You are being minxed.

Hi everyone who is not me, happy Monday. Better make it snappy cos it’s hot out and it might not last plus it’s almost lunch. I’m still not 100% and I think this thing has traveled in to my lungs now, phlegmtastical. Update: went for a nice walk and now I am back.

Stay tuned for this cray day! Each day is a fantastical mystery adventure. So much to do.

We were curious about this tent for a few days before Queen’s Day then were like oh right, duhh.

Football club.

You think at the top it says drop?

This is vodka.

Cuuute. Sister said my blog is inspired, wants to paint me. Can’t take it back now! Actually we should have a paint jam.

Super goofy ahha.

Handicap friendly. I heard another conspiracy theory from the father! There’s an empty unit in this building from when they housed prisoners off-site, you can’t reach it from the elevator. Love it. Scarylicious. They’re gone now.

Lets go for a drink. Or a ton.

Boobs O_O. They had an it’s your fault not our fault look away disclaimer. Very cheeky country.

Night club hot. If asked to classify one of my kinds of hot, NIGHTCLUB HOT is one of my hots. I also represent a strong BEER GOGGLES HOT front as well as OLD MAN HOT. Have you got an hour? It’s funny or cosmic that I come up with these dumb sayings, raymisms, then bf’s sis and I got to gossiping or, “bonding” and she was going through pictures from this night and making fun of herself and I’m like yeah sames I’m nightclub hot. Then we laughed for five minutes ahah omg I can’t stop thinking about the sour face of that woman who gave me stink eye for a full fucking hour straight! The more drunk I became the more I mouthed off about it until finally I gave her the longest eye contact mean girl smile back and we stared at each other for five minutes, she must have been Latvian I dunno (hi Anja!!) but she def came from the cougar bar from across the way. There’s a name for it they all make fun of but it’s kind of a compliment when someone makes you their enemy all night long meanwhile everyone else is blowing and hugging you. I got nicknamed Moose (Canadian) and had to explain why that particular Canadian mammal was not a complimentary thing to call a woman and now it looks even worse when typed haha.

I actually liked this place a lot. It’s a restaurant earlier in the day, evening. You can watch the boomers lining up across the path and they ALL eventually turn up at the dance club you’re at, endless action and entertainment. Good DJ too. I was dressed like a mom, no one cared. Next time I will dress less homely. We went for a drive, then we went to the city, then were like lets call sister she’s like ughh more notice please next time ok I’m getting ready now lol then we walked into the square and bob’s your uncle disco time. My outfit and have a good time audacity with 25 years jr get-up is precisely why I got stink eye all night long. She didn’t find Mr. Right at the cougar bar so she went across the street to scowl at everything. I danced even more ridiculous, my bf was dipping me it was the best funnest time ever. I wanted to pinch myself.

BF knows the dj.

This is what you call a better pour on the personality outfit cos you ain’t got shit. Guys I love a challenge. Pretty and plain girls are a threat oh no she didn’t just apply chapstick!

Is this a living room art installation. Get me some olives.

How ’bout ‘dem pants. Crazy pants are in here. Bf said Germany is known for its fashion crimes. Okay good thank god so the fugly crap I’m seeing is just euro Don’ts and not the fashion forecast for fall-onward.

Adorabz.

Booze is kicking in. You win some, you booze some. I’m drying out again for three days. And no more auf der wiener schnitzel neither! Or Sauerkraut sangiches (Bread Pitt voice).

Dance with my necklace please I can’t groove with it on.

Man gossip.

Nice.

Nightclub hot.

There she is. Mommy and Daddy are leaving now.

She bumped into a friend of hers but lives nearby anyway so we were like okay can peace with peace of mind.

Nightclub hot lol spying on people is fun I bet she will blow a gasket when she sees my blog today. I gave her my biz card this evening then agonized over it all night long ahaha.

Well hello there who’s a cheeky Susan? Seriously I think like a gnat is writing this shit now.

Litmus test. I put this on FB and nobody cared. Assholes. And the one day I wore jeans too.

Look it’s me and bikes.

Look it’s me beside some orange, the nation’s colour.

Bono?

Cute fat little ponies. Okay here is a cute story involving horses cos someone said I don’t care about horses ahhahahahha. So one day it was raining and I saw four horses standing still all facing the same direction away from the road and they looked really depressed and I went OH AWWWWWWWWWWW and practically started crying (I got my period later that day I think) and he’s like what what!!!!!? And I was like they’re so sad! And he’s like BAHAHAH of course It is raining! Zero sympathy. Then he’s like baby why you’re so sad for? A horse cannot hold an umbrella ah no look at those cows, they are so sad they are getting wet and now are lying down, so sad boohoo. Oh no those sheep lets take them home so they don’t have to be wet. In short, now all we ever do is make fun of how sad wet horses made me. WTF It was cold and wet! This story is funnier if you imagine everything my bf says sounds like Borat.

Heehee.

Hung the next day grocery shopping was not a genius move but we did get a lot of stuff. I’m smoking this for him at a gas station cos he ran in for more smokes otherwise I’d have chucked it out the window but you can’t do that at a gas station now can you.

We also got these guys from the supermarket. Win. Commemorative.

The moment I got my appetite back after being ill this was the first thing I had a craving for.

And schnitzel. Huge plate, ate half then we had the rest the next day for lunch.

Oh yeah this is in Germany. Quite authentic.

Yep.

This was our to go home take. Those are croquettes.

Zoom. Kay bye!