Practically in heat

I have so much energy I am in such a happy mood good grief! I think I got my mojo back. Or I am in ketosis euphoria. It’s just nice to wake up with energy again, not lethargy (well as much) and just feeling back in general you know. Waking up not offensively depressed is great and it’s prob due to the fact that I drank less yesterday so there you go alcohol IS a depressant only took me 29 years to agree.

I’m getting all this energy out here so I can go finish preparing for my audition. Reason numero uno I feel so powerful today. Well actually it was really once I got all that awful bad feelings out on to my blog the last three days, the stunting is over and now I feel relief and then, all these amazing things started happening for me yesterday. I feel Raymazing. Even though I have a clogged ear, can’t hear 100%, I feel super cool.

Hopeful. Hope is an important thing to hang on to. I let go of it TBH and then look what happened. A series of things.

I just wrote a chunk in my on-going, growing word doc book it’s kind of neat moving from one insane rambling story telling thing to another and somehow the story keeps flowing and making sense.

I was a little tired getting up today and worried that my “one of a kind” (that’s what they said!) personality would be slow to trigger for today’s big day but not no more people full-personality central. I just watched the clip of the show I’m auditioning for and psyched myself out a little bit but also gave me adrenaline nerves so now I’m going to dance it out while I put on my tights. I have no idea what I can tell you about it but it does conflict with Aruba so if I get it you know what that means. BUT if I get it it will be kismet or bershet? Anyway aghhh mind going a mile a minute but they just want me to be myself so, okay, who am I! I know the casting director from two years ago and I couldn’t sign with them cos I was locked in to another contract. Yes it is real, we are not the only one who sees the spark I sometimes ignite and well anyway she writes me yesterday while I’m at the ear clinic right after a man was hitting on me – for some reason that bun is magnetizing I almost want to wear my hair like that today but I’ll just show them a picture of my various looks blabbity blah dudes it’s been great. xo rlw.