aimee waited on this table once that made her set a place for their dead father who obviously was not present and they even ordered for him and expected her to act like he was there so she couldn’t lean over the imaginary person.
people are fucked.
i’da been like is your dad a big tipper?
last nite i crammed all of my winter crap (jacket scarf mitts hat) into a grocery bin when we got back and it looks funny. i’m officially a simpleton. right now a toothpick is funny even.
coolness update:
the two boy dogs, max and ollie, are constantly making out with each other. gay dogs are the best.
more important news to come.
tonite fil is making jumbalaya.
i have been alternating between two different shirts all week long.
i am reading fil’s creative writing reports from 1987 and all he wrote about was squirrels in the forest and louis the dog playing possum. nerd.
i feel like a big sack of boring fatness.
hung over.
remy sneezes to get attention.
that’s funny.
that’s lame that i find that funny.
maybe i’ll stare at people with the binoculars and send them telepathic messages to look up at the window at me from bajillions of feet away.
last nite i passed out in the i am fucking drunk position which looks like half of a somersault.
i am so romantic that way.
this guy was talking like crazy last nite during calla so we had to go stand somewhere else and this other drunkus malunkus was bragging about some guy named ray, some guy who lives in florida and come to think of it i think i actually know who he was talking about. fuck. anyway. it was a good show and fil got hisself a home-made hip hop cd for ten bucks, some jorgy porgy whatever. then we fought over a porkchop and ate salads and i was lying on the couch half asleep trying to get the salad into my mouth.
k bye
look at that drunk fat slob who i am pretending to be friends with so she will show us her boobs so we can take pictures and put them on the internet and i’m all yo baby yo baby yo!
so got my hair done and there was this catholic woman there who was also a bigot and claimed that she and her friends are considered the “yummy mummies” in town and i told her that religion is a crutch and she said black people are lazy and we were created different for a reason so races shouldn’t mix. she just wouldn’t shut up about her extremely rich trinidadian upbringing she was such a classist ignorant yuppie and there was nothing yummy about her. i was so fucking mad i just kept my mouth shut the entire time.
she said she couldn’t believe people who have no faith and how they could cope at funerals thinking that their lost loved one might not be in a better place.
you know what bitch, it’s called being realistic. when you’re dead, you’re fucking DEAD and your magical soul is DEAD TOO. there is no heaven there is no hell, fuck you, shut up. there is no such other being bigger than us who created us and is watching over us and helping us pfffft. life isn’t a disney movie. we don’t hang out in the clouds when we’re dead. your dead grandma can’t see you right now dude, she’s gone city and going to some building one day a week isn’t going to make you a better person.
the sabbath is a sham and the other six days are just mind control.
then she had the nerve to say oh when i was younger i was anti-religion too and since your grandfather was an athiest i hope he didn’t have a religious funeral. he didn’t but who the fuck is she to ask.
make sure the priest doesn’t diddle your kids.
i really miss my black hair.
tomorrow i’m having my roots done finally and i am going to demand all of the platinum in the universe so my dark eyebrows can stand out more than they already do and i will never ever wash my hair again because it will be dryer than hay and i can put it in different arty arrangements and people will go excuse me eccentric person coming through, no wait, i will be the one saying that to them.
if my hair was black i would probably win the lottery.
i walked to the supermarket with a stupid hat on and an even gayer scarf and these terminator sunglasses and i looked like a penishead loser and every step of the way there i thought about how if i saw me walking to the supermarket from my car i’d be like, you are gay and be pointing.
