i can’t draw hands.

Phil: hello?

me: hello?

Phil: i said: ha ha you’re awake

me: oh haha on me

Phil: yes
nah na nah

me: aerheht

Phil: ?

me: ewqoity4w;ohelifd
thats what it means

Phil: oh right
hi
i like when you get up with me

me: yes i know

Phil: hugs

me: ew

Phil: hahahahahahahahah

me: yes
cid is mental
in a time out

Phil: i took him for a sniffing tour of the hallway before i left
that probably got him going

me: totally thanks
he almost bit my fucking face
and he knocked your stepcounter to the floor, normally its the dental floss

Phil: hahaha

me: last nite he almost attacked me too i had to keep my eye on him and also pretend to be really nice and pet him until he laid down on my arm
i am trapped in an abusive relationship

Phil: after i passed out i assume
ah

me: just as you fell asleep
i feel like j.lo in monster in law

tony may be calling me at 8pm my time 5pm west coast time if that adrianna first america’s next top model winner chick shows up later or something he wasn’t too clear but anyway have a listen in case he does i’ll be eating dinner and drinking when he calls.

( )

that’s a taco.

based on that little buddy we are having mexican tonight.

oh change of plans it is too hot to walk to baldwin we are going to a saloon instead.

thanks very much

dear raymi

This is Bedlam/Doug (I used to send you an email now and again and posted on Stalk Raymi for a bit). I wanted to thank you for mentioning Douglas Coupland on your blog over the course of the time I have been reading it. I got into a bunch of his books because I was looking for something new and you had a bunch to say about him. Soon thereafter, my obsession with Coupland continued and now I will be writing my Masters Thesis utilizing his work. Thanks to you I will not be hovering over research materials wondering what I can possibly say about Shakespeare that hasn’t already been said but I will be reading fun novels and actually enjoying it.

So….thanks again,
Doug

here is an unamazing story.

on the island waiting for the ferry i situate myself at the front of everyone as i can see the boat is nearly docking, i take the initiative and then people start grouping all around me and then the boat docks and there is barely anyone coming off so i wait for these people to get off and there is now just two more people one with a cart full of junk another with a bike but loads of room for me to pass by so i start to walk and i guess based on my previous move to line up first everyone has declared me as their leader and commence following me but the boat dudes are all woah woah WOAH stand back people you can’t board yet i’m like uh i just want my special treatment i have nothing to do with these morons and their baby helmets (in my head) and sigh and wait a couple seconds for nothing cos no one else is getting off cos there IS no one else to get off and then the one guy goes ok NOW you can go and motions after i gave an extra second of waiting as a message to let them know that they are stupid.

so for the entire ride back to the mainland i felt like, bad, and i was going to get a lecture or someone was going to say something to me cos that’s what the tone was like during boarding it was very i am the boss you are not the boss and once the one dude said no boarding all four chimed in it was so stupid. but no one said anything and i was all prepared to be banned from the ferry for a year or something magnificent like that upon delivering my biting wit.

except for fil he called me an idiot and way to go.

four stars post.

two nites ago paris hilton was just around the corner from our place at lobby.

sashimi loner.

my stomach is actually churning right now.

ok at this point we’re cool.

at the old sushi club when the ceiling started raining during all that chaos, this one female retard patron actually asked one of the employees how to make that thing that makes the chopsticks stay up, and she said it like that too uh fuck off the ceiling is raining right now. it’s called FOLDING.

sashimi crystal. based on fil’s suggestion i thought why not get more for a dollar extra? mistake.

way too fishy.

i have never seen salmon pinwheeled like that before and i don’t think i need to ever again. they forgot to add ginger.

now this would be the gross unecessary side of the plate.

ralph!

finally the ginger shows up.

no one left behind my ass.

oh don’t worry i won’t be forgetting this.

if you can’t read this they don’t want you. this dude beside me when they changed the sign was all oh yeah i can tell the difference now trying to be my friend in racism and i was just uh yeah uh huh earphones back in.

ungh i feel sick now.

morning water friend.

good thing i didn’t have seconds. that little prick deserved it.

this guy asked me if my picture was going to be in the toronto sun i just laughed and said maaaaaaaaybe then he tried to get us to take some junk with us.

this post is brought to you by mental

i have had insane cramps all day long which can only mean that i have cervical cancer that’s what i decided this morning to be paranoid about because at my last physical my doctor was like go have an ultrasound ok sure gave me papers i didn’t call and cos these cramps are too early i have decided that little barely a cyst that she told me was from about to be having my period is full-blown cancer spread throughout my body and not just the about to have my period (again already?!) cramps. i need like ten fainting couches stacked in a pyramid like stairs and i slam down into all of them one by one like a chemical brothers video.

anyway if something works don’t fucking change it by trying out a different japanese restaurant MISTAKE. i actually left fish behind i think my sashimi honeymoon is over. on the way there in my head i was like should i shouldn’t i should i shouldn’t i try the place across the street from ghazale but then happened upon somewhere else instead.

somehow i choked my way through 15 pieces thank god for sake.

i do not need to eat again for the rest of my life even though i still went to dominion to get prosciutto and two bananas and milk but all the students took the milk so i put back my selections then went to noah’s for organic save the world products but no bananas or prosciutto, prosciutto being the only fucking reason i left the building in the first place.

i carried my milk and hummus and okra wrap in my hands no bag and i could tell these frat boys on my way home were all picturing me cooking them dinner in flip flops and underwear.

now i am going to read my emo book on the couch and take advantage of the alternate reality vicious cramps puts you in.

this is how i feel right now:

haha i am going to put this in my facebook and tag my brother’s name to it i will update you with his response later. if you didn’t know this is the robot guy from aliens and we used to do impressions of him all the time when he pukes all over himself as he is getting torn in half we make his warbly puking noises.

ps. has anyone heard the new bjork album is it good and worth buying?

all i want to eat today is a mountain of prosciutto. i think it might happen too. i will let you know of course. it’s all i am thinking about.

saw land of talk last nite and before that cloud cult played and had a little painting jam slam on the stage and this one guy said they ripped off that idea from some other band that used to do it over ten years ago, i thought that’s funny that’s like saying you ripped off my wearing hats idea.

wendi was the only smart person to join us.

i like it when someone from the audience catcalls something they think is funny but so isn’t and you can tell it is their first time at a show in a long time and the band has to go along with what they say and everyone feels embarrassed.

i had to use a hair elastic to tie my shirt up higher around my neck, it’s too big and rests just at my nipples and they shake out too easy you care.

the other one sold first for 150 though i think this one is better but i just noticed the antennae so dock ten coolness points – the other one wins despite the jetson’s hypnotize swirls for pupils. this one sold too.

ghostender go back to the shining!

how you know nerds hang here.

leg warmers are fine i wear them all the time but those rave moon boots are not cool i don’t care how much ecstasy you’ve done in the past get out of here.

totally judging the scene i love it.

yeah i don’t know why i do it either.

ever since wendi told me about red carpet smiling it has ruined me. lips closed, teeth parted. mental.

leviride is now defunct and we nabbed their drummer, andrew, for our new band not yet named.

then we took a cab home and shared a small lovely bag of zesty cheese doritos.