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June 8, 2009

oakvegas the beautiful.

dudes are so into construction. is there construction porn? or is this basically it?

fil was sad he didn’t have his camera with him. no way man phewf, my attention span window for this dump closed after about ten minutes.

good thing i have learned how to amuse myself.

can we please leave?

oh look, me again.

gorgeous oasis.

spectacular view.

product placement.

PRODUCT PLACEMENT I SAID! have i earned a free case of bud light lime yet or what holy crap do you know how many people we’ve turned so far? tons.

whoops. funny cos it was probably like that all weekend long locked inside.

i stepped on megan fox’s head.

haha.



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i am a mature dude.

sass got up some of saturday’s goodies.

don’t forget about tonite’s town hall at the gladstone – 7pm. sass and i will be making a little speech. it appears that we are “winning” the internet war right now so that is good but still, awareness of this ish needs to be spread i don’t feel like it will ever fully go away. i think it would be a huge embarrassment for canada if it were to come to fruition – others already think our nation having “free” healthcare is scary socialist propaganda enough, i don’t understand a country that supports same sex marriage can have such a backward and possible stringent internet law. i can only imagine going back in time when i first started this blog and say this two-tiered thing was a-foot. how daunting and pointless trying to make a name for myself on the internet would have been. what about all the other youngins out there who can’t sing, or dance, or act, or basketball whatever, but can write, and really well? how many designers could blast website circles around us now and have more than surpassed any skill us fossils could hope to figure out in a month cos they grew up with it (www) from day one – why limit them and their future?

that is basically what i plan to say but with more stuttering, sweating, swearing and stammering – i call it the 4 S’s of public speaking.

also in a nutshell, i think when this issue is discussed, it needs to be dumbed way the hell down so that any non-internet guy can understand it straight off the bat. they shouldn’t have to be explained it multiple times over email (uh like me) and then still be somewhat confused, otherwise they will adopt a let the nerds handle it approach. not cool.



Vomments (9)
June 7, 2009

us? oh well you know, just partied over at tyler‘s house with all his brood for an amazing smoked brisket bbq hot tub pool booze jam. not at all a big deal, really.

the sun back there was fantastic. i guilted fil into finally getting into his shorts, said he is going to feel pretty stupid come monday looking at these photos.

think i’m gonna have to cave and get my own heart frames.

just some highlights will share the rest a little later. oh man this week got me, but a great week it was. thanks again tyler clan!

after team bbq we went home to change and headed over to alicia‘s for some nite time patio hang – these are some of her photos. i am in no shape capable of proceeding any further going through my own and “dealing” with them right now. that last sentence was impossible to churn out.

on our way out the door the musical stylings of tom petty delayed us a few. muchly enjoyed the 80s tunes all nite long actually.

brosz7kowski seriously tried to leave with my hat, i had to explain why that was not a cool thing. that would be like leaving with some child’s binky or whatever. NOT HAPPENING. i don’t care how cold you are be prepared next time. ps thanks for the blythe picture book (i felt like such a dick but so what that hat is a major part of my repertoire, it cannot be budged upon).

number one in case you didn’t hear about it.

no more ghetto vodka, k fil?

funny at parties how everyone likes to cram in confined spaces, is that some stupid womb metaphor or something?

REUNITED AND IT FEEEEEELS SO GOOD.

my hair was a little f’d from the pool bun.

autographs in the lobby you guuuuys.

whatever it was i’m sure it was important.

i gave alicia one of my miniature twined packages and she almost cried. um i swear you were the one who said they wanted to borrow my shrooms smock, or maybe that was britt. wear it with short shorts and belt it.

props. never not funny.

if you like to be a conversation hog, party tip, sit at the head of all tables.

candles A+.



Vomments (15)
June 6, 2009

last weekend skidfanie came over for a visit.

holding on for dear life – not at all awkward. i have since decided to go visit the skids very soon otherwise shoot my head off, i need a city break big time.

oh haillo there.

i’ve been playing the crap out of these jams for a week solid.

did an ant write this?

is that me and fil? should i ask more questions?

6 months ago what? phewf i just did the math i was worried there for a sec I AM GETTING OLDER AND OLDER AND OLDER NOOOOOOOO.

we hung on the balcony for a bit til the sun went away then it scary stormed then that infamous rainbow came out and the sky cleared up.

even the biggest asshole of a cat ever will be terrified of thunder, true colours cid?

how many local blogs did you read about this rainbow on? hahah.

see you soon’er!

then shit got fancy. i put apricots in a salad. first i infused the tomatoes with some good quality olive oil then added the apricots and swooshed them around for a few then added cayenne and mesclun mix. try it. you could also do apricots, kale, and rice you friggin’ hippies.

we had a medley of tiny potatoes kickin’ around so i boiled ‘em and made a teeny dill side dish aren’t i a good woman. we have some light mayo from our tuna/turkey/chicken salad concoction habit of last week. fil was dubious about the mayo but i was right, just a little bit glues it all together throw the dill on and crack the pepper. done. i am kind of a magician like that.

fil gets the easy part. coming up with meat sides is the hardest part and takes longer.

then some party guests arrived for a little birthday gathering. ugh we need to do something about all the wires in here they drive me insane.

ms. JD herself (jack daniels).

i love mark so much he can come over anytime. eyes wide shut was on and we snarked our way through it as well as collateral damage. poor tom cruise. at one point in the movie he was talking to a hooker and mark exclaims he’s probably standing on some books or something ahahahahhaa. britt also saw that movie for the first time with her parents AWKWARD and they walked out of the movie theatre so me and my family win we made it the whole way through then drove home in complete silence haha. my ancient review of eyes wide shut.

w-a-s-t-e-d. see?

bahahaha. oh i have so many stupid laughs.

one more for the road who am i kidding this never ends. what the fuck are you, a fawn?



Vomments (14)
June 5, 2009

curve balls that is, which is what we done did last nite at the ROM. other than the junos gala dinner and like, weddings, ’twas my first real ball experience. here it goes…

that’s a spray-painted model, her name is tiffany (hi!) and good for her v pro. i gave her my card and when i got home there was already an email waiting. fil got a better picture too bad i ruined it, she offered for me to be in it and step up there.

hello lips, where are you? i JUST applied lipstick before walkin’ in there too, ugh.

haaaaaalladay! pitt was losing his mind with every text fil sent him. sorry!

so the scene last nite was like a billion blue jay players, past and present, and even better, baseball wives! surreal.

kinda like batman oh no biggie just a, you know, BEAR.

green and purple must be very in, same colours used at the junos thing.

i took so many pictures of the chairs, sass says: uggghhh those are my dream chairs Philippe Starck ghost chairs well that’s great, the effect pays off as i walked into them a hundred times cos you cannot SEE them.

guy behind that palm is a retired-jays, no idea any of their names sorry but you can spot them out easy as they’re built like football players. crazy. it felt like being in jerry maguire. one winked at me too after i gave the table behind us the thumbs up (HAHA I KNOW brutal) when every jay-allum stood up to be clapped for.

the reverse-smug was palpable for me in-wearing probably the least expensive dress in the room and killing it. so funny, the dripping in money gowns going by.

dinky was on the clock. also can i brag this, $1k plate dinner? insane.

hahaha i dunno why that’s funny to me. that mural is terrible, distract from it with these purple dots.

fil hung his jacket on my chair and it annoyed me cos then no one could check me out.

i had no idea randy bachman would be sitting at our table, that’s his chair on the right mere seconds before he plants his ass in it. i called my dad to share the news, no answer. then my brother, i had to scream whisper into the phone to be stealth about it.

i txted lia to tell her i was at a ball (she loves to blog about them) and that kids were singing the hills theme song and in no way did i translate it properly over text cos she replied 4 times WHAT WHY CHILDREN WHY ARE THEIR CHLDREN THERE? hahah. this is what i meant!

then i scrutinized kevin frankish to see if he was about to wig out. i even approached him afterward to tell him i too suffer from anxiety and how does he deal cos i often am hindered by it (can’t go out to such-and-such event) he says he has a great support team and he doesn’t take chill pills. amazing.

see there’s that i just met someone important face pose again, ugh. the other city tv chick cheersed him during our short chat (code for do you need to be interrupted?) and he continued talking to me so i wasn’t that creepy. win.

the bach lands! gibson donated a guitar and lessons from randy w catered lunch then del at our table added a case of wine (worth 1k) and tina threw in an extra guitar – it went for $13k! there was a trip worth 5 grand that went for only 3, people love their guitars. oh and guess who won the guitar auction…

fil you owe me one for insisting you hunt down the winner. oh the auctioneer was crazy impressive too.

game face on. this was in poor taste of me i know. sorry once in a lifetime chance much? i didn’t say one word to him at least.

blue jays behind us stacked these up, even funnier stacked. god what is my problem.

setting up goody bag station.

tina’s necklace i would kill her for and fantastic cleave. (gimme the link to the site from which it came).

beef tenderloin i inhaled.

loved the table settings. A+.

bag switch. oh yeah i sat in something wet when i sat down to talk to kevin then had to hike up my dress to the blowdryer in front of all these totally rich snooty women. that was an interesting out of body/mind experience – be cool be cool hahaha sigh and everyone ignored me like the plague not one sympathetic eye contact glance. i felt like exclaiming IT WASN’T MY FAULT.

priceless experience (thank you tina!). all his stories segueing into each song and how they came to be. he wanted one jam to be akin to paperback writer but was told his hook was way too similar then he came up with something new and that song became takin’ care of business. we learned about no sugar tonight as well and that other song where he stutters, cos his brother stuttered and it was a joke to humiliate him and then an eventual bet? that he could make it hit the charts, and it did! and that song is you ain’t seen nothing yet. crazy! can you believe i actually paid attention to all of this?

oh god i had multiple rhubarb crumbles, the table beside ours cleared out so we scooped all their desserts.

tina favoured the lime ice (gelato?).

holy relax tan face. oh yeah fil bid on a $200 jersey and won!

time to go. we may or may not have took a bottle of wine with us. p’shh who doesn’t? that’s del, official wine supplier for the vancouver olympics (i *think* we’re gonna be there for them).

i considered taking that but like, what would i do with it?

some guy was live-broadcast interviewing all the jays he came up to me and kevin (ha me and kev we are pals now) and was like no one was paying attention i think and i said not true something like all the people you think not paying attention ARE and he nodded like i blew his mind. oh god way more profound-sounding last nite hopefully.

i didn’t even clue in to the open bar til the very end. smart. i like how i said monday no more party for the rest of the week. idiot. you should never say something like that ever. that’s scotch whiskey, i hate scotch, didn’t finish it. i do not understand the enjoyment of turpentine-tasting crap, is it a dude thing like the one who orders the most foul-flavoured booze wins the biggest man prize? don’t even get me started on women who pretend they enjoy cigars. capital DOUCHE.

that would be my am i in trouble playing dumb face “oh i didn’t know.” laserbeam eyes enhance it.

no biggie! they told me to put it on i was too embarrassed to, one girl was shaking her head at me when i said is it ok to? meanwhile all the dudes were like YEAAAAAAAAH DO IT. i didn’t.

someone forgot this i have no intention of eating it tina so let me know i’ll bring it out with me today, one is enough for us.

fig nEWWWWWWtons.

two things i will never learn to do but wish i would, play guitar and knit.

wuh-oh time to go home when this starts happening.

excuse me, did someone order the demure?

aaaaaand just as i was texting alicia about the WWF belt to tell joe look who should walk on, the dude who bid on it. so funny.

he was very excited. last name, downs? (according to pitt).

last photo before i passed out. oh i just remembered i caught up on the last episode of rock of love bus when fil fell asleep (he does not share in my fondness of garbage reality television) so now i just have to watch the reunion, don’t tell me anything about it.

you can check oot fil’s photos from last nite, all proper ones of every face you want to see. bye friends!

omg brutal! when tina and i went out after appetizers for some air and it was still light out these losers had just showed up. meaning they waited a good two or so hours! i’da spat on that motherfucker, swearing at him was totally called for. you never owe a thing to anyone, ever, no matter what, let alone some puny nerdy sports fan stalking around a charity event to heckle you on the way to your car. wait, fil says they had been there the entire time and had loads of junk to be signed, not even fans just opportunistic dicks.



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Vomments (7)
June 4, 2009

met the sharpies for starving artist menu (make a reservation, between 4-6 sunday-wednesday, ten bucks for a drink and your limited choice of foods) at the drake yesterday afternoon.

best hamburger evs. EVS.

amazing poutine.

seriously ridiculous.

my bike seat was chafing me all the way down wtf, shorts, tights?

kenny saunters up outta nowhere, just cruisin’.

treehouse hangin’

lights from their wedding. aw.

oh yeah jen came by to collect her painting. poor girl was locked out and riddled with asthma.

nice view.

bodhi’s gotten bigger.

oh hai.

her paws kill me.

remember in that video with sean when i say my face is trying to leave my head? from this angle this is what i’m talking about see by my eyebrow/temple wtf?

maybe i’ve just overdone it with the marijuana.

YAAAAAAAAAWN party’s over way to go stefan.

then samir (blasted) later on wrote on my facebook that my account must be hacked! thinking it was his own so i wake up with an email from fil saying what’s this about your account being hacked? i was still signed in on his laptop.

fascinating update you guys!

oh guess what did you know this two-tiered internet shit is goin’ on? saveournet.ca will tell you all about it. in a nutshell, basically, if it happens, this blog will pretty much bite the dust cos i ain’t got the benjamins like coke or nike etc. i’m speaking on this panel june 8 with sass at the gladstone 7pm. register to reserve a seat (open baaaaaaaaar) olivia chow is also speaking along with hella more experienced folk. me, i’m just goin’ i suppose to cry on the podium about how i will have to get a real job if this thing actually happens, everyone will be affected by it. epicly uncool.



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check out all his other vids. hat tip samerin via finchmeister.

UPDATE: ugh awesome as in NOT, guy’s a sex offender. update again: jesus!



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