YAY we have the internet at home! now i don’t have to go to that internet place anymore. now we are going to watch a scary movie that i will crap my pants to. it is called high tension though i don’t think i will be that scared because it is subtitled and reading makes things less scary. it’s french. it better be good sean!
i’ve been having terrorist dreams lately i dunno why. i wake up sweaty and smelly and angry and on-edge.
today i worked out in the i will probably be raped work out room.
last nite fil and i played buzztime which is an alternative to NTN. i opened my big trap and said HEY LETS BET STUFF! so i wagered the hat i had purchased less than an hour previous and fil wagered my 20 dollar book store certificate which i said he could have cos i’ve been sir mooch-a-lot the last little while. anyway, i fucking lost BIG-TIME! i didn’t even get to see what i looked like in that hat in the mirror.
so then we played again for our new razor blades but i gave up quick-time when samir called and moaned I NEED TO GET DRUNK so we met him at the bar around the corner and he told us about his snowboarding day with sharpie. sharpie met up with us and we went elsewhere for one more and yes fil was wearing his new fucking hat.
we’re at the bar and i see this dude sitting there with his pal and i said to sharp fil and samir HEY DOESN’T HE LOOK LIKE TOM ARNOLD and he sort of did, everyone agreed so i’m like DARE ME TO GO OVER AND ASK FOR HIS AUTOGRAPH!? everyone said NO but i did it anyway and once i saw the other half of his face i was like EEEEP totally SO NOT tom arnold. i felt very embarassed for myself.
then we discussed how everyone is all politcally correct about saying merrry xmas or happy holidays and i turned into obnoxiouslor and was all WHATEVER THAT’S SO BORING THAT’S LIKE BLOGGING ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS I THINK THAT SHIT IS ALL IN THE COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS BY NOW SHUT UP ALREADY.
so i dressed in my slutty ms. claus outfit for my neice and told her that i worked parttime for santa claus and she believed every word of my speech and i told her that it has to be kept a secret and i said that i would tell her all about the north pole someday and she said YOU’VE BEEN THERE!? it was adorable. i said santa couldn’t make it but he wanted me to wish her a very merry christmas and he knew that she was a very good girl and very smart and pretty bla bla bla.
upon reading fil‘s blog post i am convinced that my jaw is fucked because i kissed that homeless guy at the horseshoe on his beard/lips and got all this wet stuff on my face. vive le hepatitis b! i like kissing things when i am wasted. stray cats with fleas, homeless guys with zz top beards, you know, whatever.
ok turns out he isn’t homeless, he’s a hobo. he sells that poor people’s paper for sweet moohla and he practically lives at the horseshoe, you’ve probably seen him before. he lives down the street in a rooming house but just cos he has a roof over his head doesn’t mean there isn’t cooties all over him!
so yeah the right side of my face sucks right now, i can’t open my mouth all way and i don’t know what the hell is causing it. it hurts to chew, to open my mouth, to talk a lot. unghh. oh well.
so i almost got shafted out of a gift. we did kris kringle at my dad’s and my brother chose me but totally forgot about it and got my mom and dad each something cool and expensive and me a dinky napoleon dynamite hat but nothing else and it occurred to me last nite at my nana’s that i got fucked and then we got in a huge debate over it and my brother gave me forty bucks but was still pissed off so i gave him back a twenty. mum don’t open your big mouth and tell him about this post for once in your life!
