goodbye pete.

you can still see his stupid face.

once it dried i could still make out his beady eyes so i just added some yellow hopefully it’s enough.

then as i grabbed the tom cruise portrait to paint over i slammed my shin really hard into the coffee table, a scientology sign?

it’s going to be a nasty bruise.

peace out brah!

i swirled the paint around like mad and got all the sharpie mixed up pretty good so the first globs of paint were enough.

i just made an instructional video on how to shave your eyebrows but i looked super fat face in it so i’ll have to redo it.

we had the most retarded pathetic time managing to get a parking spot on college around rush hour, in britt’s boat of a ride and all the snow and everyone feeling seasick hung.

hangover loser party of 3 please.

we bumped into bruce mcdonald on our way in and i made it really awkward and went HI BRUCE and he was holding his kid, we had a little chat, then parted ways.

coconut thai curry soup something delicious.

2 orders of calamari because we are fucking pigs.

thai basil chicken.

pad thai.

then britt went to get smokes cos she could not shut up about them and we went to the brew store and went to visit at gill’s to watch survivor and be as obnoxious as possible while she got ready for her winterlicious dinner at the supper club THAT WE WERE NOT INVITED TO.

who was voted off survivor last nite?

about to give myself bangs video: after a looooooooong time w/o bangs, i was feeling a little cuckoo in doing this.

the final moment video: here i am just before the second thoughts kick in and i turn off the camera to keep my little freak-out private.

the reaction video: i dig ‘em but not right away.

+++

You look like Cat Power a little bit now.

Ive included my artistic masterpiece for you to compare.

That is all,
Doug

i had bangs before i even knew who she was years ago
but yes the likeness is there
maybe she will be my friend now

+++

now you look like cat power ….. have fun with that one.

oh … that’s supposed to be a compliment , sort of i think.

Cal
x.

yep thats what the kids are saying right now
too bad a cat could play better guitar than i can
ha cat, cat power
im smart

i like this picture because it makes me look famous

and here i am looking at how famous i think i look

they are already driving me insane but i’m glad i did it.

looking at this before picture with my face heavily made up and in the sun like that i am a little saddened. still no regrets. when i was snipping i was thinking i am so crazy right now and i was shaking, it was a thrill. i made a video too.

i am going to give myself bangs right now!

well, it’s true.

the brittinator.

i took a million pictures of my sticky tac doll i gifted to fraser, i bet he didn’t even take it home.

fuck i was loaded last nite thanks everyone for buying me wine.

look at the bare walls, sigh.

here i am trying to do a family portrait with cid, i set the timer and grabbed him and well, look. fyi. sneak attacks during feeding time does not work for portrait posing.

this one is really funny to me right now cos of cid no not because of me i know that i am an idiot.

hi do you want to hang out with me?

finally the sun has moved away from wherever it was making all the snow fluorescent electric white blasting into my eyes and the very being of my soul, i have been hardcore squinting ever since i got up and my forehead is all scrunched up i don’t think it will ever go back to normal again.

black and white is a good look for me.

also, more good news, i think my hearing has worsened, i noticed the last two nites out i have been yelling when i talk because i can’t fucking hear myself talk! can that happen when you’re loaded, i mean, i know people talk louder when they drink, but can you go deaf from lots of drinking? i do compulsively pick my ears, maybe it’s cos of that? wow i can’t believe people consider me to be a role model hahaha.

this is me: hey guys i shit my pants last nite and fell down some stairs and this is you: HERE IS AN AWARD.

HAHAHAHHAHA

oh fuck i have to eat something before i turn into grey gardens.

i look like frankenstein.

nathalie’s cell.

look that fraser idiot came to my art closing party. oh i sold four more paintings too at basement bargain prices!

he bought me a whiskey like i needed it after a million glasses of wine ungh my head.

this is my face because you didn’t come.

that’s right i am fucking awesome, that’s sjm.

look at the weather i’m awesome cos i have parties when it is the apocalypse of snowing outside.

superjudge loves fil so much he bought him.

i’m telling him to be careful cos his spooge might make the acrylic bleed into the marker and holy shit i am starting to look like a witchy yoko ono.

radmad got this guy.

i thought hok was 20 and i also thought how i am making his dreams come true by talking to him (cos 20 year olds dream to talk to me? shut up it was the wine) then he says he will be 38 soon and i couldn’t believe it. all you asians and black dudes have it made, assholes.

brad and i have the same watch except my battery died a long time ago.

sober nite for gill.

more here not really though.

thanks everyone for coming and battling that snow sorry i didn’t go out enough for you to throw a snowball at me, this guy doesn’t really smoke darts anymore you hosers!

thanks doods!

before i went out yesterday.

when i got home my hair looked like ruby sue’s from national lampoon’s christmas vacation also a family burn against me by my brother since the beginning of time.

holy nest hair thank you wind!

sunday nite when we pulled into the underground parking garage there was a van sort of blocking our spot and made it impossible to back in as fil normally does so we drove in head on? anyway no biggie (btw the dude who parks his jag beside us is the shortest littlest guy ever and he is terrible at parking we are impressed by how bad he is at parking, is it a short thing? is it a gay thing? is it a short and gay thing? (yes he is gay and looks like a ventriloquist’s puppet version of frasier i think, he is also very nice and chirpy when he sees us and i fantasize about being invited over for dinner some day so i can play with his teeny tiny dogs) and can we make up a new stereotype about short gay men not being able to park?)

moving on.

this van blocking our spot was lined up with one of the doors leading into the building/elevator area cos two young dudes are moving in (we are also amazed when young people move in cos it seems like only people who were in the movie cocoon live here) and as we are getting out of the car an older woman (not a fossil but old enough to be bitter and crabby) whisks by the two guys and their father and presses the elevator button and i arrive behind her just as she gets in turns around looking at me as the door is slowly closing, making no attempt to stop the door from closing in my face, pressing the OPEN DOOR button not even a fucking facial expression or phony apologetic shoulder shrug so i punch my arm into the elevator and then my body and physically stop the door from closing and it pops back open and ONLY THEN does she come back to life like she just wasn’t totally being passive aggressive toward me, like she didn’t see us getting out of the car, and didn’t feel my fucking presence on the back of her fucking heels all the way to the elevator FUCK! everyone saw her do it too, i wanted to turn to those guys and say something but it woulda been pointless as they’re dudes and this special dish of prejudice is reserved for me and me alone.

like hey lady i hate riding in elevators with strangers too but when there are witnesses you’re supposed to pretend you’re not a huge fucking asshole, or did you not read that part in the building newsletter last week?

ps. i put that picture of ruby sue in one of my facebook albums and tagged it as my brother, i’ll tell you how he reacts later.

OMFG!