Hi. Me again. Yesterday late in the afternoon we went to our favourite park to feed the ducks and it was bananas. Or ducking futs. The night before we went and dumped all these crackers in the water and nothing I think ducks and fish abide by normal people sleep/eating schedules (LAME) but anyway today we will prob go back at the same time and do it again BECAUSE DUCKS. Maybe follow that up with a nap lets not get crazy now people. No lets.

Happy Pride BTW I love this photo I stole off Jezebel. Jezesmell. Love/hate those feminists, more so love. Anyway stroke thy inner gay all week long hey hey heyyy.

The carnies are coming. It’s HELL DAYS. Helle Poort. It’s neat that they have all these “things” in Holland that to me are strange or bizarre but no different than other things Canadians or Americans or Brits may celebrate. Like, Flag Day. What the hell is that other than the obvious?

That’s the Hell Day dog. If you see him on your property legend has it that SOMEONE WILL DIE. They are the messengers of bad news. Not necessarily that someone will die but PROBABLY. Or like, something Final Destination style and cos it’s farm country you’ll likely see the dog roaming a farmer’s field omg I just sharted.

Necklace park, favourite. Not actually called that but you know me by now I am an idiot. Just came back from there now and fed the ducks, it was adorable I don’t care how lame it sounds we are getting more and more Forrest Gump and kind of enabling each other to go full R-word today we thawed bread from the freezer, the good stuff, the rich brown bread and I like that because it’s not going in my mouth and henceforth my hips. Raymi 1; carbs 0.

Unfortunately they mowed down my daisy field though wtf. It’s nice and clean looking now but walking through it was uber whimsical and part of the to-ducks fun. Jerks. OH WELL.

Walky walk walk. Those are his vintage Nikes I made fun of once then he explained how they’re a retro look people wear here and I was like, still don’t get it. I hate that I come from a people of haters like elementary school back in bullying days everyone ripped everyone to pieces so if you wore pointyish shoes like these for gym class you were one of the poor kids. I remember that and it stuck. Frigging assholes. I wasn’t a “poor kid” but I saw how they got ripped on (don’t worry I was a leader and stepped in a lot) but now these NIKES are over a hundred Euros to purchase.

Look at my thumbnail I painted it pretty stupid. They’re getting longer again so the obsession continues.

SO science fiction retro robot.

I look pale and lip-less BUT my hair looks long, is getting long. You guys are fucked now I am going to be so hair flippingly arrogant. Platinum is fine if you abide by a healthy diet of no partying then it will have a better chance to rejuvenate and as we get older we grow less hair too so that’s also working against you. I can still feel hairs breaking every so often but with darker hair it grows healthier, thankfully.

Holding a whipping switch which is also part of the experience. First it’s a secret tickle on your neck or ear then you realize it’s not nature but Raymi then it’s a whip fight til the thing disintegrates. FUN.

Holy crap how fabulous am I. That’s one of my blog pose head tilt tricks. You’re welcome. Think I’ll insta this one. Later though it has taken all day to blog this garbage, hella ADD + I don’t finish posts in one sitting anymore. God bless Save Draft.

Sky porn.

Still holding my weapon cool cool.

I can’t wait to be tanned and jacket-less.

Okay dork.

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Yesterday ay 2:30 in the afternoon it turned into Helen Hunt storm chasing darkness then it drenched rain 2 months worth in 4 hours on Holland for awhile, we were on our way to Germany for lunch knowing this thing was about to hit. Always at the ass-end of June there’s a hurricane, the hot weather makes the earth go crazy bananas in pajamas. I took videos and pictures the whole way through then later on in the evening the moisture turned into condensation (mist) and blanketed the farm land like something spookyalamalooky, it is creepy and haunting and terribly beautiful in a UK kinda way. Not a good time for a night run (psychos) and after we fed our bitchy duck friend, a duck, and the fish and this one other idiot duck we saw every field enveloped in fog and it stayed light til past 10pm cos it’s solstice soon. It’s magical and eerie to drive through the pounding fog with wet branches slapping the windshield. Holy shit am I writing weather porn? Enjoy the video, pics on the way. It was scary driving in the rain btw at one point in this video it looks like we’re going to hit a truck and the song playing is pretty gitzy too. You know gino gitz, beats?

Okay bye.

Inside that white bag is duck bread obviously. MAD FOR DUCKS.

This one is ridonkulous. I’m smoothie bloated. Made three varieties today and I didn’t even crack open the smoothie book yet. All I bought was fruit last night at the market. Fruit and beer. Makes sense.

Made an amazing dry stir fry that strokes the almighty chinese food hangover craving. I didn’t over spice it for once. Added chicken that I flavoured in wasabi pepper sauce and garlic salt plus wok oil, curry and coriander. I am amazing.

Full on man cave day. My original flight back home was today, going back later next week instead now. Flex tickets are essential. Seriously sublet hunting if you know of anything lemme know. I heard you all missed me.

Pool water slide hair don’t care.

This suit gets a lot of attention that I can’t even handle I stare at the pavement.

Chuck Norris pants seeeen.

German sunset.

I did a lot of MY BOYFRIEND IS ANGRY updates today I mean he did.

okay back to stupid now bye bye.

Hi ho hi ho it’s off to blog I go. Like my new dress? Me too. Heartbreaker Fashion sent me two dresses and this week is the perfect week to wear them, it’s going to be even hotter tomorrow. Psyched. BF caught up on a bunch of work so he’s in a cool mood it’s gonna be awesome.

I look tired but I look pretty tired not fuck you’re pretty tired I mean I am pretty as well as tired. We shouldn’t even have gone out but after the week we had we needed some us-time. The 19 yr old step daughter who worked here was generous with the shots and she said she thought I was 24. She could not believe I was 30, it was like I told her I was fifty. Wuhoo. I tell ya being immature or having childlike qualities and charm will keep you young. My mom is my youth role model in that sense.

Gyro pizza. Kinda good kinda wtf, had the rest the next day for lunch. This post is going to be a crazy stupid mess (my photos have uploaded in a scatter) so keep those expectations down kay thanks. This is in Germany on Friday. A man at the bar asked me in German if I control my boyfriend but the waitress had to translate it, he was a lone barfly stirring the pot and I was like why does it look like he needs controlling? Can he sense the crazy? Then the man got all embarrassed when he realized we were going to need a translator and that maybe he should STFU. Like seriously don’t make comments to strangers who are in love with each other and meddle with that shit. I so wanted to know more though. I think his curiosity just got the better of him once we were taking photos is all but really it was supposed to be a compliment to me like please control me instead.

Afterward we walked around the castle it was 10 o’clock and twilight. Twilight means dusk right? No wait that’s when the sun comes up. Ask a vampire jeez. Anyway I wore stupes shoes for cobblestones and my injury but I still climbed up that hill without bailing.

Father’s Day orchids. When mum is like get him a purple orchid that is SO a gift for her I love it and hell fuckin yeah we’ll get you a flower it means we get to go to the flower store. I love any kind of outing cos I get to check up on the local peeps being all normal and Dutch, it’s bizarro land then someone usually interacts with me socially and I just go what? English please and they blush like cray. Then I get all this attention and it’s like sliding down an attention waterfall with stars and rainbows flying out all over the place around me and then BF drags me out of there.

Sis and I went for a bike ride yesterday it was lovely and fun and I bought this bike but have only used it once baha. Bike riding is religion here. People cycle in pairs and hold on to each other’s arms as if they’re strolling through a shopping mall with all the time in the world. I’m still a n00b though and have to be alert cos crap is coming at you from all sides, streets are charming and rounded not grid-like straight and perpendicular like in North America there’s intersecting bike lanes everywhere that turn into traffic lanes then sidewalks you can’t really tool around stoned or drunk until you know what the fuck you’re doing. Or have someone with you doing the thinking for you.

Love this park so much. It’s so hippie and when I look at all the teens and early twenties set I’m like where the hell did my youth go? I missed out. Instead of sitting around in groups on blankets with people my own age I was running around with bossy geezers.

Sis knows the guy who did this. She’s going to do a Minx Graffiti tag in my honour. Psyched.

Course when it’s on the internet it looks all obvious but when you’re in a bar shyly beating your way through “heren” looks just as feminine, which is dutch for male. Heren sounds like a bird and birds are like women. My brain is a theme park with rides a plenty.

This is a steep street, driving down it with bf is a trip. Going through tinier streets where the houses are crammed so close together and it’s a lane road that goes both ways and you don’t know what’s around the bend is nuts.

Even ghosts get scared.

Oh what a week. I have a lot to say but I don’t think I should. Just appreciate your life, the people in it and each moment that you have and be as healthy as you can cos when he’s coming for you he’s coming and that’s that.

I’ve had this kaftan since I was 27.

My presents came in the mail. They’re all in Dutch. That FOOD book is 400 euros in english, in dutch, 60. It has a picture of every single food, vegetable, meat, fish, under the sun it is incredible. When bf was like I got you a present I’m like is it clothes is it a ring it better not actually be a gift for you or a vacuum. Lol.

Smoothie breakfast is my daily job. He’s kinda a control freak but this thing is my department now. I put ginger in the blender once and it was like WWII Jesus Christ what a baby.

Sister is the best. I want to set her up with my brother. Would that be weird if siblings all dated like tic tac toe? What family isn’t weird though? She’s really happy I’m here and gettin’ attached and shit! We had a couple boys fall in love with us at this park then later on the same guys were at the supermarket and it got to the point of unbearable discomfort having to force a smile and hello every time we passed each other then the guy waited for us outside (I think it was probably for me but whatever lol) and it was like alright that’s enough stalker.

Mhmm mhmm. It’s funny to me that this is my local beer but in Parkdale it also was the extra few tallboys you throw on the pile of booze you buy, I’ve always loved Grolsch it’s like the piss water easy going down of beer. I know a lot about beer, I ain’t no brew master or craft beer dickhead dork but beer is beer lets not showboat around about it okay.

Do you like my wheels? My bike came with one of those wheel backpack things that professors would use, everyone has them here. See that thing over the back wheel that’s how you lock your bike so much handier than u-lock bullshit.

Here we go. I’m wearing slob clothes now cos I only want to wear my dresses when we actually go somewhere and I think I will sweat all over it today, but I’ll probably throw it in the back seat cos we’ll probs hit a patio after a walk.

We only had his Iphone with us for photos. Spooky. Anyway I gotta split. You’re welcome for blogging. xo rlw

All I kind of care about right now is MY BOYFRIEND IS ANGRY sorry. I’ll get back to “normal” blogging next week promise. Be sure to check MYBFISANGRY all de time kay cos I update it like cray.

Do me a fav too and spread the anger! Have a great weekend. Happy Father’s Day! Miss you Dad IOU a present.