today’s insecurity is me thinking about getting a nose job.

i am going to find my skinhead interview and put it up today you will LOVE IT.

then maybe i will go on yahoo chat and convince people i am jewish?

i feel very sick like hallucinatory sick i might have got something from the hospital i guess i should stop picking my nose.

i will be 23 years old in four days that means FRIDAY MARCH 31.

my throat feels awful and i am very weak but not weak enough that i couldn’t kick a ninja’s ass if he flew threw the window. i’d be all who do you think you are jackie chan and he would laugh and then we’d drink tea.

i forgot to tell you about the in-flight safety show. it was magical and i swooned and fil exploded and i reminded him about how he was looking at emily haines with “admiration” not too long back.

and i am not jealous of her despite it seeming so cos i write about her like everday. in the beginning i was and when fil went to the concert without me i was like WHAT WAS SHE WEARING and he said just a t-shirt and pants and i was like THAT FUCKING SLUT! haha. girls who wear t-shirts and are skinny are playing the i-am-so-amazing-i-don’t-have-to-dress-up role and like wearing a t-shirt is them basically calling me a fucking whore who wears too much eye make-up.

anyway in-flight safety sound like sigur ros and i cried a little bit when john sings pretty. when we chatted before the show i was like heeeeeeey and he didn’t recognize me at first and i said WELL WE ARE PRACTICALLY BEST FRIENDS ON MYSPACE. that’s me name-dropping. he said he liked my outfit and was all “layered” and i said LAYERED MADNESS which is an inside-joke i have with myself and if you really want to know you can email me. sigh.

this might piss you off. i know it would piss me off. and likely to start a I DON’T COPY HER SHE IS FUCKING INSANE BLEARHBLAAAAH WHITE TRASH SLUT BLAAAAAAA thing.

anyway i am on 25peeps.com so keep me there by continuously clicking on my picture. oh click other people too.

last nite unfortunately i did not get into catty fights though i did say to rob hey why don’t you go find a parade and rain on it and he liked that i said it and i liked that i said it and i told a few others that i said it too.

we have band practise today.

i have to retire my mocassins cos the left one is totally mangled homeless styles so i will probably take some emo photos of them with sunbeams coming in through the window and then write some stupid sucky shit so look forward TO THAT. then i think i might leave them out in the park and wait for a junky to come along and wear them.

i’ll have to put a lot of duct-tape between the sole and the boot which i pretty much have been rocking myself for the last several months. though now there’s no way i can fix them to make me look NOT POOR. sigh.

i realised this when i was walking around holt’s and i felt like everyone was mean cos they either really ignored the fuck out of me or they were thinking about my scummy left boot so i called fil on the fone until i safely got out of there and i will not go back.

and i know, i know, saying holt’s instead of holt renfrew is pretentious but i can’t remember if it’s holt’s renfrew or holt renfrew’s and i don’t care i hope everyone there will just get out of my life and shut up everyone who shops there too and the guy who holds the door open for you like you are important and greets you on the way out well not me but some other guy and he said HEY HELLOOOOO NICE TO SEE YOU and shook hands – WHY? is this guy super important and needs ass-kissing cos one day he bought a pair of pants? FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

just cos something is expensive doesn’t mean you should buy it and wear a ugly fucking hat on your ugly expensive hair you old ugly woman with a mink vest.

i could go on.

i will later.

i can’t wait until i am rich and stupid so i can wear a fucking flamingo necklace and have emu feather barrettes.

i feel like i wouldn’t like me if i met me.

i also took my zoloft too late so i am feeling lucid and uh, i need a better way to describe this missing-meds feeling, insanely irritable but lacking the energy to react or do anything about it, zombielike apathy and funtime self-destructive girl wheeee.

we walked over 7 km today and then we had a big nap instead of going to see a movie and i finished reading the pharmacist’s mate. now we are going to meet sharpie and others for MENTAL RETARDATION SATURDAYS.

i am going to drink gin and cucumbers and tonic until i am speaking spanglish.

oh yeah later we saw a girl with a black-eye who was wasted at the pub and she was bragging about being thrown out of the ‘firkin and how she and her friend were gonna go be lesbos and call idrinx and didn’t trust the atm machine which she kept referring to as debit. i love toronto sigh.