TGIFU time! Love it. See that can? My bf kicked it away when we were getting in the car to leave and it rolled down the street for like an hour, funny little details like that make the world go round. Cans too. He said it’s still rolling and I’m like what, really? Then we froze in silence and I could hear it from inside the car tootling away bahahha.

So after we finished up hanging around some vintage cars and canal boats we got back on the road making our way to Amsterdam. I felt like total carbage. We went to Germany the day before then stayed up late playing video games drank-a-lanking, got up early-ish and were out the door by noon before I could even finish my morning ritual of water coffee smoothie pooping and suffice it to say now bf knows not to force me out the door before I am ready because it ruins his day too gaddamnit. Anyway those be tulips, maybe next time there’ll be some tiptoeing through them.

Seriously can someone please explain the damage what was (RIP dude not speakin’ ill of the dead here) Tiny Tim thank you. He’s kind of a genius right, like Crispin Glover with a Tim Burton filter. Back to MY LIFE now though.

This is Urk. It was a holiday, Pinksteren, something religious and as luck would have it the inhabitants of this town are super ultra all about it and donned their traditional Dutch attire. They look like Amish Mafia to me. The guys have these clinky golden earrings it’s pretty badass and I couldn’t help but feel suspicious of all of them.

They don’t walk around like this all the time that’s why my bf said we were lucky.

Lotsa this. At least it didn’t rain.

Lotsa that.

Ooh sweet.

Look at the jealous stares at the pretty one. International jeals.

She’s super owning it though. Their bonnets have gold and/or silver balls that jam into their cheeks and look like cheek piercings.

Very narrow topsy turvy streets. Everything was closed because of the holiday maybe things were open til noon but we didn’t get there til 2 or 3? One place was open by the water and that’s where everyone was strolling by to people watch and take photos of the boats on the water. We were fungry it was a funger emergency thank god for that place. A German fisherman directed us toward it and when we drove off I asked if he was the R word cos he spoke so slowly and then my bf imitated how he methodically directed us for a half hour, it was cutelarious. I wish I could type how people speak here, I don’t even know how to describe it. I’ll make a video one day.

I went in here to wee and check it out maybe infer as to taking the table out front plus getting their attention (hate waiting for service) but then I’m like oh yeah there is no way they’re going to understand me. I just pretend I am invisible everywhere and force my way into bathrooms.

It was coldish. It’s always coldish. I’m always coldish. Yesterday it was 7. Last year on 23 May it was 30. THIRTY. By the time it gets hot I won’t be here. Great.

It’s all about the scenerey and fish though. Name that bit of Canadiana 90’s culture album. Try not to google it you tool.

Although they’re wearing clogs the dudes look pretty badass. If all my Dutch bros were wearing their funky outfits and I wasn’t I would run the hell home and put mine on too. Once a year guy, do it.

Those guys had the gold earrings on too. They look like gypsy earrings. Like a secret club. Their dialect is a bit different than regular Dutch not that I can discern the difference but bf can. He would laugh at certain things he overheard but then also not comprehend some things. Like Amish slang maybe?

Buh buh buh boats.

Ruh Ruh Ruh Raymi.

Perspective makes these look the same size but they’s ain’ts.

So I guess if we have a kid I’ll be allowed to dress it up like a Dutch doll. Yay.

Derno why the folks weren’t dressed up too though I think I’d feel like a self conscious moron after checking out the mom’s heels. Nice.

Super cute.

Super cute. No idea how he can just wear a t-shirt. Such a dude.

This is gonna be good.

Oh aww. It’s okay the dog dissed me too.

Haahaha. Hi friend. This is my desktop background. Can’t wait for Cray Tray’s commentary.

New flickr is making things take ten times longer btw thanks yahoo ps. thanks for tumblr take over too ya jerks.

Good thing I wore my gypsy hoops that day.

Just wait til that hair is longer. Whip it flip it good.

I’m gonna dye it this weekend. Darker or lighter? Or should I stay in the hair extensions colour family in case I need to rock ‘em?

Keep it nautical bro.

Bikes need hugs too.

This guy reminded me of my Uncle Rodgey. He had a slice of apple pie and a glass of red wine. He was ignored for ten minutes when he first arrived and was calm enough about it, when he showed up to the table beside me that had crap on it still from the previous patrons he stood in a am I allowed to sit here? daze and I gestured Yes you can sit there. He sat to my right instead, weirdo. Bf was like ew red wine and pie? I thought you don’t understand red wine you are not allowed to talk shit about red wine. Red wine all mine gimme gimme. Yesterday was sober day btw.

Finally. I ate half of this schnitzel. Holy schnit I felt like schnit afterward though, something was off, maybe the mayonnaise I dunno. BTW if I ever open a schnitzel place it’s gonna be called Holy Schnit!

And that cheese looks passed it’s prime too. This is what your sandwich looks like, make it yourself jerk off.

Boat porn.

I should photoshop the sky blue.

Do they have trees like this back home? They grow spread out like their arms are linked and make for great au natural fences.

Huwwo there.

Stay fishy Urk.

This cat would be kidnapped back home. Persians are expensive.

We’ll have that one.

Tulips two lips mwah.

Lots of bugs got murdered on our windshield.

I’m going to upload a windmill video after this long ass post.

Next time we are driving straight to Amsterdam. It’s exhausting doing everything in 12 hours. We pulled it off though, barely. A few times we almost gave up on A-dam. So glad we didn’t.

I always think of Toys and Robin Williams when I see these.

Finally some pinks and reds. Caught them too late. Need to jump in a field for a proper photoshoot.

Livin’ on the water holla.

Oh hi.

Oooh. Where’s Jack Sparrow?

This is in Lelystad and also featured in that Holland promo ad yay. Super cool.

I’ll look into what he’s called and why he’s shitting I mean sitting like that.

Food trucks what look like garbage trucks.

Volendam you. One more stop before Amsterdam. I was completely falling apart by this time. Had to go toilet. Once I had a soda water (with vodka) I felt loads better, the bubbles settled my tum and I was finally able to finish my morning business. Sitting in the car for hours when you didn’t sleep much the night previous makes it hard to be alert for all the neat things you see along the way.

My shoes got stepped on a few times walking through the crowds. Remember I have an injury and can’t walk properly, plus it’s all cobblestones and drunks and the shoes are too big, dumb move. Once your shoes get scuffed you can relax a bit only after screaming fine I don’t care anymore step on me arrrrrrgh! The cold is taking it’s toll on me too.

Bikes everywhere. Wait’ll you see Amsterdam. It’s crazy.

Glad I don’t crave sweets otherwise I’d be a house from all these opportunities. This family walked into my shot like a second before I took this thanks guys!

If we weren’t so crabby and carbage discombobulated we would have ripped it up with these fine folk. It was enjoyable to see them all singing and yell-talking, dancing and drinking. There needs to be places like this in Toronto. Strangers need not be strange to each other when lushing out.

Oh don’t be like that.

I wonder how Psy and Gaga liked this place?

Everything makes me nervous now thanks to my ankle.

Cougar cruiser hell yeah.

Do you wanna talk about it?

I haven’t pooped yet I can tell. I tried, it didn’t crappen until my second loo go at it. Once you hit thirty this is what you start blogging about I guess.

He told me to put my arm around him. My bf not the statue, statues can’t talk idiot.

Faking it. You only get photopportunities every so often so suck it up.

I first ever heard about this from Xiaxue’s blog she went with her mom to try it out. Fish clean/exfoliate your feet for you. Neaters.

I dunno. Maybe one day for fun sure I love zany experiences.

Look at the price, do they do pedicures too? Lawl

Psy!

Robbie Williams.

Bf’s mom thinks these are photoshopped.

Ahahha that one is definitely photoshopped. Baby Bieber pouty face on the body of a kid.

Yeeeeeeeeeah, Obama? Dubious. Unless they arrived incognito though the first lady goes out all the time undetected so who knows.

Every third word or so on the news is similar to English, I’m getting better at grasping wtf is going on.

Orange is the country’s colour by the way.

Busted.

They sat like this for an hour. I must say I don’t at all miss my phone when out and about. The more you’re on it the more you’re not present in what you’re doing. Eventually the fine art of conversation will be lost. Sad.

I’ll upload this video too. People just everywhere. It’s a great camera.

Love all the different soda water varieties I get served here. I always order it like this, soda water AND vodka cos I’m afraid they’ll bring me coke and vodka and assume soda means pop. Back home vodka sodas are religion.

At first you’re like this is so adorable I am realizing my Snow White dream then you get dive bombed and scream each time one comes out of nowhere super close to your face at your face, head, hands ugh no wonder they have a patio cat.

Ruthless. I wanted to be reflex savvy enough to punch the next one that came at us. Then I remembered Fabio. What Would Fabio Do?

Get hit in the face with one. Note to self never sit in the front roller coaster row again no matter how thrilling. ps. check this George Clooney vs. Fabio fight BAhahha Clooney flips him the bird. HAHA BIRD! Moving on now.

Keeping my ankle elevated.

That’s it thank god I quit time for lunch! Sorry if there are typos no time to edit right meow I’ll read and edit after lunch munch.

Yesterday the washing machine killed the power so I got creatively bored.

More later haters. BYE THE WAY.