thanks sean!

me: i am in a towel

Steph: jesus im in a bra
= no idea
and we are sexy

me: for real

Steph: i wish someone hadnt pointed out i wear alot of black

me: was that me
cos i think i said that once
i cant wear it too much on account of my hair

Steph: its all i can focus on now, how do i not wear black when everything i own is black

me: i should start wearing blond
i think u are good

Steph: ahaha thanks
ya you wear blond
and it wasnt you
you just said it about 1 outfit once
i cant remember who…

me: well in my head i say it like 749856 times everyday

Steph: AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
asshole

me: so it feels like i said it a lot already

Steph: ahahahhaaaa
ahahaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

me: like the ONE time i accidentally said you were flat
you think i said it 8756478 times

Steph: in your head you probably do

me: HAHAHAHAHHAa
I DIDNT EVEN SAY IT DIRECTLY IN REFERENCE TO YOU
i think you wear more black than you are flat

Steph: AHAHAHAH

me: but do you go to town on that NOOOOoooooooooooooo

Steph: so i am wearing KINDA black jeans and a grey tshirt. spice things up a little

me: omg so out there colour spectrum!

Steph: I KNOW !!!! IT FEELS SO CRAZY

me: OMG LOOK AT YOU WHAT ARE YOU A RAINBOW OR SOMETHING
that is like my ultimate favourite funny not funny burn

Steph: AHAHAHAHAHHAHA
im so proud
i might be wearing a black hoodie
and black boots
AHAHAHAHAHAHA

me: i wore a black hoodie to the liquor store on my bike yesterday, i wished it was nite so i could psyche out cars
my hood was also on

this broke my LOL cherry, for real i am cry laughing over here.

thanks tempy!

creatively lately i’ve been feeling kinda, blah, i’ve been having panic attacks, wigging out for no reason, i’m almost entirely certain it is booze related (edit* also it runs in the fam BIG TIME). i’m gonna have to seriously take’r easy cos i do not want a repeat performance come the nite of my art opening, yeesh. i might even need a ‘script for housewife chill pills, my mom is trying to lure me back to the wild world of anti-depressants, no fucking way, this isn’t depression i’m dealing with, it’s just straight-up anxiety. anyway, cos of the creative zap it’s harder to make dick jokes here for you, so instead i give you these interview questions i just answered for a profile for some other site whatever not important.

1) When did you start your blog, and why?

I started my blog in 2000, I have an obsessive/creative nature and I quickly found that blogging was a perfect outlet for that, at the end of the day if I still had a ton of steam to blow off I’d hit up the ole internet and write about something stupid that happened to me that day, I also saw the potential to become “known” and to practice being funny.

2) What is your favourite aspect of blogging?

There are no rules, no boss to answer to, it’s freeing.

3) How does your blog represent Canada?

Well by the places I habit and mention it is obviously a canadian blog, I don’t think my life is extraordinary or anything compared to other canadian’s lives, I don’t doubt there are thousands more interesting canadians out there leading crazier lives, the only thing is are they blogging about it or not? I am a bit perplexed by this question, I think it’s funny. Am I properly canadian enough? Does my blog prattle on about canadian politics? Fuck no.

4) What do you hope that your readers take away from your posts?

nothing, there isn’t really a grand statement to it, some come away incensed to all hell while others are inspired to start up their own little blogs. I see my blog as a way to kill boredom for me and for you and if some days there is a bit of genius to it, awesome.

5) What tips do you have for new Canadian bloggers?

Why just Canadian? hahah. Depends what you are wanting to gain from your blogging experience. If you are into crafts, lots of pictures of your creations, people love to live vicariously through your work. Don’t overdo it, don’t try too hard, don’t bombard people with a ton of crap and then get pissed when no one reacts, don’t be long-winded unless you’re being interesting and are certain people are still with you come paragraph seventeen, unless your story is New York Times height interesting, shut up.

6) Do you use any other social networks (twitter, facebook, etc)?

facebook, but i was just permanently forced into the new one, once any site changes its platform for the “better” or “newer” that means the glory days are over, seriously, i have about 30 unread messages in fb, it’s only good for creating events and alerting people to what’s going on but even then it’s a waste of time cos everyone clicks ‘maybe’ and never shows. You should never force your users to evolve when they’re not ready for it, facebook is myspace for conformists who worry what people think and as for twitter, ugh, if your blog needs a blog that’s a bit much no?

7) Tell me a bit about your book (and others that you may be working on), and how it relates to your blog.

My first book Marketable Depression is basically about how when I was younger I was depressed then did some drugs, dated some assholes, went crazy etc etc. I have another one that’s going to be published soon as a chapbook, just excerpts from a larger story, I don’t actually know which parts the editor is choosing, i feel a bit distanced from when i initially wrote it cos it’s been awhile since i’ve looked at it, once that’s out i’m going to republish the rest in its entirety. I feel a bit stressed thinking about it, I feel like I should be focusing more on my writing and I don’t. Writers constantly feel guilt over not writing and all eventually kill themselves, whether by drink or other hands-on means. Right now I’m getting together pieces for an art show october 7, i’m focusing on that.

8) How would you classify your blog?

Basically my blog is what the inside of my brain looks like – narcissistic, bipolar, obnoxious and constantly embarrassed by all of it.

Hi Lauren,

I am Phil’s cousin, we met at my parent’s house on Saturday I saw your pictures and have attached a couple more ones showing you playing Texas Horse Shoes. It was good to meet you and even better watching you beat up on my cousin at the game.

The Story of Menstruation is believed to be the first film to use the word ‘vagina’ in its screenplay.

OH AND THE OFFICIAL DATE OF MY ART SHOW IS NOW TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7! TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7! TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7! TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7! TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7! TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7! TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7! TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7! AT THE CENTRAL!

not my title, i’m not that lofty, or gay, ripped from NOW mag’s description of sidecar‘s sunday to wednesdsay dinner menu, which fil and i tried last nite and it was the most delicious meal had in ages. for $22 you get a choice of two salads or soup for starter, and for your main a selection of four dishes available and dessert on top of that.

bonus points for pre-softened butter.

v cozy atmosphere.

amazing caesar salad with pancetta, very heavy garlic w/ equal part anchovy flavour.

fil chose steak frites, A+.

to be perfectly honest and fair, my roast chicken was the show stopper and i felt sorry for fil. asparagus, delicious potatoes and two pieces of chicken, great skin, mysterious jerk-type jam-like gravy, i bet the proper description is on their menu online i’ll get it in a sec. k all it says is this Oven Roasted Chicken, asparagus, mashed potato, pan juices. i’m drawing a blank at what you call that stuff, it’s not exactly the consistency of chutney, well maybe it is and i am an idiot. it in no way overtakes the dish, don’t worry.

oh man i’m on the fone with fil right now and we’re moaning and groaning over how food pornorific this dinner was.

chocolate mousse raspberry coulis SO FUCKING GOOD.

we already want to go again, who’s in?