when’s last call here, never?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RA2Mpo7mqZI

i trust you with my life and i don’t even know you. classic. to be continued… i was also about to say woah good judge of chracter. hah.

no time for G-E-R!

festive! noel you would really appreciate this scene. like the good ole parkdale ghetto bar afternoon days. remember we went to jilly’s with craig after dangerous dans hahaha ugh. yes i know that’s not in parkdale but still, it was a classy day.

you can sit here.

i’ll take my hambur…sorry, my “bur” in cookie-form, thanks. ew-looking much?

waaaaaaay more interested in the other side of the room.

a serious chat along the lines of i don’t know you but i trust you that went on for ten minutes. then continued when they came back in after a dart then i blatantly was stared at like, guy standing against window with laser beams directed at me unblinking gross drunk oggling staring. i looked up from pretending to be interested in my hat and just shook my head NO at him like pedro’s cousin did from his sick ride at the school bully in napoleon dynamite. didn’t work though.

sexy gambling.

i got these ten per cent off for being a babe. i asked the kid if there were any deals going on, would these chucks be on sale anytime soon? no? oh what about your employee discount, how much is it? you don’t know? 10% right yeah? ok good give me that. done. try it, works every time. (mostly).

worth it.

when i left, my crackhead lady crush from across the room waved at me again and again then i made drug jokes all the way to the truck. I’M ITCHY! dave was like oh my god i love my life after that experience haha. aw. sigh. it felt very to serve and protect 90s style. FAVOURITE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCo8pUW37k8

eh i bet secretly she loves you the fuck up. which also is scary, if not scarier. don’t let it get to your heart, basically. that sounded pretty gay. she seems to think she’s got some mystical impossible connection with you and i can kinda speak to that cause your writing style when i first started reading your blog was a lot like mine, lazy like mine, i figured being similar we’d be good friends. i probably left a few retarded comments over the years too, i can be a total prick. i think it’s kind of your effect on people, they relate and sometimes a LOT. you’re going into new territory with your life blogging, like. i think people are pumped when they find out you exist, that blogs like yours are possible and i think she means well, i think she’s ashamed of being crazy but still is, in actuality, a little bit crazy. i liked you like that for a bit but never said anything or sounded crazy so you could take it from me that it’s a harmless kind of feeling. then again she might have crossed many lines, i haven’t read what else she wrote but. i think people hating you to that extreme means you’re a celebrity, means you’re doing something right, and that it’s harmless because they apparently hate you but they keep coming back for more, yeah?

i think people like to have those crushes they’ll never have, it keeps them ambitious or like. distracted. keeps the crush at that stage where you don’t know better. it’s pretty cute to see hundreds of other people crushin on you cause it’s like, see she’s good. but yeah re: celebrity you might as well own up to it. have you ever thought about going to the states? canada’s like. awesome yeah but kinda bushleague in many aspects, they want their acorns without the oak trees. but yeah, you’re big in canada, say you are with a straight face and people won’t even doubt it. it kind of depends how much you want to be, like there’s an alcoholic friend who says you never have to bear responsibility for that which you have no control over but the secret is that you can have control over everything. i’m not even sure that you really 100% want to be that famous, i feel like it happened incidentally like how if someone starts bustin out somethin awesome on the djembe then people’ll just slowly gather around and when you look up they’re everywhere. people say “celebrity” in this tone like it’s a bad thing but what’s wrong with bustin out somethin awesome on the djembe or screen or internet or book or whatever. from reading interviews it seems even the household names never really know the exact moment when they become famous or a celebrity but i’m sure you’ve had a few good moments yeah? as your attorney i’d advise you to just play it like you’re famous. i feel like i could probably be a good conversation regarding that and i know i’m from ******* population ****** but the thing about that is that strangers know you and talk about the party you threw or who you made out with or your new car and everyone’s a really small-scale celebrity in a small town and it makes people leave sometimes, mainly totally disgraced sluts or homos who are frustrated with the gene pool, but. it can be annoying, you gotta live like people are listening but after awhile it’s just life, you grow around it and it gets to be all you know. told you i was bored at work, what else is there to talk about?

i’ll chat you about the ryerson talk later (i sweated profusely) plus USS‘ show last nite (so awesome so fun best time ever).

easily scariest email i’ve ever received

this is what happens when a flamers own flaming (stalking, harassment, obsession) drives them infuckingsane.

I read your post LOOK I’M YOU, your expressions were exactly, eerily like mine in photos stored on my computer and not published anywhere. This and your odd choice of the rarely used word “dazzlingly” that I had just written in a document suggested that you could have illegally hacked into my computer. It would not be hard for someone to install a packet sniffing program if they were malicious or vengeful. You had just blocked me too. Strange coincidences. My friend who is a Systems Analyst is checking out my computer. If you did hack into my computer, that would be an extremely malicious and vengeful act, so much worse than someone posting harsh unflattering comments on a message board. And you know what? After a few days when I read the comments I was fucked up enough to make and I felt pretty pathetic. I mean, you’re right, don’t I have better things to do? When I get on a tirade I find it hard at the time to shut up. This is bad I know. I’ve been resentful of you wining and dining while I wait on customers and sell used crap for chump change. I guess there is just a fine line between resentment and jealousy too. I can come across as a caustic bitch on a gawker forum, but I am not a mean person by nature. I do not have a big hate-on for you, in fact, I admire you in lots of ways. I went too far with my criticism. How you live your life is your own business. Just had to get this out. That’s all.

firstly, i haven’t a clue as to who you are and the only thing i’ve ever hacked before was my face during a coke bender so have fun with your systems analingus. you think because i (COINCIDENTALLY)(put down the ganj you’re tweaking out) used a stupid word in a blog post that i got into your computer? LOL! you try blogging for 9 years, words get old quick so you have to come up with newer vocab wow i’m floored right now but ps. the LOOK I’M YOU is me doing a dave impression. i’m wearing his work safety glasses, his shirt, and i’m frowning like HIM not YOU, HIM! i have no idea what your shitty facial expressions could even be, what you look like, OR WHO YOU EVEN FUCKING ARE SO HOW CAN I HACK YOU!?

time to move on and get some help you have dedicated entirely too much time projecting your life’s shit on to me i’m glad you have finally wisened up to it though. i should have banned you ages ago and yes you should feel pathetic you have character assassinated me in the forums of every goddamn online publication i have been featured in, you’re sick and cruel. you are nothing special. you are merely one of many detractors who criticize me on the regular because you are too lazy and bitter to make meaning of your own life. remember, IT’S ONLY A BLOG I’M NOT OUT WINING AND DINING 24/7 THAT’S JUST THE SHIT I CHOOSE TO SHOW BECAUSE I DON’T THINK PEOPLE WANT TO SEE VIDEOS OF ME EMPTYING THE BATHROOM GARBAGE BINS, FEEDING DOGS, OR STARING AT THE CEILING WITH WRITER’S BLOCK and another thing, blocking you is NOT a “strange coincidence” you fucked up, you got banned. goodbye. cool way of showing your admiration though.

i get that you are trying to make amends here but in doing so you accuse me of something pretty huge, doesn’t exactly make me feel warm and fuzzy inside right now.

Girl thinks about Raymi on a long drive…

Hola Raymi Dearest,

I was on a long drive last weekend and my ipod spat out a song, and through the whole thing I was thinking of you and your current state of affairs. Not sure if you’ve heard it, it has a degree of cheese but I had to send it on to you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfOXJrn9vrw
It reminds me of you in that she’s in a space of contemplation, understanding that although things are fucked there is a way to start all over.
Much love and watch out for those gangs of underage suburban cool kids…
xoxo Ang

Hey, I’m sure you get a ton of messages and I’m sure the positive ones all say the same thing. For that matter I’m sure the negative ones say the same things too, ha ha. But I guess I just felt the need to send you something myself. I know we don’t know each other, though I’m sure it’s still nice to hear nice things, I hope what I say holds some merit because I do mean it honestly and I’m actually a pretty awesome person, in my own little world, that isn’t as big as yours obviously, but still.

I just wanna say, your hair looks BEAUTIFUL!!!! That colour and length, I am inspired to start lightening mine…but maybe after I go dark one more time, ha. And also that despite pretty much never reading your, or anyones, blogs anymore, I skimmed through after seeing you change your relationship status and I am also inspired by your strength and ability to say all you’ve said in such a mature and elegant way. That may sound funny but, just looking briefly and not knowing much of anything, you seem changed, more eloquent, more honest and bare (if that’s possible) more whole even.

I went through a horrible break up earlier this year, I hadn’t even been with him a year but man on man, he was the one. Even now knowing all that I know, coming out the other end and realizing there was nothing in him that was meant for me, I still struggle. Every fucking day I struggle, but I think what you and I have in common, and probably others, is seeing the beauty even in the struggle.

Stay strong and I hope I’m in Vancouver the next time you make it over! xo

by the way

if i sound like a dumbass tomorrow during my talk at ryerson it is because i have been up to the following (achievements) o’re the last 36 some-odd hours.

tying my shoes. no just kidding this was i don’t even know when ago. ahh november 11.

oh look there i’m at it again! so here’s a little known raymi fact. i have over 50 questions to somewhat prepare answers to for tomorrow and they pretty much replicate every single thing i have been asked before ever so i’ma make like wing nite and wing it. (is it that obvious i don’t have friends anymore to bounce this shit off of?) point is, here is a stupid piece of information about myself that no one ever bothered to ask before regarding how i learned to tie my shoes. i taught myself how to tie laces when i was ok lets say 4, 5, anyway i tie them like a 5 year old basically cos of that. two loops, no over under the mountain and through the woods crap here – it’s fun to see. i also taught myself how to snap, thanks to that i snap backwards. i can’t at all snap like everybody else. ooh guess what my next raymi video will be featuring?

i was quite busy spacing out to pirates of the caribbean at world’s end last nite. can you even try to ignore how long and lustrous that hair is?

and talkin’ mad shit. made a pretty wicked salad.

this is what high iq thinking looks like and for once this isn’t a weed joke. (i’m putting myself in a weed jokes timeout). how greasy does your nose feel looking at my sheen there haha.

found a better soap dish. so when the queen comes we’re all set.

mom dropped off two tupperware containers full of xmas crap because apparently i am 1990’s style her now. i made this when i was 13. ON MY OWN TIME NO SCHOOL OBLIGATIONS WHATSOEVER. yeah i was a cool one for awhile there. i blame fear street novels.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

doya think tinkmeister has a boyfriend?

then i had to oversee some electrical installations.

oh whatever it was the only place in the house where i could lie down and burn out with dignity.

today i was pretty much psychotically depressed with a delicious sprinkling of massive period cramps on top.

worked til ten. i actually did stuff. WHAT I DID.

tomorrow i will wake up at the crack of crack and pre-drink for prepare my talk.

remind me (you guys NEVER follow through on that shit) to tell you about the lesbo at the mediterranean resto we go to at least once a week. so bizarre.

before/after

poor little guy.

buy a vacuum or shave your cat.

my brother had to watch rocky for a week once, he had some friends over then rocky comes prancing into the room and one friend proclaims what the FUCK is that!!?

busy day. time? no time. always. never.

it’s like 2 geniuses talking or something

resin raymi and spliffy steph time again!

greasy headband hair day. i think i look pretty douchey. from some angles if i’m high enough i think i look like sharon stone’s hair in casino. not one picture proof of that though.

screw it. headband day will have to be another day.

uh, cool.

you should see my hair right now it was a balmy 23 degrees all night long this morning i was stuck to my pillow drenched in sweat. hot.

there is basically no point in vacuuming those stairs.

ok on with the shit show…

steph: are you busy? im on chat and i can light one
we havent left for timmins yet haha

me: bAHHAHAHAHh
im already cranked
ok gchat
doober two

Steph: hahahaa

me: u never made it to timmins

Steph: im wearing plaid pants

me: what did u do all day instead
NICE
im wearing a leotard
no shower day

Steph: ya rye and i are dreading it and so he wants to drive overnight instead
we’re all mopey and emo today
he’s napping

me: aw join the club
burlington is on my period today
cool productive

Steph: hahaha
i wish i slept in more

me: the dogs wake me up
they totally have me manipulated

Steph: hahaha
thats why dogs suck
mainly

me: they get me up at 10

Steph: ahahaha guess what ive eaten today

me: 9.40 sometimes
i had a banana earlier
oh what
i cant guess
moose steaks

Steph: brb

me: your superbowl chili dip
Butterbeer Ale boiled with butter, sugar, an egg yolk and topped with a whipped cream and nutmeg.
um i just came
i have never looked at this website baked before

Steph: im back

me: dont you guys eat this twice a week The Steakinator

Steph: ryes mom came over
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING
hahaha

me: oh parents are fun when you’re high
we skyped daves mom/sis a month or so ago
put me on the spot
i just smiled like a goon and waved a lot

Steph: ahahaha

me: INTENSELY AWKWARD

Steph: funny
i hate kraft dinner
HAD
i HAD it
hahaha
i love it

me: GOOD TO KNOW I LOVE IT
ha

Steph: im having deja vu

me: are you stoned or not

Steph: im also watching who’s the biss
boss
NO hahaha
almost

me: HAHAHAHA
sound baked to me

Steph: ahhahaha
its a gify
gift
FUCK
whats dave doing

me: what the fuck is going on
he went upstairs

Steph: your dinner looked awesome

me: ha
sometimes we just eat standing up in like 2 seconds
then like what now
BOARD GAME

Steph: hahahaha really

me: more pot
eat
repeat

Steph: thats funny to picture!

me: yeah
things are pretty busy over in these parts
whats rye up to

Steph: i LOVE who’s the boss
sleeping

me: i hate it
it has an 80s dusty yawn to it
i liked it awhile ago

Steph: the old ones are so good
sam

me: nah

Steph: its an age thing

me: not selling me give up

Steph: i hate it when people say nah

me: likely
NAHH
nah

Steph: hahaha

me: nah what i mahn

Steph: nice

me: did u scroll back and check my food links and comments

Steph: oh shit i opened them and forgot haha

me: Upside Down Mac & Cheese Pizza
A layer of mac & cheese sandwiched between two cheese pizzas.
i should stop looking at this shit

Steph: hahahaha ew thats too much
this website is hilarious

me: i might walk thru a mcdonalds drive thru
HEY larry
the regular
yes
ten big macs later

Steph: is the big mac your fav?

me: i havent had one in about 3 years
but yeah i think
whoppers im more a fan of

Steph: i think its mine too. but i used to be a quarter pounder girl
hahaha

me: i ask for mayonaise at swiss chalet the sauce is not enough
you called me a girl! (read it differently baked, the way it was smushed in my chat box appeared to be its own sentence)
HAHAHHAHAHHAHA

Steph: hahahaha no i used to be that kind of girl

me: barf

Steph: not, girl!

me: HHA well its funny if you called me a girl
ill pretend that you did

Steph: this is disgusting

me: i know mmm maggot loaf

Steph: i should talk more thuggy

me: no you called me girl as in pussy kinda way
youre bush and im delicate
guy we have christmas town set up here

Steph: hahaha you do

me: sending pics

i’ve been hardcore slobchicing it the last little while. ha i’m adorable “last little while” more like last ENTIRE LIFE.

Steph: our plan is to make a snowman instead of putting lights up.
step 1: snow

me: ok but if it melts
nice christmas display lazy stoners

Steph: geeehee i kinda love it
yep thats adorable

me: did u get the others
look what its across from

Steph: hahahaha
sweet

me: anyway

Steph: :)

me: um are you going to contribute anything

Steph: hahahaaa

me: are you swaying around holding swathes of gauzy fabric to the merseybeats

Steph: this is like the most job pressure ive ever had
to WHAT

me: i think of you

Steph: k i have a q

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKNC_xEwfF4

Steph: you know those machines that jiggle your muscles

me: yes the thing i painted

Steph: oh yeah, ya how does that machine work is it like, tasing you?

me: its jiggling your muscles at a high rate, friction
good for last minute toning
i also sort of have no idea
dude keep it light please

Steph: hahahaa “jiggling”

me: ew
ha

Steph: i hope that jiggling is actually excercise
that’s be sweet
omg i cant type today

me: did u see the other xmas pics

Steph: JUST now
the garbage is so cute

me: i know

Steph: you dont have to blog these if they suck

me: he pulled them out yesterday and i was like are you serious!
blogging it i have zero standards for that thing

(then a bunch of shit was said that can’t be shared here yet)

Steph: can you start saying dickload

me: DICKLOAD

Steph: hahahaha oh ya

me: haha first i typed DICKLOADED

Steph: thereyago

me: picture me saying it like a WWF announcer

Steph: hahaha i CAN
sorry im like bleh

me: ok getting ready to head out now
its ok emo emu

Steph: k
hahahaa

me: so yer leaving tonite over nite?
ahahahhaaha

Steph: yep

me: drive safe timbo

Steph: will do lates

me: byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

this is so me.

pictures of my dad’s cat who now looks like a poodle rat to come. i’ll try hard another time to bring back some quality posts. i’m writing a book right now you guises! ps. it’s my blog’s anniversary on nov 28 is that nine years or ten? nine. right. feels like 30.