a stalkumentary

Be prepared.

When we bent over to pick up our helmets we bonked heads. Oh dear.

My pizza. (I made this btw if it wasn’t clear). I had some more of it just now. I was crashing. It is just as delish today as it was last night. Cheeseless. Steve gets bloated from cheese so I decided to eat like a vegan too. I know they are super skinny people so why not. You have to restrict in some capacity or other when you drink a bottle of red wine and demolish chocolate bars practically every night. Seriously something’s gotta give I bet I make Dan Aykroyd look like Zoey Deschanel (is known to have ridiculous diet restrictions/allergies. Hates tofu, allergic to everything else, is vegan. LOLOLLLL).

I buy two bags worth of greenery each shopping trip now. Lets go to the farmer’s market soon, where are they please supply a list thank you. Also Brickworks for sure, is it only open weekends? Steve hasn’t been. He has no idea! I always make a time of it.

Also what’s going on Nuit Blanche when is that again? This year I just want to roam and not be tied down to something, I dunno. Someplace warm would be good too like being an installation at the Gladstoner even though I just said I didn’t want to be tied down. Make me an offer I can’t refuse. Make it VIPleasey. I got hired based on just bumping into my friend Rob in my bear suit last year. I rule therefore I am.

I miss Stew.

Stew said that is no way for a ladybear to behave. Stew is Gaymi by the way.

That was fun. I am only wearing one giant earring in this video too. One fell off. Check my wizard hair though!!!

I skulked in the tub yesterday. It was terrible weather out, just terrible. I will probably stay drunk all winter long. I treated myself to lunch in Russia today (a cucumber soaked in vodka from my jar) after eating a slice of my homemade pizza. It’s Saturday. Like days of the week matter to guys like me. Hey, I’m a guy like me!

I can’t facebook pics from phone anymore because I upgraded my blackberry fb app go figure but anyway had I been able to I would have captioned this one “on a looking at pictures of food only diet today”. When we went food shopping at the hipster loblaws last night I was zombie-stupid. Girls are stupid. The world is stupid. I ate the second half of my mac at the Drive-In because I do what I want. Steve wouldn’t have any, there are onions in the mac.

Another present to add to the pile of others for my niece. She will be 14. My bro was like NO THAT’S FOR ME!! Nothing changes ever. Dad said he took her out today and bought her all this stuff. They went to Harvest Table even. I was like oh you have another Lauren and he want oh awww. He’s reading the bio Amy Winehouse’s dad wrote and says she talked to him like I talk to him. Don’t make me post that Raymi Winehouse video of us playing Wrongbar, Duncs. I’ll post this instead.

Dad what is that guy doing behind you? Lol.

Steve-o picked up hair clips off a bud in Yorkville he was just talking about then the guy appeared and he told me twice how much of a good girlfriend I was because I wanted to pay for them, “she’s trying to pay for them behind your back Steve.” Steve pays for them, I get all the credit. Score one Raymi. Btw sometimes when Steve calls me Raymi it’s weird. It’s weird when I call him Steve too, is that weird? He then says Lauren in this serious way, then we laugh and say I love you for the millionth time that day.

Dropped off luggage, picked up bike. My glasses were perfect for my pants you’re welcome.

Needs more hotel.

This fell from the side table or I forgot about it on the bed (doughnut) and it smashed, I picked up the glass with my bare hands lying on the bed while Steve got the rest and we put a towel down. I think you can buy these glasses from your room or if you take one they charge you? Well good luck with smashing one bro. I told them when we checked out like a good guilted-Canadian conscience ought. Then someone was like AND I TOOK A ROBE from behind me. Just kidding, but that would be awesome. Probably happened in a movie. Like where all things happen. Movies > Friends.

Had those stupid chicks not stopped us to chat we would have gone up to the room and seen our credit then eaten downstairs in the bar instead of real sports.

I shouldn’t have left my camera in the room. Still haven’t gone through Steve’s haul of coverage.

Free Pussy! Oh guess what, I am in the New York Times again today. In the Blogrunner from the Headlines around the web. That’s my FOURTH TIME being in The New York Times now. Were you out takin’ a wizz or sumthin’? I am a New York Times Blog source. I requested a NYT from Le Germain and my cosmic psychic powers made that happen I suppose. Also the word MADONNA. Madonna. COUGH COUGH madonna. Madonna. Aruba. I mean Madonna. Lol. Maybe this post will make it too.