that’s a vagina i got for fil.

oh yeah i also arm wrestled everyone last nite (well not everyone just like 8 people) and lost every time. TO GIRLS WITH SKINNIER ARMS THAN ME EVEN! AND SKINNIER WAISTS TOO. i am a total weakling i bet my niece could even beat me up and she’s 9 and skinnier than olive oil.

now that i have bangs i have noticed that every person in the universe has them too, rather, every girl at the hanky panky dildo wine party we went to last nite at jen‘s had bangs. also, bangs is all i think about right now (seriously if you see me sitting alone not talking (for some reason?) i am thinking about my bangs) too and stop telling me to cut them shorter, i will in time, what am i some person you just tell to do stuff and then they do it cos you told them to? honestly people.

anyway, fil was the ONLY DUDE there in a room FULL of chicks, (requisite photog. dude) this other gay guy chickened out of coming hahahaha and to be fair he/we were told there would be a few guys milling around.

too much estrogen for you “philogyinst“?

Philogynist

\Phi*log”y*nist\, n. [See Philogyny.] A lover or friend of women; one who esteems woman as the higher type of humanity; — opposed to misogynist.

i’ll put up more pictures later but guess what items i picked out, you can visit hankypanky.ca to browse their catalogue.

i was really impressed at how professional the demonstration was yet laid back, it was also nice that jen’s dog was humping my leg the entire time and my arm from the fairy whatever dust i sprinkled on it. we also learned that there are many creams and body lotions you cannot put on or in your vagina.

rachel and i go way back to shitty drum and bass nites my ex used to drag me to ungh i’m like hi i’m raymi she’s like hi i know you. haha.

eventually all the bitches were like WE WANT COCK LETS GO OUT! so my fantasy dance party was abruptly cut short.

we need to redecorate.

fil put in ear plugs at one point to “be funny” and jen went oh WAHAEWAHWHAAH MY VAGINAAAA! and danced all around him like a lunatic. i almost pissed myself. her husband went out to see a double header film last nite to avoid the party. she also told me a hilarious story i’ll have to wait and see if she ok’s it first before blabbing it here, it involves a black eye and a busted tooth and a bridal shower.

i asked if rocky was a pomeranian, he is half pom, half something unbeknownst, mystery party dog.

i would not shut up about how much henna and rachel look alike and everyone else was all no no no, excuse me, yes they do!

we went to unit where it takes ten minutes to figure out how to flush their toilets and you have a wicked panic attack in the process knowing there are a ton of people lined up outside the door and your creation just won’t flush!

yeah i might give myself another haircut later today.

goodbye pete.

you can still see his stupid face.

once it dried i could still make out his beady eyes so i just added some yellow hopefully it’s enough.

then as i grabbed the tom cruise portrait to paint over i slammed my shin really hard into the coffee table, a scientology sign?

it’s going to be a nasty bruise.

peace out brah!

i swirled the paint around like mad and got all the sharpie mixed up pretty good so the first globs of paint were enough.

i just made an instructional video on how to shave your eyebrows but i looked super fat face in it so i’ll have to redo it.

we had the most retarded pathetic time managing to get a parking spot on college around rush hour, in britt’s boat of a ride and all the snow and everyone feeling seasick hung.

hangover loser party of 3 please.

we bumped into bruce mcdonald on our way in and i made it really awkward and went HI BRUCE and he was holding his kid, we had a little chat, then parted ways.

coconut thai curry soup something delicious.

2 orders of calamari because we are fucking pigs.

thai basil chicken.

pad thai.

then britt went to get smokes cos she could not shut up about them and we went to the brew store and went to visit at gill’s to watch survivor and be as obnoxious as possible while she got ready for her winterlicious dinner at the supper club THAT WE WERE NOT INVITED TO.

who was voted off survivor last nite?

about to give myself bangs video: after a looooooooong time w/o bangs, i was feeling a little cuckoo in doing this.

the final moment video: here i am just before the second thoughts kick in and i turn off the camera to keep my little freak-out private.

the reaction video: i dig ‘em but not right away.

+++

You look like Cat Power a little bit now.

Ive included my artistic masterpiece for you to compare.

That is all,
Doug

i had bangs before i even knew who she was years ago
but yes the likeness is there
maybe she will be my friend now

+++

now you look like cat power ….. have fun with that one.

oh … that’s supposed to be a compliment , sort of i think.

Cal
x.

yep thats what the kids are saying right now
too bad a cat could play better guitar than i can
ha cat, cat power
im smart

i like this picture because it makes me look famous

and here i am looking at how famous i think i look

they are already driving me insane but i’m glad i did it.

looking at this before picture with my face heavily made up and in the sun like that i am a little saddened. still no regrets. when i was snipping i was thinking i am so crazy right now and i was shaking, it was a thrill. i made a video too.

i am going to give myself bangs right now!

well, it’s true.

the brittinator.

i took a million pictures of my sticky tac doll i gifted to fraser, i bet he didn’t even take it home.

fuck i was loaded last nite thanks everyone for buying me wine.

look at the bare walls, sigh.

here i am trying to do a family portrait with cid, i set the timer and grabbed him and well, look. fyi. sneak attacks during feeding time does not work for portrait posing.

this one is really funny to me right now cos of cid no not because of me i know that i am an idiot.

hi do you want to hang out with me?

finally the sun has moved away from wherever it was making all the snow fluorescent electric white blasting into my eyes and the very being of my soul, i have been hardcore squinting ever since i got up and my forehead is all scrunched up i don’t think it will ever go back to normal again.

black and white is a good look for me.

also, more good news, i think my hearing has worsened, i noticed the last two nites out i have been yelling when i talk because i can’t fucking hear myself talk! can that happen when you’re loaded, i mean, i know people talk louder when they drink, but can you go deaf from lots of drinking? i do compulsively pick my ears, maybe it’s cos of that? wow i can’t believe people consider me to be a role model hahaha.

this is me: hey guys i shit my pants last nite and fell down some stairs and this is you: HERE IS AN AWARD.

HAHAHAHHAHA

oh fuck i have to eat something before i turn into grey gardens.

i look like frankenstein.

nathalie’s cell.

look that fraser idiot came to my art closing party. oh i sold four more paintings too at basement bargain prices!

he bought me a whiskey like i needed it after a million glasses of wine ungh my head.

this is my face because you didn’t come.

that’s right i am fucking awesome, that’s sjm.

look at the weather i’m awesome cos i have parties when it is the apocalypse of snowing outside.

superjudge loves fil so much he bought him.

i’m telling him to be careful cos his spooge might make the acrylic bleed into the marker and holy shit i am starting to look like a witchy yoko ono.

radmad got this guy.

i thought hok was 20 and i also thought how i am making his dreams come true by talking to him (cos 20 year olds dream to talk to me? shut up it was the wine) then he says he will be 38 soon and i couldn’t believe it. all you asians and black dudes have it made, assholes.

brad and i have the same watch except my battery died a long time ago.

sober nite for gill.

more here not really though.

thanks everyone for coming and battling that snow sorry i didn’t go out enough for you to throw a snowball at me, this guy doesn’t really smoke darts anymore you hosers!

thanks doods!