people who smoke on their lunch breaks at work, or anyone really who smokes out in public in the day where i can see them, look ridiculous and stupid and make me feel really dirty. i’ve always felt this way. like have some decency and go hide in a back alleyway or something you look disgusting and embarrassing especially all hunched over in the cold in nothing but your white work shirt, yeah your life sucks you hate your job, don’t bring me down about it too buddy.

it makes me physically cringe because all i can think about is how this person fantasized about sneaking away from their desk for thirty minutes prior to exploding out the door, full-blown obsessed over the thought, and even gathered a few others to make it into a big activity and so there they all stand on the pavement with sour looks on their faces cos they are never satisfied and never will be and this cigarette they spent all morning dreaming about is halfway done and they have to collect themselves and go back upstairs to reading my blog and leaving me fat comments telling me to get a real job like them, i dunno, what’s worse is the lone smokers who cross their arms over their chests and stare into the middle-nothing distance and one arm is bent up in the air like so and they look like they are trying to just disappear into the ground or just be vaporised, just take me now god. those guys kill me the most.

maybe i consider things too much, i just know that during the day smoking makes you feel like that’s what you’re going to be doing every day for the rest of your life and then you get a head rush and feel nappy.

and then there are the smokers who are purely bitter because they started smoking cos they thought it would make them cool, and it didn’t, and now they’re stuck with this habit. the only people who look cool when they smoke are the people who were cool to begin with and smoking is just an extension of that and the others are just dumb enough to fall into it and say i want me some of that, yeah.

another irritating thing is the division of smokers and non-smokers, from the perspective of the smoker, i’ll talk about it later.

i will be 25 at the end of march, i feel really old, because of chicks like elizabeth who name-drop being young every two minutes i have developed a complex about it. sigh.

oh one of the barenaked ladies emailed me at least and invited me out to karaoke last nite but i didn’t check my email cos i am a www junky and have to force myself little breaks here and there, so turns out when i met him at the ‘shoe for the 60th anniversary party when i thought wendi blew it for us, she didn’t. success!

the pube comes to tea.

+++

suburban white people birthday dinner party

then there was some bragging about the ability to make people levitate.

i said ok fine i believe you you don’t have to do this i don’t want someone to get hurt.

they were quite determined.

aw maybe next time doods!

oh sophie <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

she likes me the best because i can make my voice high-pitched munchkin-like and she thinks i am fil’s mom.

we are going back to the ‘burbs today to look at fil’s sister’s and fiancee’s new house and then to dinner with aimee at her new house. who is psyched about family day tomorrow, most hilarious holiday name ever! ONTARIO ONTARIO ONTARIO you’re awesome.

merkley???: whats the name of your flakey cbc contact?
HEY RAYMI!

me: hi
]um

merkley???: thats a name?

me: ***********

merkley???: oh
haha
they guessed it was him when i said that you said he was lazy

me: HA
u said i said that!
in what context

merkley???: i said i had a friend who had been approached by the show a long time ago but that the dude never really followed through
anyway — i got them wasted

me: and then when u told me about it, it sparked rage so i emailed him
and then second time around no dice
oh great he will get fired now

merkley???: yeah i mentioned things to that affect

me: well did it inspire your guy to do a piece on me at least

merkley???: you already have a guy
my guy would be stepping on toes

me: well my guy is never going to fucking do it
can u tell him i want your guy

merkley???: but basically — i just wanted to say HAHA HA HA I GOT ON THE HOUR BEFORE YOU!!!

me: do you want me to kill myself
can i put this on my blog
to shame my guy

merkley???: maybe you can just cut your arm a bit
yeah you can post it
except for this next part

me: i am this century’s most unrecognized under appreciated artiste

merkley???: ************************

me: oh **********
well dont they do that to butter you up anyway

merkley???: i also name dropped matt good
you know — canadian steeze

me: oh god
this is depressing me
what did they say when u talked about me i need to know

merkley???: and the guy said he might come back and shoot me again for another show or segment called “portraits of canadians” or “canadian portraits” or some shit

me: u played the canadian card!
omg imposter

merkley???: i am canadian you know
i travel on a canadian passport

me: well it doesnt count cos you never lived here really
you are more american

merkley???: anyway == neither of them had heard of you and i told them that i know more about their town than they do

me: good
fucking cbc

merkley???: but apparently ****** has a rep for being lazy

me: im going to move to the country and live in a hen house
well yeah
i told him my time is almost up
to get on it
im just going to send him harassing emails
i just did
i just went
“well…..”
ok i have to go get ready

this is how cool i am

i just listened to a voicemail my dad left me, i gave my niece a bunch of my r.l. stine books, he said on page five i circled the word blur. yes, in homage to my favouritest band as a tweenager, outside of nirvana.

i can’t believe i have never visited their website before. wow, it’s terrible.

last nite was christie‘s kitschy v-day party.

chloe and fil were the lucky recipients of a mug with a long curly pube stuck to the inside brim of it and they had a couple swigs each ’til they discovered it.

i also forced chloe to wear my campers because her running shoes were too nerdy for me, i also want to sell them, size 8.5 baby, best offer.

then we discovered a girl wearing the same shoes i made chloe leave at our place hahaha.

i was basically right beside the speakers so the sound is way distorted but i caught the same song ’23’ at v fest (blonde redhead for the unhip johnny come latelies).

just will you look at her dance moves and outfit! when i posted pictures of her the first go around i said her look will so be copied, yes, BY ME! just waiting on this f’ing sweater to shrink some more oh and magically turn into a little asian waif.

oh man i just discovered the archives feature in my flickr account see you in five hours.

guess what guys! i got my first bangs’s zits! (bang zits? bangs’ zit? bangs zits? ungh!)

ALRIGHT!

the zits don’t belong to the bangs… they are caused by them.

raymi | Edit comment Delete comment | Homepage | 02.15.08 – 6:37 pm | #

my new favourite show is return to fat camp (on mtv) because every fat kid on the show is a totally manipulative spoiled psychotic baby and that is obviously the reason why they are fat slobs to begin with. there’s one girl who always wears sunglasses because she is always crying and the black girl requisite shit starter in her bunk started a rumour that she does cocaine and that’s why she wears sunglasses and then the camp bossman took her into his office and called her mom and said her daughter is bullying this one girl and the mom says she doesn’t believe it and he passes the phone to the girl and she puts on this sucky fake crybaby act saying MOM THERE IS THIS ONE GIRL WHO ALWAYS WEARS SUNGLASSES AND OTHER GIRLS SAID SHE DOES COCAINE AND WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAH (fucking liar you started it!) and passes the phone back to the dude and he is like well i think she can turn it all around and cut to next scene.

the black girl hates the sunglasses girl because they are both the exact same size and it is obvious she wants to be friends with sunglasses girl and is fascinated by her attempt at fashion and “coolness” but prefers to gather up a bunch of followers to team up against the sunglasses girl.

also, i really hate the sunglasses chick cos she whines out of doing everything and like, dude, it’s fat camp, you’re there to get thin and you can’t get thin if you are crying all the time and not doing simple things like a water fitness test!

i also feel extremely skinny when i watch this show.

there is another girl who isn’t even fat and her mom makes fat comments about her all the time and the fat girls are like why are you here? ok she’s not skinny skinny but she’s healthy, she’s 141 and 5’2.

and then there is a boy who is totes gay (not out of the closet yet) and a mama’s boy and homesick and when he shows up a counselor goes you’re going to have a good time the ratio of girls to guys is 3 to 1. ok fine but this kid isn’t into girls and if he was i think he’d be into babes? i also like that he smuggled in a cellphone and talks to himself about having to wean himself off of calling home every nite and when it gets taken away he goes mental and can only think about phone privileges and says “the phones” a lot.

all the boys blame their obesity on their parents divorces too.

i also like that this show is an hour long and i like that there are tons of kids at the camp not interesting enough to be the main kids followed around by cameras. i also want to be a counselor at the camp and put every single kid in their place, mainly the bullies.

maybe the vodka is to blame for how awesome i found this show to be.

oh yeah the black girl somehow gave sunglasses girl lice and all of her bows and they were thrown out and one counsellor had to drive into town and replace them.

i was telling elizabeth about this show and she said fourfour already did a review about it and now i am going to read it and try and get this guy to be my gchat friend because every shitty television show he adores i too love.

inmybedmagazine needs submissions.

this is what a 30 dollar MEDIUM pizza looks like from magic oven:

elizabeth says this is a yuppie pizza.

it was so over the top delicious i don’t even want to advertise for the place cos it is so expensive but anyway, holy shit man.

artichoke hearts, garlic spinach, organic all beef salami (amazing!) prosciutto, bocconcini, organic mozzarella on whole wheat came to 27.50 but you get the idea. there is even a pizza for 108 dollars! insane!

this is what a 30 dollar bottle of vodka looks like:

i was going to get fil a cake from baskin robbins but their website was so unhelpful and useless and then i remembered i don’t even like sweet things and then we’ll end up having to get dinner anyway and i was up by the lcbo on dupont and didn’t feel like walking down to bloor blah bla blah my life is so hard. i left the building with bailey’s and cake in my head. i was also planning to get a trophy engraved saying HERE IS YOUR AWARD and give it to him everytime he brags about something stupid, but that is a waste of money for 2 seconds of totally played-out funny. i told him about the idea instead.

+++

dearest raymi,

- m

vancouver hates toronto because they WANT to be the centre of the universe and we clearly are more than they are or ever will be, deal with it!

that pin-up chick xmas card is seska.