i recommended to this dude last nite he buy this push-fertilizer spreader rather than the hand-held spreader cuz he could drink a beer whilst pushing at the same time, whereas with the handheld, you must solely spread the fertilizer and u can’t hold a beer.

i am master of the art of customer service

little did the guy know, i assembled that push spreader the previous day, and i accidentally put the wheels on backwards, so johnny and i wedged the axle between two skids and took the better part of an hour running at it and trying to kick off this stupid wingNut. it was ridikulous. if he ever looks at the underside of the damn contraption, he’ll notice many a scratch and scrape a la Raymi. at first, the instructions i was using blew away when i left to go help a customer. so then i used the french set of instructions but then THEY blew away when i was trying to kick off the wheel i put on backwards. then i was doomed to put it together with no guide but johnny, the king of lazy stoners, standing there laughing at me.

“ok. whats hotter?”

a girl who can roll a nice joint and smoke with theboys while keepin chill as well as bein entertaining

or

a hot girl with big tits who wears a mini skirt at all times but is dumb as shit and doesnt smoke dope cause it makes her tired???

this is what RayMi thinks

the girl who is smart and can roll is better becuz she is most likely the better lay. hot girls just lay there like cold fishes cuz they think their hot/dumbness is enuff to get ‘em by. the girl who rolls joints is cuter and friskier cuz she’ll wrestle with you in her cute boy clothes and jump into a pool with you fully-clothed and then she’s all wet and hyper and ready to go. the “hot” girl is annoying and high-maintenance and a pain to be around cuz all she talks about is her clothes and what such-and-such is up to and she probilly never shaves her snatchHair. ew. the rolling-joint girl will let you show her your boner and will let you look at her pussy when she’s all baked and will sleep over with you and cuddle. the “hot”girl has to go home early to get her beauty rest and she is uncomfortable in her high heels and short skirt sitting cross-legged at the bush party and she can’t run and jump around with the rest of the boys, she has to stand there with her arms-crossed, sober as a stone and sighing. she is also a bitch and manipulates the dorkiest, loser of the bunch into driving her home.

the girl who rolls yer joints has the potential to be drop-dead-gorgeous when the time calls for it and u’ll want her more, kuz when you hang with sumwun who is a hottie and they look and dress like a hottie all the time, you are de-sensitized to it and eventually, they are not hot anymore. you are more appreciative of the rolling-joint-girl and her hotness when she gets all dressed-up and u eagerly run to hump and hug her cuz she’ll let you, the hot girl won’t let you kuz she has to be an open-card to all you boyz, cuz you must all like her and if it appears she likes one of you over the other than she is a failure and must branch-off to another group where she can hold u all in the palm of her hand. once you see the “hot” girl all dressed-down and casual like the rolling-joint girl, she looks out of place and still has her cake-face make up on and looks like a clown in sweatpants, all name-brand and squeaky clean.

whats’ up with chix wearing short shorts and plastik sandals the very first hot and sunny day? their toenails are gnarly and their heels all dry and red and still irritable from the cold weather and their legs so pale and chalky

ew.

damn dem leafs

muttermuttermutter

having the munchies after beer when there is no fude in the house is so sad

i concocted a platter of half-assed popkorn and bbq steak, cold and co-agulated frum being in the fridge for 2 days, pizza pop, more beer, half a boiled potato with pepper on it (also in the fridge for 2 days)

more beer

………..Then the leafs lose and i get this awesum idea to give myself a haircut from the back of my neck. i am a dumbFukk

arrg.

i was bored at work the other day so i put this NaturOil in my hair to make it greasy, then i made it into a moHawK and kept a straight face with each customer i served, dark circles under my eyes for an added bonus.

i hate women who shop in hardware stores. they don’t know anything and act all helpless,
“Maybe we should ask the man to help us? He knows what to do? No?”

gawdDammit. i have arms too u Re-fucking Tard

i mauled down a tiny chinese woman in the post office on my way out

we were both walking towards the door, and it was established that she did not plan to move outta my way, or me outta her way

so i bodychecked her

it’s ok though, cuz she always gives me attitude when i am there buying stamps

i hope she learned her lesson

i feel like i have nothing smart to say about anything and i hate that

hihi
i sat beside this paki guy pervert on the bus frum buffalo to manhattan and ffuk
skarey,
“you know, if you are wanting to sleeep u can just lie down on me.”
he saw me reading the new vice issue and his eyes popped out when he saw sum bare ass and asked to read the”BOOK” when i was done
he couldn’t read english very well at all but stared at every picture for 2 minnits
THEN
he disappears into the bathroom for 15 skarey minutes doing gawd knows what
i did not sleep a wink
then he gives me name and address to visit him in jersey.
yeh ok sure

Ahmed
9 Sanhican Drive Apt.#17A
Trenton, New Jersey

609 396 0771

give him a ring and tell him hi for me

i asked him whut he thawt about vice and he just leered at me and nodded like he was in agreement with me on sum secret thing. i read to him frum journal about all these stupid things i did over the summer in england and he sed my brain was very smart for my age. he was from sudan and sez it is not legal to have girlfrend there, you must be married which was a bad idea becuz that got me talking about how sum cultures treat their women worse than the family dog, genitalia mutilation and on and on. he barely understood me.

when we got to port authority he followed me to this diner place while i waited for my boy to come get me and i let him buy me a blue powerade and sum buttered toast and this is when he gave me his address and number.

ew.