my mind was going manic lying in bed before deciding whether or not i was gonna get up or pretend like i could actually go back to sleep again. i was thinking of all these one-liners and shit and i couldn’t stop them they just come to me like how psychic people are all, “i am psychic” or how christians are just fucking insane, anyway.

i have a big hate-on for everything and everyone right now i ran out of crazy pills so that’s the theme of the day today GET CRAZY PILLS and elizabeth and her dog are coming along with me and fil and i told her not to dress jewish and by that i don’t know what i meant. she said she would leave her yammakuhs at home and i said why can’t religions have cool shit to wear like hi-tops?

she isn’t even jewish though she may as well be. and here she is on mushrooms as a skinny jew retard.

she also told me to mention that this photo was taken approximately 6 months before cowboy boots were cool again.

me, brother, cousin (lying down) – in montreal saying bye to great grandfather albert kerouac

ooook so last nite i met stan’s fiancee who I DO NOT LIKE. we were discussing the stag party rather fil and i were and i said sooo i am invited to this right and she cuts in ARE YOU GOING TO BE THE STRIPPER? all catty-like right. so i go out for a smoke so as to not explodify i even considered just fucking leaving before the second and third courses and walk over to my dad’s.

then later on she is bragging about her brother who writes on messageboards and so then i feel like ok she has redeemed herself cos i like talking about the internet and i say oh well does he have a blog and she goes i think so maybe but you wouldn’t want to get to know my brother he would cut you up and make you feel bad he doesn’t like people who try too hard and i’m thinking right a nerd who writes on a messageboard is going to make me feel bad.

anyway i thought i liked nerds and she helped remind me that i do not.

i asked stan why does your woman fuckin’ hate me and he said she was trying to out-hip my hipster and i said well i’m not a fucking hipster and i’m not mad i’m not “trying hard” to be mad it just comes naturally.

i’m going to google her brother now cos i remember the board he writes on lets go see exactly how fucking non-trying he is.

also way to make a great first impression lady. i officially do not want to come to your fucking wedding and i am so glad that i spent four hours eating dinner with you while you insulted me and scoffed at everything i said meanwhile i could have been hanging with my dad who is sad right now and wouldn’t ask if i was going to be a stripper.

fuck i am still so utterly fuckerly fucking mad about this!

jd fortune photo

Date: Mar 24, 2006 6:51 PM

Hey, I’m a gallery mod for a site totally dedicated to JD Fortune and I saw your photo. With your permission, I’d love to add it into our gallery. This is our site if you want to check it out first:

fortune448.com

Let me know!

Kara

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

also look who is second.

ok so i’ve heard of shrinkage buuuut….

caption this.

the GAY PARTY TAPE

I AM A RAP STAR by raymi

fuck i’m pretty
i live in the city
my life ain’t shitty
i dump on ya’lls titty
my blog gets them hitty
mad props hits the clitty
drinkin’ bottles of fiddy
mackin’ bitches left right and citty

‘dem writin’ songs ’bout me
what the shit they sayin’ ’bout you
nothin’ bitches nothin’
what they sayin’ mad true
this bitch be dope hittin’ slopes jumpin rope
what you husslin’ like me nope

stick wit it long ’nuff you’s get closer to them muff eatin’ gruff shit be rough not so much when the going’s tough touch the stuff hard enough when they hate give them dust

fuck me? fuck you your ass is tired you’re dirty foo
your life ain’t true you want ‘spect it ain’t hap’nin soon’s
you start them scribes you need to, little bit die
then you see we be comin’ from seen?

now imagine me poetry slammin’ that!

BEST SONG EVER – the pharmacist’s mate, amy fusselman

I LOVE MY MOM
I LOVE MY MOM
SHE’S NO SEX BOMB
BUT SHE’S MY MOM
SHE SENDS ME FOOD
WHEN I AM GONE
SHE’S OLD, SHE’S COOL, MY MOM RULES

I LOVE MY DAD
I LOVE MY DAD
I AM SO GLAD
THAT’S HE’S MY DAD
HE SENDS ME MONEY
EVEN THOUGH I’M BAD
HE’S OLD, HE’S COOL, MY DAD RULES

i just said Whatever and it blew my mind at how cool i am like i don’t care about stuff!!!!!!!!!!! i said it cos elizabeth said dude i am mad at vice for having anorexic models.

she said she was at the library but really she is here snapping her gum loudly and i am going to snap-attack if she does it one more time.

we decided that we are going to be anoreixc together. ANOREXIA-PACT! but it won’t happen because we are fat and drink a lot and eat a lot.

i put in my new piercing and it is tacky and cool at the same time so if i wear the right outfit i can pull it off like if i become insanely goth OR i dress very very feminine and wear nice billowy hippie dresses and have flowers in my hair and people will sigh and think about sunshine in a big meadow and then i turn my head and they are like whuuuuuuuut!? SHE IS SUPER DUPER COOL I AM GOING TO EXPLODE AT HER COOLNESS IT IS SHOCKING.

i like making up scenarios in my head that will never fucking happen and then i quote my scenarios to people in real-time and when they are like you are stupid i am like WHATEVER.

see, full circle of coolness.

SEEN!

jt punk’d spoof

ps. canada has mtv now!? i am waiting to see bunny. thanks a lot now i will get zero things accomplished.

so i went to my neurologist appointment yesterday and told him that i like drinking and i like being drunk cos he wondered if i really did have a drinking problem and my mom kept talking over me when i was talking and i swore a lot. he said that he had a friend that he lived with a bipolar person and it was scary and bla bleh bleargh i was pretty much playing the role of the annoying stubborn teenager and saying i get bored during therapy and i start lying and the guy repeats metaphors to me and i let him think he hasn’t already told me.

anyway.

then we went to see my grandma and we sang you are my sunshine together well first my dad and her did and it was an explosion of sadness and my mom and i cried immediately and then i sang this song that goes a you’re adorable b you’re so beautiful c you’re my lucky charm d you’re delightful e you’re exciteful f you’re a feather in my arm and i was choking on my words the entire time and she was smiling at me fuck that was hard. she’s not aware of what’s happening pretty much so if we are all crying around her it might wig her out i dunno.

there’s nothing that kills me more than seeing/hearing my dad cry it’s gut-wrenching.

anyway my dad and i met up with fil and martin at the pub afterward and my dad and i had a nice chat and it was good. we decided that when the dust settles we’re gonna piss off to england for awhile, my dad’s never been, it’s something he needs to do and i can play bossy i know everything about england person and control everything.

i told him now is the time to be selfish with your feelings and just fuckin’ cry and a bunch of other emo shit and it was nice.