goin’ catwalk.

party store post halloween, weird vibe. ‘specially from the above it teens working there. i think we did a good job in irritating each and every one of them.

girls nite out attire. i’d be game for that. elton john on the juke til dawn.

i could easily handle a room with the walls adorned entirely in curled ribbons.

yuh-awn. just look in the mirror, guy.

into that wig. daisy of love? i’d be good for one ridiculous marie antoinette wig for sure.

almost went there.

too masqueradey. too phantom. too geeky, essentially. grabbed a couple feather face pieces, one black, one white.

COOL! HUGE!!!! WILD! YES NOW THIS IS A PARTY!

too superhero.

albino eyes.

director, ms. britt.

angel pie.

no discounts. don’t worry it won’t “be right” for “the costume” so we’ll have to return it sunday.

oh, hi.

just a dollar. it’s like they knew i was coming.

man, if it wasn’t for the sun, somedays i’d just. you know? you do.

it’s so easy to fall in love.

guys i have a vision ok so it’s like this: i emerge from this stump. yeah and then?

then, when i figure out how to turn around in it…

then you make it rain leaves all around me.

this is what i’ve been dreaming about. crazy girl on film, long dress, lying down (so lazy) slow motion emo running through the tall dead grass. oh and balloons. oh yes. there will be balloons. (hence party store)

OMG THIS IS SO GOING ON FLICKR.

UFO landing. sorry, signs.

fuh-licker.

recommend a new fly purse please. cheapo, el.

stupid astors. bladder is the last word you want to see when yer poundin’ brews.

a beautiful old man moment is captured. he was intensely considering something. saw it from miles.

the rest of the day’s goings-on (way too many s apostrophy thingers in a row there) can be found here.

check the globe&mail tomorrow. toronto section. goes up online too.

happy birthday mom love you! XOXOXOXO

Hey Raymi/Lauren.

Take care, eh.

so it went well i felt. hopefully all the times i said OFF THE RECORD is respected. this saturday or next it should run. (globe&mail)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feFKalYdeSk

here is what i have learned this week. shockingly, so many women, married, with kids, without, men too, boyfriends, girlfriends, so many of you feel trapped in relationships you’re unhappy in. unions you’ve stuck it out years for. YEARS. aside from the piles of comments (which are splendid thank you very much) coming in i have been receiving a gauntlet of emails, truly personal painful emails. long ones that take me ages to get through, like entire afternoons. not all sad, though the ones that stand out most are the sad of course.

but i don’t know what the answer is. for you. i just know that being unhappy for the sake of someone else is probably the stupidest life choice ever. i am not saying that is what i did but from my pedestal it’s easy to be like oh no, that’s what other people do. fall into.

look, i am likely the most annoying insufferable partner you can take on. i will smother the shit out of you. that’s my game plan, basically, and i have to KNOW EVERYTHING. i am super jealous and possessive. lazy. irritating. opinionated. but that’s not the point. the point is i am also fucking wonderful. i am a treasure. endearing. i will give you all of my attention and i will worship you. i make US my world. i do not self-serve. i will distract you from your pain and i will buy you stupid presents you do not need.

however, when someone stops being blown away by you, that’s when you have to leave. when the reasons why someone fell in love with you get choked (unintentionally) into submission that’s when you must leave.

i was told once that there were things about me that could not be replaced, or found in someone else. this is true but is it worth sticking it out with me because i say things in weird cute voices sometimes? (YES)(hahhaa)

my fear is that i morph men into fucked up pieces of shit like me, just the bad parts. apparently men aren’t jealous prior to me. pfft. well. i dunno.

when you’re with someone who is equally attractive as you, maybe even more so depending which way you look at them, or seeing them in action, how women react to them – it fucks you up. when you have some insecurities to begin with, shit gets crazy. one, you are constantly at battle with hovering women. then you are at battle with friends discussing said hovering women. then you are at battle internally over it and then you are also fielding shit from strangers on the internet. everyone tells you how you should be handling jealousy, ugh. look that’s all fine and good if the person i shouldn’t be jealous of was actually giving me some validation. if they came alive for me and not just for everybody else in our world.

in summation. i do not know. we are all feeling the same things on this planet. isolation, controlled, stuck, unhappy. it’s boggling that this is the way of the world and humans. that it degenerates into this. birth, courtship, marriage, unhappiness, death.

somewhat of a sidenote, periodically i get emailed from a recently broken up soul telling me that they were not allowed to read my blog because their past other half would not allow it and then it became “a thing” and basically i broke them up. that’s pretty ridiculous.

the globe and mail is coming by tomorrow to, not exploit but, “the idea is a new yorker mag talk of town piece” profile me. i better watch my mouth.

first question asked, “now, is this a publicity stunt?”

it’s been thrown around more than once. that astounds me. who would benefit from that, namely, what could be benefited from a fake breakup?

more than five years later. i took this photo of myself on my 21st birthday that liz expertly, uniquely recreated in painting-form. anyway aside from the no bangs (that i frequently pine for) and the blond, pretty much the same yeah?

i don’t know why it’s funny to me it just is. when i go to the bathroom i stand beside it and try to pose like that and it’s impossible, my brain tries to tell my head where to look and then i feel really smart. here’s the photo, was used for the cover of dear raymi, that jamie designed.

sigh. youth.

here’s something from someone smarter and wiser than i.

First I want to state I am an old guy. Am not on your site to look at your tittys, though they are nice, there are a lot of that all over the internets. You are an entertaining writer. I enjoy your humor.

Have a great day………………………

how much did sesame street pay google for this one?

sweet furniture score!

thanks cousin lisa xoxo.

how do you follow a post like that? uh normalcy normalcy! bah.

for the billionth time, weed helps.

canned wine.

felt completely mentally exhausted yesterday, put through the ringer. lamest statement ever, second half of that last sentence. cliché pile. lets invite the entire town to the trainwreck.

and so halloween evening i was treated to a taste of class, burlington style. on our way to bar 2 this car of four attempted to drag race us at some lights, cool. minors, assumed, why else would you be riding around halloween nite in a car if you were old enough to get into a bar? you wouldn’t be is the case, you’d be partying. anyway, as we were going on ahead to park safely making passage for the other car to speed away one (putrid looking angry nerd) guy in the back screamed at dave NICE WIG YOU FUCKING LOSER. dave thinks he said faggot. i heard loser. no matter, crazy rage shakes took hold and i said can we do something about this right fucking now!? so we peeled out of the parking lot in pursuit for awhile but they were gone. SO so mad. who does that? that guy deserves a curb-stomping and i’m certain if he lips off strangers on the regular, someday he shall be gifted by one. it was the way he said it, the look on his face, so certain, so disgusting. ugh. plus acne and bad hair, and he wasn’t riding shotgun so we know the pecking order of his social circle. desperation is not a hot look.

act two. in bar, meet some pals, there’s a back private party going on we get in on, realise we’re pretty plastered but oh my fuck they do it differently here. everyone is wrecked, i’m kinda diggin’ on it but also a little taken aback. ps. my nickname is toronto by the by haha. we go to the pool table near the back just to, do something? we get to playing, then it’s my go (stripes) and there’s a table tucked in the corner with some surly folk haulin’ drinks. one thing here is people are ready to throw down at the drop of a hat, are actually looking to do so. this ain’t your hipster pretend you don’t see one another scene which you don’t realise you’re fond of (though while immersed in it, hugely HUGELY annoying) until you hit “downtown” burlington. this scene’s number one priority is YES i saw you and i saw that you saw that i saw you, now what the fuck do you want to do about it? everyone in costume adds an extra element of bizarro. ps. for the record i LOVE that “i know that you know that i know…” saying. typing it is very rewarding. you feel like you invented comedy.

anyway, my shot is up and it’s one of those have to shove the pool cue way out in to someone’s personal space shots. this girl, or shrek as i might say, (not dressed as, just unfortunately shaped as such) in a terrible platinum blond bob wig is sitting on a high chair seat watching my uncomfortable situation. there’s also an empty seat right beside her but she’s choosing purposely to stay put, jack and coke in-hand, exactly in my way. i give this scenario two second’s worth of patience then i purposely flub the shot, put cue down on the table and commence knocking all the balls into their pockets by hand. shrek blechs out at me AW SOMEONE GOT UPSET. i ignore, continue over to my pint and other table casually, gingerly, librarianly. shrek says YOU COULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME TO MOVE. i make my way around the pool table to get the rest of the balls in, put my arms in the air and say I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS (in my most effective you are so beneath me tone of voice, it’s a pretty good one ask my brother or anyone who knows me) in normal people maturity manners land, it is. you just move and carry on with your own shit. not here. then some other unintelligible shit was uttered in my direction, the air got a little tense. i was still pissed about the piece of shit from the car prior to this wonderful scene plus way too blasted to deal so we chugged then split once the proper amount of standing there making everyone as uncomfortable as possible time was allocated.

if you choose the table by the pool table intended for pool sharks, you are not allowed to be annoyed if someone playing pool gets in your way a little. that’s kind of the fucking rule and you are no exception, aside from being exceptionally white trash. why does crazy follow me, do i bring it on myself? am i deluded? i used to defend myself in saying it’s cos you live in a city and go out a lot, the probability of more and more shitty scenarios is higher and likelier but now i’m beginning to wonder. i never initiate aggression with others is what i’m saying. is it my vibe, my look? what the hell.

oh and on my way in one genius girl says to me ARE YOU A NERD!? (librarian glasses) i was just like where am i what the fuck, how do you react to all of this? this change. everything. i told her um, yes? she was dressed as amy winehouse and holy moly what a mouth, what an incredibly loud belligerent wailing mouthpiece on’er. i kind of admired her.

maybe a little anti-climactic but i’m sure it’s only a little while til the next class-act reveals themselves.

in other news, the local mediterranean establishment continues to offer up the most colourful and amusing of drunk people watching spots whence hangover dining.

also don’t forget tonight to nominate my blog for the 2009 weblog awards if you want to help motivate me to continue on the coarse of steering this shit show ship. i took it last year for best diarrheaist. i feel like the last year i did a pretty good run of things, yeah? pretty on par and consistent. also hello, how could you say no to this little elf?

that’s what greasy write-off day hair looks like. this picture is so fucking stupid i am making it my new blogger profile picture. i might even put it up there where the welcoming i am a pretty girl with an internet website sidebar photo is supposed to be. WELCOME MUCH. i title this image the weed grinch: comes over, gets high, eats all your candy, talks mad shit, makes you laugh so hard you die then steals all your dvds.

(ps. needing a volunteer makeup artist to paint this mug saturday for a video shoot. come be a part of something spectacular)

here are the categories you can nominate my blog in.

Q: You periodically post pictures of yourself in the nude. I’m guessing this attracts a certain audience that visits for this purpose and this purpose alone. If you stopped posting these pix, how many regular visitors to you suspect you’d lose?

A: i rarely post nudes my hits have not declined, my blog is more than my tits, granted a lot of retards read my blog but i see it my blog is for the retarded, it’s like a learning manual for life or an AA meeting that never ends.

source here too. apparently my phonin’ it in wasn’t as sneaky as had initially thought.

oh and perfect look what starts up all over again, you best be nominating me, starting tomorrow. thank you.