking, is it a short thing? is it a gay thing? is it a short and gay thing? (yes he is gay and looks like a ventriloquist’s puppet version of frasier i think, he is also very nice and chirpy when he sees us and i fantasize about being invited over for dinner some day so i can play with his teeny tiny dogs) and can we make up a new stereotype about short gay men not being able to park?)
moving on.
this van blocking our spot was lined up with one of the doors leading into the building/elevator area cos two young dudes are moving in (we are also amazed when young people move in cos it seems like only people who were in the movie cocoon live here) and as we are getting out of the car an older woman (not a fossil but old enough to be bitter and crabby) whisks by the two guys and their father and presses the elevator button and i arrive behind her just as she gets in turns around looking at me as the door is slowly closing, making no attempt to stop the door from closing in my face, pressing the OPEN DOOR button not even a fucking facial expression or phony apologetic shoulder shrug so i punch my arm into the elevator and then my body and physically stop the door from closing and it pops back open and ONLY THEN does she come back to life like she just wasn’t totally being passive aggressive toward me, like she didn’t see us getting out of the car, and didn’t feel my fucking presence on the back of her fucking heels all the way to the elevator FUCK! everyone saw her do it too, i wanted to turn to those guys and say something but it woulda been pointless as they’re dudes and this special dish of prejudice is reserved for me and me alone.
like hey lady i hate riding in elevators with strangers too but when there are witnesses you’re supposed to pretend you’re not a huge fucking asshole, or did you not read that part in the building newsletter last week?
ps. i put that picture of ruby sue in one of my facebook albums and tagged it as my brother, i’ll tell you how he reacts later.
spread this flyer around even though there is a typo in it.
so i kept bragging about my new clothes high over gchat to fil and he said he had to get something new too, we went to winners and he got a really cute cardigan (i found it) and a pair of shoes, and i found this cardi for 10 bucks!
i’ll probably wear it tonite.
this is what is happening outside in the park right now, too bad there isn’t a hill around for miles. this cross country skiing joke is brought to you by the letters F and U.
i think it’s the same lady who does tai chi.
40 bones yo!
i am jealous.
everytime we go to winners fil comes away with shoes ok not everytime but the majority of the times we go he does, it’s because he tries on a million shirts, sweaters, and hoodies and is unhappy with every single one, despite a lot of them looking pretty good on him, he doesn’t understand that you don’t have to LOVE said item in the store, you can bring it home and add it to your wardrobe rotation and then fall in love with it. he doesn’t get it and most importantly he doesn’t get how much fucking insane he drives me when he is trying to decide on an outfit before we go out and is like i have nothing to wear and all i can do is picture the fifty cardigans he turned down, turns down, EVERY TIME WE GO OUT SHOPPING SPECIFICALLY FOR A CARDIGAN FOR HIM! and so, the needing to get something madness overtakes him and he buys a pair of shoes instead, but still has “nothing” to wear. why can’t he just be like a girl, like me, and buy it all up and then decide later. i could go on more about this.
i’m going to have to do another get rid of shit i don’t wear pillage. i remember before that “clothing” shelf it was just a shoe rack that i piled everything on top of. give me some furniture and i will build a mountain on top of it no problem. i also have five other drawers packed with stuff.
taking a picture of your own ass w/o a mirror is practically impossible.
most depressing salad ever. gabby’s is officially boycotted forever. the salmon was good but everything else was disgusting, the dressing i don’t know what it was trying to be but i know what it tasted like, grapefruit fish barf!
we go there for novelty’s sake typically but last nite there was just something missing and all ’twas revealed was merely a fog of sad.
at least that salad made me lose two lbs overnight.
oh and the bg image right now was an accident i meant it to be the profile picture in my sidebar at the top but plunked it in the wrong part of my template and now i look more of an egomaniac than i normally do.
so it’s recess time in the park for all the little retards who attend some school around the corner somewhere and i tune them all out everyday mostly all the noise they make is just high-pitched screeches only dogs can make sense of but just now i tuned in for a second and realised the kids were going:
they had been doing it for ten minutes before i clued in so i decided to pay more attention and they kept on singing (FOR TEN MINUTES MORE) so i peeked up from the couch and they are even fly girl dancing (these kids are like 5?)
i felt like this was a new low for me, in a towel with wet hair on the couch listening to c+c music factory in the annex sung by spoiled little yuppie kids, i mean, they could at least learn the rest of the song and now i can’t get their shitty little voices out of my head.
i am not coming home w/o a new dress or new jeans or a new something.
oh wait, a new low. i am crying from laughter right now can’t breathe. watch the video at the bottom of this post.
so this is the funniest blog in all of canada officially (again). hahahahaha sorry that in itself is wicked funny to me right now.
i am going on a shopping adventure later, fil wants me to wait for him i said no fucking way i need to get out of this apartment before i give myself bangs or something, i am going to buy a new dress for my party or new jeans, or likely both THAT’S HOW CRAZY I FEEL RIGHT NOW!
i think they were actually pot of gold chocolates.
i like when i write emo stuff cos i get a thousand emails from people telling me how miserable they are and how i am like joan of arc to them or something here is an email:
BRITNEY SPEARS SHAVED OFF ALL HER HAIR IN A TATTOO PARLOR. fil was like?? why are you telling me this now?? FINE he will feel really stupid when he sees the pictures of her.
i was sad cos i thought that i would never ever be able to learn how to use a computer.
The problem with communists is they act like bossy know-it-alls in a country where nobody has any power and information is banned. the girl i am talking about in the post is a cashier at whole foods.
so we didn’t go to fil’s work party because “i was sick”
here are a list of nationalities that i am not but people have once asked if i am in no particular order:
fil should be thanking me for breaking his camera because now he is a famous band photographer.
it’s a minfuck to be on the highway and see a backwards truck in front of you.
i love it when dudes are talking computers and they look at me like i don’t know anything then i join in on the conversation and correct everything they said 50/50 they die of boners on the spot or they get extremely defensive and competitive and repeat everything i said but re-word it then i’m like we are arguing the same side of the fence the only difference is you will never get a girlfriend bye.
ok i made an event for my art party this wednesday so join it and say you’ll attend if you intend to attend. it took over an hour to put together and invite everyone and i’m thinking the entire time this is pure bullshit more than half of these people won’t even attend i’m solely making this event to remind 4 people to come hahaha.
