i’m going to be speaking at ryerson in a couple weeks. i have all these questions (outline) to go over to prepare a talk and then most likely lapse into a Q&A style exchange. i asked the prof “am i going to get snarky smart-allecky quips from toronto shit kids?” i only asked because it has been something of habit to call me out on not seeking higher-education, choosing my own path for “making it” for not going the route everyone else felt necessary. i think of all the people who have become successful and never even graduated high school. you’re not supposed to go there though. don’t upset the herd. cos not everyone’s dreams come to fruition even if they blew $40+k on schooling. i’ve always been much of a true believer that you are born with it, it cannot be learned. i don’t like forced. i hate seeing parents insist upon making their child fit into holes they don’t fit in to. you must be this, you must do that. barf.
i am not saying that i have made it in any shape or form. i don’t think i will ever be satisfied with myself. i feel like i will always be running uphill with cement shoes on. but still. i gave a talk on how to be famous on the internet once (paid). i made it as broad as i could. as YOU CAN DO IT TOO as i could. but as previously stated, if it doesn’t come naturally to you, if you don’t feel passion for writing compulsively, sharing everything, it will not happen. one (very successful entrepreneur) man (with a thriving business in yorkville) asked me how much work has to go into blogging. i found that to be the wrong attitude.
if you don’t see the story within yourself, your life, everything around you, then you are not a writer. if you look at the rocks you’re selling and you can’t make them dazzle, then you are not a story teller and you lack imagination and this is not for you. sorry. writing, blogging, networking, media, advertising, all of them go together. i don’t know how long that would take you, sorry, i don’t have an answer to your question rich yorkville guy. i don’t count hours because i don’t quantify the value of my life in that way. i love what i do because i believe in it. it is the real deal for me and people could see right through it if it wasn’t.
attempting to personify perfection (personally, relationshippy)(which i am not the only one on this planet who is a guilty party of) is a dumb move. perfect is boring. pretending it’s perfect even moreso. not only that, so totally painful too. flaws are great. quirks. love them. highlight those.
anyway here’s one question i asked for, eloquently so too “give me an outline otherwise i just go on long tangents, go back on topic, then go off again and again. i love talking. i start out a bit shy then i hit my groove.”
A lot of attention has been paid recently to people who regretted something they had posted online (because it interfered with a relationship or getting a job or whatever). Has that ever been an issue for you?
no. i have opted for the artistic side of the fence so it’s never been a problem for me. if someone doesn’t accept me for what i am, and what i am essentially is what i do then they don’t accept me, therefore they can move along. some people choose to actively take issue with everything there is about me just to draw lines in the sand, it’s pretty sad. people pre-judge me all the time, it’s exhausting. the line of work i’m after doesn’t necessitate rolled down sleeves and fly rights. i try and watch what i say in terms of friend’s wishes for privacy. i won’t brag about blow with celebrities though that would be awesome for me personally, not awesome for everyone else. i don’t exploit others, just myself. again no, i don’t regret any of this, and why should i? this is about me, not them. i kept at it through all the bullshit and tears, drama, breakdowns, all of that, because it’s life. modern day life exposed.
and now i have to answer some questions for an interview that will be featured in Las Vegas CityLife huh what? haha.
people who say APPS trigger a wild knee-jerk hate-on reaction within me. significantly so. i feel like i am being spoken to by a desperate to please woman-baby. i was around for the 80s and you’re older than me, so i know there was a time when that term was so not in your vocabulary you fucking liar and if you ever say that shit around me again i am leaving your snoozer get-together. (after i eat everything of course) ps. just try and pull “appys” and see what happens.
don’t care how slumming ghetto it appears, shit’s good st. louis.
could put my dance lessons to use here. ha.
much like that radiohead collab with unkle rabbit in your headlights video that i will now listen to fifty times. “she cries when she’s laughing.”
happened upon this amazing little scene, hidden gem i’d imagine. felt like going back in time a bit. i’ve been feeling that way a lot lately actually. being the new girl, where nobody knows my name. it’s kinda great. i always fantasized in school to move around a lot, new friends, new places. to be a new person.
sometimes i feel like poison. like my world is poison and what i mean by that is, i like to keep things separate. would like to. but i also feel an innate sense of obligation to be out with everything. then i remember the poison, the pressure rather, how it affects everyone around me and i want to protect them from it. i’d like to be more forthright is what i’m getting at. maybe.
that tee from walmart (yes i know)(ugh) was 7 bones. the cardi also from w-mart. yes the place is disgustingly evil but, when in rome…nah it was late and zellers was closed. we needed scrabble and 140 dollars later we were done.
i summarize yesterday’s camp scene to that of fubar meets trailer park boys.
no i’m not above it. i’m in it.
every shade of pink i have. commencing nail regrowth. grow and paint and rip. grow and tear and throw it in an ashtray, hide it in the carpet.
there’s been a lot of woods squatting lately.
catching yourself on some twigs on the way down is a little bit of a shock.
how many times do you live?
these guys barely made it through the day. the box kinda gets me jazzed for christmas already. that’s just the stupid talking though. not at all considering any and all potential stress revolving around the holidays.
hi leslie.
yes those seriously were my letters.
i would be lying if i said these dogs weren’t full-on enchanted by me.
and they respond to me as mummy.
it was close but i won. dave got stuck with a Q. i’d like to give a shout-out to dictionary.com for allowing words such as po and i swear there was an “ay” in there too but i can’t see it now.
watching a dog dismantle a stuffed creature of yours is satisfying. freeing.
+++
and allan as always, rules. he came to my first art show and gave me a nice bottle of red wine, shyly spake some encouraging words and then he was gone. that’s class.
Daily newspapers and television and radio seem to go out of their way to pretend that the internet doesn’t exist.
Can’t really blame them for feeling threatened, but I do blame them for being such cowards as to ignore the reality of how large a role the web plays in everyone’s life in 2009.
So I’m very impressed that the Globe did this story, for whatever reason, and regardless of how long it took them to acknowledge even just one of the real heroes of new media.
Anyone who has ever read Catcher In The Rye can see that Lauren White is one of the most gifted writers on the world wide web.
It’s not just her humour and bad attitude that dazzles and blows away the cobwebs of mundane conformity.
She plays with the language and invents new words with the ease of the best poets who ever lived.
She takes the pathetic existence of living in Toronto and going nowhere and being a nobody, and asserts that she has far greater worth, whether anybody agrees or not, whether anyone likes it or not.
I’ve always admired her courage, and think she’s brilliant.
I was catching up on your blog over the weekend and I wanted to tell you that as a member of your audience, I am very excited about this crossroads that you’re at. i wish I had the balls to be as honest and open about my life as you are.
For my money, you’re in league with Chaplin, The Beatles, Walt Disney, etc. People who set the standard and create the artform as they go along, leaving the rest of the world to play catch up and try to define it later.
Keep shining, you bright star.
remember this gem wow summer feels so far away. that’s an entire life away. the best quote in this video is when i say, “it’s like here’s my head and my face and then it’s like my face is trying to leave my head.” that’s before i even started smoking the sweet cheecha my friends. don’t be jealous if your face doesn’t look mounted on your head like mine does.
just wanted to let you know that i emailed hal, and he said the quote was taken out of context/misquoted. i’m familiar with his writing, so it seeme really weird for him to just say something as cutting as that.
anyway, thought I’d let you know,
lucas
for the record i am OK with the g&m article. the picture could have been painted differently, but so what. it’s press. many things i said (and we all know how much of a big mouth i am) were left out. but apparently i am a hypocrite for not releasing a statement regarding my painful private breakup because i talk about bowel movements and how much everyone sucks secretly on the internet all the time. me and shulgan are cool, in fact he just called and is being rather helpful with book agent name-droppings so… though i’m not going to ignore my suspicion of his desire to create this grand internet drama clusterfuck betwixt us all. i do admire his shit-stirring candor, it’s amusing. he also considers me the most prolific blogger ever, so there’s that.
That’s OK Raymz. I’ve got no problem being mentioned in any article with you. I’m kinda flattered and I’m a big fan, but you already know that. I’m a little disappointed, but not surprised at the tone of the article though. To me it’s just another illustration how out of step mainstream print is. The hoity toity tone they take: how they imply that their writing is more important than your writing, and their need to marginalize you and your followers is so hackneyed. It’s also interesting that they have to give you context by dropping mine and Matt G’s names! I’m a Globe reader, 42 years old, and been around. I love all kinds of grown-up things, and I’m pretty well read and informed – but even I felt like I was dealing with close minded parents or teachers while reading this article. The beauty of Raymi The Minx is how immersed, how involved I can get in the writing – whether you’re talking about bacon martini’s, japanese jewellery, or rabid Twilight fans. The Globe missed that, and they missed it cause they’re not in on it. The only way in, is to discover it. To your thousands of followers, Raymi The Minx has something that the Globe and other mainstream print media are losing by the hour and desperately trying cling to, especially with articles like today’s: Connection With Their Readers. Not tokenism, or trendwatching, but true emotional and intellectual relevance. That’s why you are the success story that you are, Raymi. Yee Haw!!!! Keep it Comin…..
I heard from Luc about you and Fil breaking up. And I just read some stuff on yer blog. This is the first I hear about the article and, although I haven’t read it, it sounds like a piece of shit. I’ve always known you were something special since that first night we really hung out. This city is full of jealous assholes and I’m so sick of who it promotes/disses. You do have a gift; he’s f-n wrong and has no business pronouncing on that.
I’d like to visit you. I’ve got a car.
Love,
Melodie
Dear Editor…
I have taken huge offense to some of the content of the article: “Love in the time of bloggeria”, specifically the quote from Hal Niedzviecki -“She’s very much the epitome of the committed, addicted blogger – no real gift to speak of, besides this intense need for attention. And she thrives on it.”
Lauren White (aka “Raymi The Minx”) is a fabulously talented writer, and her style is hers, and hers alone. Not to mention the accolades her writing has received, she is one of the most celebrated bloggers in Canada for a reason, not only because her blog receives more hits then many others, but because people actually care about her. Her writing makes people want to know her, she has become many readers online friend, crush, fantasy. She opens up her heart and mind and exposes it like no other writer i have ever encountered.
It’s unfortunate that Hal appears to be jealous of her talent and her readership, and it saddens me immensely to see that quote in print. It is very spiteful and rude.
i’ll sound my mouth off regarding the globe “piece” later, or tomorrow. everyone knows how media works, now while i wasn’t to anticipate this particular slant, i was nervous and ready for something. dunno. it’s good and it’s bad. i’m certainly not the only one benefiting from all this attention so it would be nice if that person who keeps harassing me, who has overstepped boundaries MANY a time with me over the years and i have patiently tolerated it, it would be wonderful if they ceased ever contacting me, talking about me, or considering i even exist anymore lest i call their parole officer tomorrow. also, why you feel the need to defend someone who hasn’t wanted a thing to do with you for a long time now, is beyond me.
that aside, this is the life that i have chosen for myself. you may have chosen an easier, simpler one, a quiet one, a desk job one, i don’t know because i don’t know you and i don’t ever presume to. i have chosen to focus my life on living and being and sharing. and so fucking what. i gambled. i keep at it, and i keep going until i can go no longer. i don’t have a boss telling me what to do everyday or how to do it. am i proud of myself? yes. do i hate myself? daily. am i sick of myself? yes. am i bored by this? yes.
Hey Raymi,
I have been quietly following your blog for the past two years, whether I liked it or not. I came upon you accidentally through numerous blog links, and I instantly fell in love with your photographs, your fashion sense and your lifestyle. Even when I decided some of your comments were too harsh or crass, and I tried to boycott reading your blog, I was pulled back in without choice. I guess in retrospect, your persona of bluntness mixed with sweet is exactly what I really like about you.
You don’t sugar coat, you don’t pretend, and your exactly who you are, even when it’s a total contradiction. I think thats pretty damn awesome. Sometimes, I even find myself saying “What would Raymi do?” or “That is totally Raymi”. I have been thinking of sending you a note for some time, and now is as good a time as any. I look forward to what your new life will bring to your blog, and I know you will be fine. I applaud you for making a decision that many can’t, and never do. Thanks for giving me something awesome to read while I am online, thanks for the fashion inspiration, thanks for the laughs. Good luck in everything you do, and never stop writing!
PS: Although Phil may not be entirely missed, I will be missing Cid.
-L
people tell me all the time that this is really easy what i do. oh it is? makes me laugh. when i talk about dieting someone with the poorest physique having the audacity to tell me my plan will not work. it’s like that. i do this because i love it and it’s the longest relationship that i have ever had and i can depend on it. do i expect everyone to be cool about it? never ever. i haven’t had the courtesy to. you lose friends. your friends lose friends even. true colours become revealed.
here’s an email i just sent (edited out the personal bits)
hey always nice to hear from you i think of you fondly in a fond i dunno, way.
sorry about yer grandma, mine took a spill once down some nasty steps, concrete. bah.
im on the fence as per how i feel about the globe piece i sort of knew he was going this way but then it was said to me that they were going to make me out to be the paris hilton of canada, not only perez, what?
true colours come out when things end, when breakups happen. it’s amazing i feel woken up to so many brand new things. (about people)
suburban fall is how she goes. from one ‘saugan to another, represent.
Just read abt @raymitheminx in the Globe. A portrait of Toronto’s most famous diarist. Shes more than just Alice. She’s the looking glass 2.about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck
@abc4
@raymitheminx critics are dicks by occupation. but denouncing art is extra dicky.
Well, first, I think there is a little jealousy on display here. The writer of the article works for a medium that is losing readers; Raymi and Phil are both working in mediums that continue to attract readers. So there is that.
The snide use of a quote, by another writer, to suggest Raymi is a vapid one-dimensional attention seeker, without a “gift” overlooks this:
Raymi has succeeded in developing a readership and maintaining a readership were literally hundreds of thousands have failed. That alone speaks to a number of gifts. Is she self-serving? Sure. So am I, and so are you. That’s human nature. Human nature is something Raymi has a keen eye for, another reason she is well read.
Finally, I would hazard this: Raymi and Phil are both representative of a twenty-something tribe, and that tribe happens to enjoy a certain angsty something or other. I’m certain the demographic that follows their blogging follows them for that reason; they describe aspects of that angsty twenties passage really well.
If anyone would like to use this comment as an example of how not to properly use semi colons and colons, feel free.
i shall rebut this moreso later, kinda gotta split. a few parts i take issue with but more or less, i’m fine with it. to say i have no real gift to speak of is a bit rich. i’m interesting, that’s a gift. it’s a talent, in fact. you’re not. so, respectfully, fuck you. writing about individuals who do rather than not, does not make you interesting. taking advantage of popular culture, is not interesting. nor is it a gift. everything is old news before you even hit publish. maintaining eyeballs for ten years IS a gift. going out everyday looking at the world and asking yourself how to make the mundane, endearing, you try it. and good luck too. put yourself in center focus while you’re at it and take lots of shit for every minor detail down to your eyebrows.
another thing, i do not find honesty to be distasteful. there is no back and fight war going on, there is simply here and there is there and over here i’m finally purging, as respectfully as i know how, presently. also, over there the “veiled references” had been going on long before this week. i’m giving bare bones information, i feel. minimal.
here’s a quote not used in the article:
I’m not part of blogging circles. I can only tell you that Raymi is deftly holding back the feeding frenzy while she sorts out her life. She just took a bold leap and removed her safety net, meanwhile people just want the dirt. There’s a huge opportunity here for her to exploit the relationship’s demise and get a lot of attention from it, but out of respect for the other person, she’s not doing that and I think that’s confusing her readers more than anything.
i also never complained about the suburbs. make fun of, sure. certainly. absolutely. i grew up in suburbia so i know it well, hate it well, but still love it. i’m fine with where i am right now in fact, britt asked me yesterday when the plan was to make my way back to the city and i said i’m actually considering going further away. i was done with the city before i even left it.
one thing typically left out when it comes to the matter of breakups is feelings. manners. respect. we didn’t part on awful terms so i’m not going to paint the internet scarlet with IT’S FUCKING OVER YEAAAAAAAAAH blog posts straight off the bat. i’m going to, bit by bit, emotionally make out of context vague references, as i always have.
and now if you’ll excuse me i have to go figure out another way to get attention.
ps. i dug on the coors light mention. you know, being interviewed on a good day is nerve-wracking. try it on a bad day, following a couple bad months. see what drink you go for.
Hey Raymi
I’ve followed you a lot over the last seven or eight years. All I wanted to say was that I hope you’re ok and that I’ll be thinking about you. Seems strange I can get bummed out over the break-up of two people I’ll never meet, but there you go.
party store post halloween, weird vibe. ‘specially from the above it teens working there. i think we did a good job in irritating each and every one of them.
girls nite out attire. i’d be game for that. elton john on the juke til dawn.
i could easily handle a room with the walls adorned entirely in curled ribbons.
yuh-awn. just look in the mirror, guy.
into that wig. daisy of love? i’d be good for one ridiculous marie antoinette wig for sure.
almost went there.
too masqueradey. too phantom. too geeky, essentially. grabbed a couple feather face pieces, one black, one white.
no discounts. don’t worry it won’t “be right” for “the costume” so we’ll have to return it sunday.
oh, hi.
just a dollar. it’s like they knew i was coming.
man, if it wasn’t for the sun, somedays i’d just. you know? you do.
it’s so easy to fall in love.
guys i have a vision ok so it’s like this: i emerge from this stump. yeah and then?
then, when i figure out how to turn around in it…
then you make it rain leaves all around me.
this is what i’ve been dreaming about. crazy girl on film, long dress, lying down (so lazy) slow motion emo running through the tall dead grass. oh and balloons. oh yes. there will be balloons. (hence party store)
OMG THIS IS SO GOING ON FLICKR.
UFO landing. sorry, signs.
fuh-licker.
recommend a new fly purse please. cheapo, el.
stupid astors. bladder is the last word you want to see when yer poundin’ brews.
a beautiful old man moment is captured. he was intensely considering something. saw it from miles.
the rest of the day’s goings-on (way too many s apostrophy thingers in a row there) can be found here.
check the globe&mail tomorrow. toronto section. goes up online too.
happy birthday mom love you! XOXOXOXO
Hey Raymi/Lauren.
I’ve been reading your blog for some time now, and I have to say that I’ve felt inspired to be
a better boyfriend just because of what you’ve been saying.
My girl and I have been together for only a year, and we are now living together, and I think
I’ve forgotten how to keep things fresh. People can often get stuck in routine, and I don’t ever
think that a relationship should be allowed to become a habit. You have to keep working at it.
Keep doing little things to remind the person that you love them, etc.
I wanted to thank you for indirectly reminding me of what I have to do to keep the one I love.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you, and I know it’s little consolation, but you maybe gave my
relationship some fuel to last.
here is what i have learned this week. shockingly, so many women, married, with kids, without, men too, boyfriends, girlfriends, so many of you feel trapped in relationships you’re unhappy in. unions you’ve stuck it out years for. YEARS. aside from the piles of comments (which are splendid thank you very much) coming in i have been receiving a gauntlet of emails, truly personal painful emails. long ones that take me ages to get through, like entire afternoons. not all sad, though the ones that stand out most are the sad of course.
but i don’t know what the answer is. for you. i just know that being unhappy for the sake of someone else is probably the stupidest life choice ever. i am not saying that is what i did but from my pedestal it’s easy to be like oh no, that’s what other people do. fall into.
look, i am likely the most annoying insufferable partner you can take on. i will smother the shit out of you. that’s my game plan, basically, and i have to KNOW EVERYTHING. i am super jealous and possessive. lazy. irritating. opinionated. but that’s not the point. the point is i am also fucking wonderful. i am a treasure. endearing. i will give you all of my attention and i will worship you. i make US my world. i do not self-serve. i will distract you from your pain and i will buy you stupid presents you do not need.
however, when someone stops being blown away by you, that’s when you have to leave. when the reasons why someone fell in love with you get choked (unintentionally) into submission that’s when you must leave.
i was told once that there were things about me that could not be replaced, or found in someone else. this is true but is it worth sticking it out with me because i say things in weird cute voices sometimes? (YES)(hahhaa)
my fear is that i morph men into fucked up pieces of shit like me, just the bad parts. apparently men aren’t jealous prior to me. pfft. well. i dunno.
when you’re with someone who is equally attractive as you, maybe even more so depending which way you look at them, or seeing them in action, how women react to them – it fucks you up. when you have some insecurities to begin with, shit gets crazy. one, you are constantly at battle with hovering women. then you are at battle with friends discussing said hovering women. then you are at battle internally over it and then you are also fielding shit from strangers on the internet. everyone tells you how you should be handling jealousy, ugh. look that’s all fine and good if the person i shouldn’t be jealous of was actually giving me some validation. if they came alive for me and not just for everybody else in our world.
in summation. i do not know. we are all feeling the same things on this planet. isolation, controlled, stuck, unhappy. it’s boggling that this is the way of the world and humans. that it degenerates into this. birth, courtship, marriage, unhappiness, death.
somewhat of a sidenote, periodically i get emailed from a recently broken up soul telling me that they were not allowed to read my blog because their past other half would not allow it and then it became “a thing” and basically i broke them up. that’s pretty ridiculous.
the globe and mail is coming by tomorrow to, not exploit but, “the idea is a new yorker mag talk of town piece” profile me. i better watch my mouth.
first question asked, “now, is this a publicity stunt?”
it’s been thrown around more than once. that astounds me. who would benefit from that, namely, what could be benefited from a fake breakup?
