HI. What’s happening.

Time to feed the monkey blog.

Have you had a beergarita before? It is exactly as it sounds and leads to exactly what you think it will.

No not this. Well, maybe that. I was wearing this yesterday morning as I dumped the kettle full of boiled water onto the kitchen floor splashing a ton onto this and I’m very lucky it just seeped through a little on my upper thigh, yikes. I know someone who couldn’t walk for a year from being burnt by hot water.

Those things look painted on haha. Hey can I get a cheesy fake pair of shorts painted on for MY look? Grool!

The drive back from Wasaga was pretty. After all that shit you’re like ugh more pictures great.

The mother ship coming in to take me away.

Wore my polarpiece onesie last night and he was like are you going on a spaceship? Going to get a moon rock? Moon Rocky. We carry on and on like this.

One of the several spaceships we’ve gone through since arriving back in Canada. The Lincoln was pretty tops. We still have the Chrysler which is a little too balling (pic coming later on in post) so we’re going to trade it in for something cheap and lame like a Kia.

Thaaaaat would be my shoulder.

En route to Ottawa, faded hair.

There was a thing on this place in Vice years ago, some hipster who worked there or hipsterdom appropriated the gem. I remember reading it but funnily, can’t remember anything about it.

Except it was about apples. Good luck.

Barn porn the whole way there and perfect calendar shots sky setting.

The e is silent. Maybe like the four people from Bellville who read this thing would get that.

This camera is 30x. Or “dirty zoom” is what it sounds like coming out of bf‘s mouth. I was against getting it why spend half a g on a camera when you have an amazing one already, the one I/we used in Holland and Aruba. But now I see. Don’t you.

Forgot to take pics on way to the bymark market (is that what it’s called Ottawa Raymis?)

I know these days people are “too cool” (no you aren’t!!!) for pictures but he’s genuinely interested it’s like when I first/use to have passion for blogging, constant photos however this is for tourist purposes, you travel you photograph he does and he does also it gives me an excuse to do it again, know what I mean?

We got a discount here cos I complained about the maids and after that was completed the desk chick was like you know they ARE really loud. WHAT!!?? Why do you hire loud maids at 8am-noon don’t you know we’re sleeping off a party? Jim Morrison would throw a tv out the window. It cost me sleep but saved me $100. WORD. To my fellow cheapskate princesses you know who you are, complain complain complain always complain IF (and only if) something displeases you.

Other than that it’s a great place and you should totally stay there.

And then Snow Lauren White powered up for the night ahead.

Lawrence Jameson esq. I’ve worn flip flops all summer long. Injured yo.

Dinner. Smoking on Ottawa patios is toasted, so the places out here that still permit it “enjoy that shit” cos it’s going to be completely wiped out soon.

Great peep watching over there.

Zucchini slices deep fried, forget what they’re called but copy it Toronto. Brilliant. 1. Serve with sour cream 2. bring to my house.

New fun burn of the day, hey what are those guys, M&M’s?

Back on the road again for a 2 hour drive to Quebec, and near it.

Hanging out in Burl Thursday, we walked to the bar and played Dutch darts aka make up your own rules/scoring method. It’s easy, each have your own dart board and throw your 3 darts then it’s “who did better?” and if it looks close you just decide (fight) over who threw the crappier/furthest from bullseye. Eventually darts start hitting the floor which just washes the whole thing out and your opponent wins.

Fungerous! Not to be confused with fungus.

Getting ready for the ball. Thanks Heartbreaker Fashion!!!! Perfect dress to match Shannon’s wedding.

Oh you guys!

Safe to say that was my pose of the evening. Shannon wins for biggest mouth.

Kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty!

They don’t have anything like Airport road in Holland so it became, a thing again. Normal Canadian stuff like variations of landscape are like THRILLHOUSE to him. Especially cos he drives like a maniac too so I’m like hey get a load of this! AGHHHHH.

Evangelists expecting vandalists. (Yeah I know that was a good one). Jesus chill.

How much do I look like a cabbage patch kid. We were born the same year.

Here is a closer look.

Oh yes on our way to Beergarita.

It was like Africa (lion king) wanted us to get plastered. I couldn’t tell you one shape of any continent if you paid me but Africa is the funniest also it’s all lit up hot and red, desert like.

Some serious cloud forms this summer yeah.

And we always have a sick camera with us so why not.

And then we met this guy.

Sweet hair. You may as well just do the whole thing at this point. Animal cruelty more like animal RULEITY.

This is where chocolate milk comes from. My bf always tries to test my stupidity by saying that. Nice try didn’t get me this time.

Cute. I bet they have a lot of candles there.

Every time we see a cop we go oh look there’s your friend and then slow down. I mean, continue at our legal average pace!

Oh look there’s your friend but this time I mean it. We fed sunflower seeds (shelled) and unsalted to them, they preferred the salted (had a bag of each). Salt is a killer, next to sugar. So I wasn’t surprised they turned their beaks at my healthy piles of boring unsalted seeds being Wasaga-McDonald’s french fries-fed/raised seagulls and all.

The more things change the more they stay the same.

From across the street I go WTF does that guy’s shirt say? Yeah no shit! The back said I love my crazy gf as you can see from the below post.

A good zoom in like I said.

Our ride. Every time we meet up with people they’re like and what car do you have this time (so they can find us) then their reply “ok Ahahahahha”.

I just wish there were more signs in this picture, more words and colours I don’t feel blasted enough.

Jackpot.

<3

Hi Corinna! Man we had such a good time hanging with everyone. Weddings are longest parties ever, mission parties. Very fun.

One more purpley couple pose. coupurple. I am a smart.

Orig pre-insta.

My friends think I am four (gave me that hook).

I had to crop out prancercising toe. Not ashamed but you just know some big mouth will say something.

Okay part 300 Canada aventure c’est fini.

One of my favourite songs, first time seeing the video. The original.