Do you want to be my toyfriend?

Hi buddies. Happy hump day. Put my Flinstoner dress on yesterday then hit the road for some fun in the sun. The last and only time I ever wore this thing was Christmas. A girl goth eyed me up and down in it and I told bf this is like a prom dress to a goth for sure definitely, combined with my tattoos she could not stop staring a hole through me to think if I opened my mouth and said something in Canadian I bet she would have asploded into goth poetry. My heart has a bleed-on for summer time goths cos my inner emo kinda is one. If I could have given her this dress I would have kinda thing and I wasn’t even drunk, just thirsty. Sometimes I think I am like so nice like look out everyone NICE JUST ARRIVED floor it!

Amsterdam picture of the day. I’m going to do a dedicated Amsterdam post yet don’t worry (worry) instead of just farting them out hither and yon instagrammish. This street and there are many is a little Champs Elysees.

An upcoming set (within this post) of me trying to climb a sand dune hill. Wow, imposs. Lots more healing to do.

Those are Wisteria flowers. Gorgeous. This photo is being spread around tumblr yay original content for once.

Happy a kid’s swing set can support me no problem.

Before walking through the forest to the watering hole, an actual watering hole not a bar euphemism for once, had to take some field shots. This is in Holland. Needs to be said I feel cos we go to Germany so often. Kinda makes me think of Inglorious Basterds a little. Shosanna! Love her.

Minus the running for my life.

He wanted to line my head up with the windmills but it didn’t work out. I mooned the camera in one photo but it has been so long since I posted a nude I don’t think I could handle the backlash and nasty remarks from angry mean people anymore, I mean I can handle it but it’s super annoying like really? From all the nudity and saucy stuff on the web you have to hyper focus on me still? Thank you for ruining good times always.

One of our regular places to go for a stroll when we get stir cray. There’s a path all along the swamp whatever. Bit of a land locked country, where we are at least so not much water for the Dutch to enjoy which makes me chuckle cos in Canada we are spoiled by bodies of water.

Not only was the water brown it was cold not that I walked all the way down to it f that. Wish I knew we were going here I’d have brought a bikini.

It’s pretty steep. Not the wisest place for a stroll. I had numerous visions of rolling down the hill and falling in. Uneven sandy terrain and my ankle don’t mix but I’m not going to not try.

Glad it was pretty deserted otherwise lots of crack for one and all to see. Pretty sure a man and his dog peeped my butt when I was sitting down in the sand on bf’s shirt with my dress hiked up so as not to get it sandy. Free candy!

He was laughing at my plight then started capturing my slow mo ascent for you guys. Aw my crab, my monkey. Monkey is my nickname btw cos we climb each other like monkies.

Yesterday I learned that limping uphill is hard shit.

And that I haven’t a clue how to do it gracefully.

Shut up I hate you no fair.

At least my hair is getting cuter.

Omg this sucks look I have three fingers.

Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh guhh.

Lefty is the bad foot. Guess I’m takin’ a T-O here?

Out of here.

Doesn’t look like The Netherlands does it.

They have trees in Holland what?

If I fell it would probably be like those fail videos of people being dragged face first through the sand when they go parasailing on vacation ahhaa painful. More like Parafailing.

Cool crouch walk dude. Here I fucking come.

He’s smoking while inspecting the water, what are you French? ILHim.

I said this is just like Aruba. Cue five minute laughter.

A bro and sis were playing hooky over there. Everyone says hi to each other here. If you’re off walking in the middle of nowhere, some farmer is going to say hi to you. I like that.

Woah time to dye my hair.

Pine cone fight.

I love nature.

I look at this and all I think about is my ankle. I went over on a root on the path and my ankle bent funny, the bad ankle and then I just exploded in sighing. This post should be called the bad ankle sorry for talking about it all the time but it’s a constant thing. Wait til I get home and you have to hang out with me you’ll see.

I’ll make it up to you though. Just steal a shopping cart and push me around.

Then we went to Germany and saw German Barbie’s stretch limo.

Then I wanted to die in this dress in the sun.

Obliterated. Bf was like that’s non-alcoholic right? Baha.

They let us take our happy hour 2 for 1 drinks to go as long as we brought the glasses back so nice. Of course we will not going to drive with them duh. We shared a pizza. Don’t eat pizza in the heat wearing a tight dress after a few sugary booze drinks unless you are stupid like me.

Was actually happy a big cloud came by for awhile it was super hot out.

We fed the ducks with bread from the day before’s dinner in Germany. I love when they bring a bread basket I always think of my duckling friends something I inherited from Tray Cray. Hi mom!

Orig.

Instagram. Someone said they want to marry me. #stillgotit.

Watching these dogs was the best.

What are you guys up to over there?

Jesus dog.

Okay stuff to do now BYE.

Dalmatian horse says hi.