Hi i am here but why LOL

so a lot has changed since i last blogged and i dont even want to do it anymore although a huge part of me does but i dont even feel compelled to explain myself about it like i owe anything to any of you and i recognize thats a massively negative and defensive place to start from but you have to kick it off in some fashion no? i guess i am just angry and when i am angry i cant create i am not inspired like when i am happy i want this blissful blog post for you all to ooh and ahh at but thats not what life is. life is hard and its fun and its hard and its just long. i want to talk about my past experiences about why i stopped writing but i am also incredibly guarded now as well as protective so i eek out tweets and social media mumbo jumbo memes from a place of smugness and i dont care-ness and think ill eventually get at’er again but for now i use social media as therapy like how i blogged as therapy but my personal life got to me so i just fuckin stopped it all. i wanted to expose people for what they deserved and what they did to me and i grappled with it like it was going to be this huge thing if i spoke out but also i think why should they be protected? how can i help other women if i am silent? why am i paying for this blogs hosting fees flickr google storage all that crap and not actually blog or use it? why should i allow my fire to be extinguished? yes i know this post is a grammatical nightmare and i dont care u dont have to read any of it yet i know that u will this is how blogs were formatted when i was 17 and how i wrote for many years spilling out of my head i am back baby.

xo raymi forever

ps. i will buy a mouse so i dont have to write like a dipshit here anymore bye