The history-making day arrived where i learn the trade secrets of an empire, put them to practise, steal them, blog them, and take a cake for the road.
My admiration for Carol and Michael is swoonily apparent when we get together, they are theatre-incarnate, such a pair (like my nana and papa, inseparable) the Carole/Michael show is entertainment at its finest I am happy to be on board.
the whipping cream (slowly) goes in after the cream cheese, which is fun to watch fold around and around as the texture takes on a gloopier form. i am clumsy and often don’t trust myself, had a few hand mangled by blender visions to get over and shut out in order to pro it up in front of these ladies.
can you see the fear in my eyes? hahaha. somehow the apron made me look more naked so now i have the idea for my own raymi nudist cooking show, episode one, bacon frying ahahhaa. ouch.
carole expertly doled out many helpful tips along the way, to turn the speed from 1 to 2 when adding ingredients, stopping to spatula the cream cheese batter from the sides of the bowl and beaters. it’s a process, not a long one, but still you mustn’t rush it.
can you picture this woman in her basement making cakes as a hobby, and now look. not only did she create for herself a sensational success of a cheesecake company, she also started this city on carrot cake. careful when you browse the cake selections though because i tweeted a pic/link to the site yesterday and someone said they spent 5 minutes drooling.
michael had two costume changes for his dish presentations (the first he taught the class was how to make his rapini, oh so garlicky yum i inhaled a plate the second we got there, yesterday was a full busy one) so i think we have uncovered who the real diva is in this duo. i am adding vanilla and almond extract i believe here. potent stuff.
make yourself useful any way you can. it was a fun relaxed atmosphere, like cooking with your mom, joking around and when too many cooks in the kitchen, take a step back or two this is the carole show here, i am shadowing her.
my hair matches the batter, that’s what i asked for yesterday at the salon, please match my hair to cheesecake as i will be making one immediately after this appointment i might need a caption filler to save my ass on a few pics in case i run out of jokes thank you.
add the eggs. always crack them in a separate container (like on tv)(or in real life if you aren’t an idiot) cos you never know what’s inside that shell, not to mention, shell cakes never really caught on.
pouring the batter in. this is the almond cheesecake by the way, you missed the part when i poured in the crushed fine almonds as slowly as possible carole’s like, you can go a bit faster raymi. i got tempo-paranoia, too fast too slow everyone is watching infomercial live ack!
and get michael to bring you a pitcher of water while he announces in a shakespearean accent a pitcher of wat-ur my lady. haha so funny. the water in the square pan heats up in the oven and i guess that’s the extra secret magic behind making cheesecakes right.
and sweating by the ovens. speaking of shadows, colleague has himself one, she helped take these shots (thanks lindsay!) a much welcome addition to team crazy raymi colleague. also, she’s carole’s granddaughter, a very cool chick.
this was fun, fun to watch, beautiful actually, seeing liz expertly spin the turntable (where’s a dj when you need to make fun of one?) as she spreads the decadent rich chocolate icing with that implement doo-hicky thing i didn’t hear what it was called cos a surgeon was too busy complimenting my writing, intellect, and teeth, and hair too hahh. when i meet blog readers/lurkers, some of them really like to discuss how i write, that i write, it makes me blush. i can’t describe the process, well maybe one day i will, but not now grasshopper it’s brownie time.
i guess you make a divot gradually in the centre because next you will be adding caramal (omg mmmmm) and it will need a place to go lest it overflow? though, (stop rhyming raymi!) you will be stacking little brownie squares all around the top so the caramel will be safely confined within the brownie castle, and then my stomach.
don’t you just want to dump that chocolate right all over it once you’re done with the building? one would think that’s the way to do it, the end result of course being totally sloppy ugtastical. this is why you don’t do that, you ladle it on. AH HA it’s a ladle! i’m so smart.
that’s little lindsay. rules. and bill the dental surgeon, lovely people. see michael’s costume change? i suggested to carole having a michael figurine commissioned, their cafe regulars would so totally buy one. i’ll have a napolitana, a nicoise salad and a michael please, that’s all.
liz is so sweet and soft spoken where do all these nice people come from!!? i may or may not have left with my own chocolate squeeze bottle (such a great idea). ok no i didn’t.
a communal piece goes around (we all had our own forks haha yeah and the communal fork too can you imagine) to sample. it was a very oprah winfrey moment. i love when they would only give like 5 samples out to the audience and you could see vicious looks from the ones who weren’t chosen.
too hot he said, back in it goes. oh that was fun. i left with an almond cake, (uhh totally that almond one that i made i swear! hahah) for my dad for daddy’s day this sunday (dad i have an event in the day so we’ll be coming later in the day sorry!)
huge thanks to Carole’s Cheesecake for this (and for my birthday cakes too). i love cooking. i love eating. i love photographing, blogging and talking about food. it is no secret. it is my dream to have my own cooking show someday. oh and by the way their groupon deal sold through the roof like we knew it would, Carole’s back baby and she never left. next time i am shooting all her framed media glory from over the years adorning the resto and loos, great big hairdos in her past haha.
XOXOX your pal raymi.
ps. my title is french for let them eat cake i’m sure you’re familiar with this infamous proclamation.
wednesday we are here. i am a bonehead and forgot abut my hair appt tomorrow despite it being printed on the fridge. totally have zero time in my sched to resched it today but had to and they could barely squeeze me in too. made it happen thank you thank you thank you roots are out of control, tired of having to wear hair down even though it looks chic i will be wanting to put that messy sweaty hot mane up for sure later in the week.
my aunt gave me that jewelry box for xmas and now that i am amassing jewelry thanks to lance romance i lifted it from the shelf at my dad’s. more glitz mooooore!
teacher said he liked brock. i guess in our brood you have no choice but to get along but when you actually do, the good times roll. sabrina had a dentist dude friend in attendance gratefully for teacher. that sounds like a joke set-up, a dentist and a teacher and a rabbi… anyway teacher liked dentist too.
i ate that. holy free f–ing advertising much. i’m sorry but my romantic balcony view is BK how long til YOU would break? it was closed so the next evil kiddy corner to it was a land of a slightly different garbage.
i didn’t bring my empties afterall like i joked. i read they aren’t accepting them there, is that to ward off hobos in precious libville? hope not. can i bring empties here?
it looked like we were just parking lot hanging so i made them pose before the tent. drove by this spot yesterday and the absence of party tent is blatant. party sentimental.
sabrina was impressed by how i had teacher trained, i don’t (i do), it’s just here’s my camera, do the thing and we can get the heck outta here and tart dranking. i’m not exactly doing rocket science here right. debatable. i think if you’re gonna throw down with 8 chicks you know what to do pretty much immediately.
going back in time waiting for the cab i was having outfit doubts cos of the chill and the getting psyched out but i went for it and look how much fun i had. always push it girls don’t give in to the shy monster.
eat your heart out celine dion. titanic, my heart will go on ok ok not everyone is as clever as me omg i’m getting lost in my flickr trying to find something i already forget what thank god for multiple browsers.
took this in vancouver, mg and k-os backstage at ubc . metric was also on the bill. k-os asked if i was in the band. we later got chatty on myspace, i was with my ex at the time. it’s amazing sometimes the people you can reach, and inspire. k os said a photo of me was inspiring to him. anyway this was in april 2005. mg and i were tight then.
i was a witness at city hall with jamie for a lesbo wedding. i signed it. proud day. these two girls came to canada just for this, both new yorkers i think. jamie, jamie jamie where have you been? need to reconnect.
my brother loved kurt cobain. i took it further, i BECAME HIM. AHAHHAHSHS see how depressed and emo teen angst yet young i am. apparently i was a cholo too. my mom is feeding a horse and i am like i do not give ^$*^& i’m hardcore son.
i love jeremy the bear. ok i have to give up this post is taking me long to find the photo i want. see you later. hope you enjoyed this distraction brought to you by the letters A, D, H, and D. sayonara!
casie nicked one of my feather earrings when i snuck up behind them on the other side of the beer boutique party fence so we were cyndi lauper. someone snarked to me oh didn’t you just like tweet those feather earrings, isn’t there another one? yeah and it’s on casie on the other side of the party. it let me know that she reads at least.
many ladies came up and gushed over these shorts and i happily shared where they could get themselves their own pair see not everyone is harsh. sam (say hi to meika for me!) of notable relation said she was amazed by how in person i am nothing like raymi the minx, this alleged meanie. people love to character assassinate me. if you have to sit around talking and trashing me, it’s your character that sucks sorry to say.
i had no clue what casie would be wearing. it goes like this HI. HI! bla bla etc so busy omg i know so am i ugh agh k so still going? yeah? ok what are you wearing? i dunno. yeah me either k see u there and then we’re both in short shorts. voila.
the shorts contained two cups of beer on one piss. so they’re good for festival season. i don’t even know if i had an entire beer, my cup kept being drank by someone, teacher probably or whomever they all looked the same. kept disappearing, reappearing. i liked the muskoka beer.
why did we go to the lcbo to buy our beer before the hours were over? because i bet the beer boutique wouldn’t sell to us hahahahahh can you imagine after bringing down the house drunken wedding reception styles and then walking up all sweaty to a clerk, uh hi yeah, i’ll take a 12 of lakeport please (something trashy to go with the joke). no sale.
i didn’t do under eyeliner lat night cos i was afraid of the allergy rain, which never came despite that crazy wind, and i looked prettier with less makeup so i think i am going to retire one of the two mascaras i glob on. raymisemo isn’t dead yet though so don’t worry pets.
brock is our baby that we have been grooming, for what who knows but he better remember his grandmas and not eff up his future/life/career you hear that?
oh casie. showed her my blog stats yesterday and she was like woooooah. we are going to paris and nicole this shit now son. i’m getting creepy nasty emails from people trying to cause a war between us. keep trying.
i was not very hungry last night, i’m stressed, yesterday was a bad day but i triumphed. not until our late night mcdonald’s stop. why is it when i eat fast food i get skinnay? new meal plan!
there’s a major stupid feud in the blogto thread about this beer boutique launch that turned all ontario booze monopoly when hey guys, it’s just a new location in libertyf-ing-village be grateful and shut up. i am psyched about this store.
tell me you don’t want these publicity stunt artists showin’ up all over your turf. raymi@raymitheminx.com – or talk to casie im going to let her start handling this shit meow.
it’s neat to have two pics of one moment. why is everyone falling into themselves like lazy potatoes? i’m doing a crash posing course stat. it keeps coming up.
all losers. ha i just remembered something funny i said last night about starting my blog, like, i’m funny in real life and fun and whatever so that’s great to this room full of losers i’m hanging around impressing, so maybe i should start a blog to impress MORE losers.
did i post this already or no it’s the other angle from that other one omg who cares just look at my ab def peeking out. that’s like after 4000 burgers somehow.
running out of time to get your own shirt cas. also get your intern to make u team raymi/team casie shirts. like that won’t blow up in my face and make me cry bwahahaa.
we made another quad blogger mirror video that is SO long. i will pour another cup of coffee and studiously take it in and decide whether or not it is suitable for public consumption.
i have a bruise on my right arm, the flower tat arm but looks like my left in this reverse photo, anyway, the bruise is from hopping a fence. because i am a ninja. a burger king ninja.
practise shots setting up here. anther thing people do in photos is all hunch over like we’re hobbits in bilbo baggin’s house like, come on guys, full height please we don’t need perspectives like gandalf is fuckin showing up. we watched mitch hedburg last night too and i decided to emphasize my humour more which only showcases my writing and higher-intellectual abilities. the thing rob said about me to teacher was, “it’s her writing man” is what makes raymi special. i’m sorry i let ego and wanting to be prettier than i was intelligent get in the way, but now here we are.
that is all for now. have a grand tuesday, maybe bump into you this week.
don’t forget i’ll be baking cakes with Carole’s Cheesecake this wednesday evening i have been looking forward to this for awhile. join us! then i’ll be dropping in unfashionably late to 99 sudbury for the nxne shit show kick off jam. a truly overwhelming week. but fun. thursday we get free converse shoes! and saturday i get to tag along with casie to that bhd gifting lounge i am FLOORED. greedy greedy greedy susan. i have zero idea what i am going to be doing for actual music though all the parties are getting up in my grill aghh email tell me what bands to see: raymitheminx@gmail.com bye-o.
i was referenced in the gridto last week. kate asked me to advise on this internet Q, second one down:
I’m an active tweeter and blogger. I’m always on Facebook and LinkedIn, and I post life updates multiple times a day. This isn’t a problem for my employer or even my recent ex, but Twitter came up at a family dinner recently, and I made the mistake of defending it. Now my mom and stepdad are reading my posts and acting differently towards me. I’m not going to take anything down or defend myself, but I don’t like that they’re making me feel like I’ve done something wrong.—V.C.
Being mean-ish to you about something that is none of their business is sucky, but it’s also understandable that your parents are weirded out that there are versions of you other than the one who comes over for dinner. It’s probably disconcerting for them to find this anti–treasure trove of your ideas and experiences, and to confront you in an adult context. But isn’t that how you felt when you found their porn that time?
Lauren White, who exhaustively documents her relationships, her nights out and her boobies as Raymi the Minx, says that she initially thought it was a mistake to give her mom the URL to her blog. “She would not stop commenting. Sometimes she’d call in tears and I’d scream and hang up.” In other words, it’s definitely your parents’ problem, not yours, but it’s going to be awkward for everybody.
Your problem is what psychiatrist Carl Jung (and, uh, lots of other dudes) called “individuation.” This is the process of becoming yourself through “differentiation” (blogging about the stuff that you think and feel, not what your mom, boss or boyfriend wants you to think and feel) and “integration” (giving negative-10 shits what any of them think because, as Drake, Toronto’s most individuated rapper, says, “Oh yeah, that’s right, I’m doing me”).
We live half online now, and it’s real. It’s totally cool that you want your family to respect and take your internet-self seriously. (Or, you could do like me and pretend really hard that your family hasn’t found Google yet.) White says, “If it really bothers you and changes how you write—it will—then ask them not to read it, [or] put them on limited Facebook profiles.” Individuation means you’re no longer constructing a near-replica of your parents’ lives; it means “doing me.” That has got to be a fucked-up concept for post-fortysomethings to understand, which is actually kind of cute and sad. Anyway, you’re not doing anything wrong and they’ll probably relax. If they won’t acknowledge the online-you, defer to Raymi the Minx and “kindly tell them to go fuck themselves.”
and, because this is the internet and i am an opportunistical content hog (i’m personally sending scouts out to shows as media for me this week, using my empire to gain media access for their art. sharin’ the wealth) here is the orig Q and my full weigh-in. if you have copies of this issue please get me a pile thank you i missed the boat. AGAIN.
Heya,
I received a question from a reader for my advice column in the Grid, who is worried because her online life has been discovered (wasn’t “hidden”, but wasn’t known about before) by her family. They aren’t totally scandalized but they’re definitely uncomfortable, judgmental, etc. I would love to use you as my “guest expert” for the column, if you’re up for it. Let me know? It doesn’t take very long; I just email the question and you weigh in however you want. Kelly Cutrone was my expert this week, here it is; http://www.thegridto.com/life/advice/work-hard-and-stfu/
thanks!
Kate
Totally!
Awesome! Here it is:
Dear Kate: Ugg, I have a nauseating situation on my hands. Just like every other 28 year old disgruntled and sometimes extremely happy woman with too much time on her hands, I have unconsciously created something of an online presence for myself. I have an active Twitter account and a blog I update at least every day, and Facebook and LinkedIn. No Formspring yet, though. This is not a problem for my employer, who knows all about it (she also has Twitter!) or my recent ex, but at a family dinner Twitter came up and I made the mistake of defending it as though I knew what I was talking about, and now my dad, my brothers, my aunts have all been checking me out online and acting differently toward me. I’m not going to take anything down or even defend myself, but I don’t like that they’ve seen another side of me and are making me feel like I’ve done something wrong. How should i deal?
If you’re able to send me back your thoughts/feelings today, that would be awesome. Please answer however you like: fun, serious, whatever.
xx
Gaha poor girl kay thinking now will get back soon
DRUMROLL PLEASE…
You went to the trouble of defending your much loved online alter-ego life to your family, so stick to it. You seem heavily invested in carving an online realm and likely know that you don’t exist (intellectually) in this modern day without one. Blogs are your IN, why censor yourself to save aunt Myrtle from a heart attack if it’s already working for you and your employer is on board? Money trumps family when you become a grown-up, IMO but your family is your number one cheering section and while at first it’s not easy to handle the idea of your dad seeing your (my) tits on the internet, deal with it pops cos you’re walking in on MY dream here. It’s no easy feat to stand out on the internet now, there are so many of us 28 year old sassy broads out there and we’ve all figured out how to be clever and biting and pose in cute outfits for lookbook so, your family should be nurturing this “hobby” potential business enterprise of yours and if they don’t dear Ugg, kindly tell them to go fuck themselves. You’re not getting younger or cuter (maybe?) you know, whose life is this anyway? I feel like you are whining about your brother reading your sticker book or something, the only way I see your family having any sort of hold over your online persona is if you’re Mormon or some shit, guy. If I ever listened to my family in terms of online multimedia or whatever I would not be raymi the fucking minx. I gave my mom my blog url the day I packed my bags and drove to Brooklyn at 18, sayonara oh and ps. this little thing called a blog might make you miss me less. For awhile I thought it a huge mistake, she would not stop commenting, sometimes she’d call in tears and I’d scream and hang up. She’d call back, granted I was 19 and train(joyride)wrecking all over the netz but so what. I never planned to work in an office so the people can see my skeletons. Not to be a psychic or anything but it sounds like you are already doing the safety dance on the internet and couldn’t possibly be anywhere near to how controversial (stupid) and provoking I am on the internet day in day out so if your family has beef with that then the issue is with them and 28 years of pent-up wall of silences are gonna come rolling out for a good old fashioned family referendum of awesome. When people take issue with other people’s blogs (facebooks, lives whatever) it says more about them than it does you. If mom doesn’t like your opinions then she can start her own damn blog, hell, mine did and for all the years of nitpicking me and nagging, hey mom, don’t tell me! tell the internet! This could bring your family closer to you, look at the positives. You can also use your blog to suck up to them, the pay-offs are endless. HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE HANK! See? Genius. Anyway, if it really bothers you and changes how you write (it will) then ask them to not read it, put them on limited facebook profiles. People get very good very fast at acting like they don’t read your blog, trust me, cos they know deep down they’re pussies and could never do what you do which is why they live vicariously through your shit. It will get better.
sorry kinda ranty, hope it suffices.
—-
im throwing my orig on the bloggo. thanks kate and i hope to run into you and your big jugs some day IRL.
i look pretty tired here. once again, allergies punched me in the face but i learned that if i have honey from this area it will help me become immune to the pollen, that those (MOTHERF-ING) bees in this area carry around to their hives. hey smojoe i know you’re a bee keeping freakazoid please bring me a jar of honey thanks. ps. coincidentally you wrote a nice thing about me in your pepsi post,
Thirty minutes later, and quite by accident I really annoyed Raymi with even more socially awkward behaviour. I asked for a pen to get a number from a guy, a hair dresser who wants to be on page one of Google and Raymi said she had one. Turns out she didn’t, but I went looking a little too intently in Raymi’s open purse and she scolded me. Rightly so. I felt foolish. Especially because it’s Raymi, and I have nothing but respect for her… Her acerbic wit is rare and precious, and she’s truly a unique voice and author. I’m not just saying that. Have you ever read Raymi The Minx ?
we forgot this, it’s teacher and i, barbarella who is this famous guy again? all of teacher’s friends are in lust with him now that he is hotter by raymi osmosis. skinnier, no glasses, constitution, dating bombshell. heheh.
i didn’t get too many pictures because i was too busy experiencing the black hole what are adventurehouse parties. you must come to experience for yourself. the whole family was there and i love when random little raymis appear and they get to meet their hero in proper elemental form. yah yah. like that bar brawl that broke out. TMR has trained me into a fighting machine. one girl there is beefing up to train to be a cop she’s done her written test but now needs to get beefed up which, i totally am. guys should i become a cop? or like a secret interpol sexy sleuth that gets information from visiting higher-ups then karate chops their bodyguard (much like happened friday night hahah) and scale down a building pipe outside the hotel window?
UO sat afternoon was very montreal hangover shopping spree. i don’t think the human eyeballs were meant to handle acid trippy colours and fluorescent lighting, not to be an eye specialist or anything here.
should have got these. also come in blue navy. everyone i know whines about UO it’s like walking into a candy store you can’t go in unless you are willing to blow at least $150. which is what i did and i am still having buyer’s regret over it. i still need a bikini for south beach.
i didn’t buy this cos it was like lingerie on me, xs or large. my legs are too long and i am already getting nothing but bitchiness toward me for owning my new body i have laboured consistently to achieve. i am tired of passive aggressive beta girls and mean chicks and getting no break cos when i snap back or react everyone is extra sensi cos it’s raymi, meanwhile i’m the one getting bullied and shit slung behind the back of. i don’t have the patience or energy to be the bigger person anymore.
a little too juvenile. i also owned this exact same dress (with matching belly top) when i was 6 and wore it to my bowling birthday party in streetsville hahaha.
we watched true grit. pure coen brothers magic. jeff bridges was unintelligible beyond belief and i cried when i thought the little girl was dying and why didn’t they make her meet up with matt damon in the end ooooh yearning cliffhanger goodness.
everyone was fighting this weekend. we had late night entertainment courtesy of mcdonald’s parkdale ahh my fave. i never fast food imbibe so this was something special.
white trash lady over yonder was screaming at the cute brown chicks, stuff like AFGHANI AFGHANI pure racist vitriol garbage. i went over to them all afterward to crisis counsel, but also wanted the inside scoop.
there was another chick in line with the white shirt white trash garbage mouth and it was basically just like, why you lookin ‘at me like that for, got classist a little so the lesser than floundered and turned it racial. yawn. the girls called the cops, who never came and i was saddened to hear that “they were used to it” as there were other visible non-whites scattered throughout the dining room who just like, fully shut down. also shocking. this woman’s filthy spewy racial rant was deserved of total retaliation, but no one did anything.
purple shirt was also compadres of white shirt racial spewer. every derogatory slag you can think of toward people of this identity, she said it. well not all of them but she said enough and it got my blood boiling. clearly she was drunk as hell and not to be taken seriously but they wanted to wait outside to fight these girls which is why i went over to them. when teacher and i finished our burgers we left and the crazies were gone. tales from parkdale princess.
bit of a late start this day. bit of a case of the mondays and the sense that time is slipping away from you. summer stress! had a nice visit in burnoutington yesterday, saw my bro too. have so much to do why am i blogging aghh. brb with something realer.
