I think we’re a blog meow

Hey fuckers. Sorry for being a shitty blogger. Good writer. Crap blogger. What guy, I be busy! As balls maybe even. Are these enough excuses can we move on to the party now? Great.

Truth be told my life is filled up with so much more you know nothing about. I know how bloggers look, can look. So easy, so lazy, so whatever. Trust me, there’s a lot else “going on”. I don’t know why it seems to be ok to attack bloggers, who are essentially just artists when in actuality they be hustlers and it’s a struggle sometimes. When you have idle hours you become what is known as “the fixer” and you never actually have any fucking spare time! And perhaps if you do it’s taken as necessary spare time because you might be afflicted by copious, various, mentall illnesses and/or hangovers (lol) resulting in mysterious and atrocious lower back pain rendering one to soul search the hell out of their lives for the past 72 hours.

But alack, a fog has lifted. I have decided to get something Dr. Claw level gangster office chairish in nature. I’ve sat so damn much in front of a computer for 32 years I don’t think this office chair is cutting it anymore. I was really depressed the other day because I was bedridden and I really wanted to write a couple chapters for MY BOOK THAT I AM FINALLY LEGIT WORKING ON but I had to lie in bed sharing shit from buzzfeed and whatnot on facebook, twitter, etc, and feeling like everybody hates me and I am annoying them with my opinions about Will Smith and Caitlyn Jenner. Instead of writing what I really wanted to write and start to change my fucking life around but nooooooooooo am probably dying of kidney failure instead.

I bailed on trivia which also made me feel like a dick. Went to this diner that has “good food” then laid on the couch the rest of the night somewhat in a coma. I just couldn’t sit up in a char all night at our regular so I had to bail. Unless it is socially acceptable to lay down in pubs now I do not think I will be able to attend.

I finally spoke to my literary agent and told him the good news about the book redirection and how I am super 100% focused on it. “It’s time” and all of that. I am going to take a more dedicated approach this time because I know between the two of us we are both too passive about this process. We have to figure out if it can be fiction or non-fiction too because I don’t want to get sued. I am shelving How to be famous on the internet for now. I never really wanted to write that stupid fucking book anyway. I mean I did but all these things have happened since I first started writing it in Deep River I feel like I am gigantically a different person now. I am going to keep the domain though in case someone wants to buy it from me. I’m not closing the door on that book though because I still have 3/4 of it written. It’s gonna be my backup next book perhaps once this sexy one is done.

I just wanted to check in here with you in case you cared and kind of plead my case because my back is always against the wall because that’s the cards I’ve been dealt so I play.

Have a cool weekend everyone!