Monthly Archives: August 2012

You don’t get to know me. You get to blow me.

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If you click on my blog post title it opens the post up so you can read the whole title or have the direct url to the post, so you don’t have to load my entire blog. That is all -editor.

What’s up chickenheads? I have to start deleting mad photos off my blackberry it’s almost maxed out at 4000. o_0. When I try to take pics it gives me this weird error page like DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TAKING ANOTHER PICTURE ASSHOLE something from the hatch in Lost when they don’t press the button. Will the world end if they don’t press it or not, will my phone explode if I take one more? Duh.

Lets go ahead and get our TGIFs out of the way first, thank very much.

Because each skull is filled with every possible colour we started playing with milky food colouring mixtures. There weren’t any pink skulls til I showed up though btw obvs.

The day before I went to Aruba got my hair did at Headcandy cos it was going to fade like cray on vacraytion.

They have candy urrywhere. Big kids. Fun place. Makes sense.

At the airport, totally delirious all nighter no sleep.

I got good at craps but even better at the roulette machine until we lost everything, but it lasted a long time and I have great betting skills. I don’t gamble though (maybe just on life lol) because I vehemently believe that poor people shouldn’t gamble. But on vacation you get a hall pass to do eh-neh-thing ya want. Speaking of, my blog is linked in the New York Times today thanks to my clever Aruba headline: Hurricane Raymi hits Aruba hearts hard. When it Raymes, IT POURS.

Going through the cans of PBE like gangbusters. It’s actually a good tasting beverage not just cough syrup crazy juice, the flavour of it more than adequately covers all that rocket fuel taste up and with vodka it’s perfect for the work all day party all night (tireds) people. I am one of only two people in Toronto who has it so if you ask nicely I’ll save you one, there’s also regular Playboy Energy drink, the non-sugar free which I water down with water cos I cuckoo like that.

I’m going to wear this at the Black Keys tomorrow night. If anyone touches my white shoes I will go ballistic. Watch me. This teeny boustiere “shirt” I tried on over my bra yesterday w/o even looking in a mirror because I knew it would look awesome on me and fit. Even though that’s a Hipster Dress by Numbers shop, it’s what you select and how you put it together, plus having a slammin’ bod don’t hurt. I won’t be wearing the shorts with the pockets out though fyi. Maybe just sometimes.

There is no size on them so I dunno what they are, they’re all different and vintage, how smart and like 100% profit. Capitalists!

Cute biker hats too, on clearance (don’t f-ing copy me). Got one for Hailey too. Some little bitch “friend” of hers deleted her Facebook account. Aunty Raymi ANGRY. The White women (our last name chillax) are no strangers to catty passive aggressive mean girl bitches, jealous. I have enacted a zero tolerance for meanness or any form of negativity in my life recently so if you cross me, I will let you know and you will be exiled. No second chances. “I have had it up to here.”

Some old bat pulled my friend’s ponytail the other night at an outdoor music festival just because she was dancing (she always boogies down) and I said, if I was there when that happened I’d go to jail. The woman was evicted but wow, just wow. You can’t handle the heat of your jealousy so bad you have to get up in someone’s grill about it, so sad.

Found tinier girlier spec versions of my old ones. More lomo film too. Loading it last night made me snap, ugh so horrible. I chose to get my prints (5 rolls) developed digitally for my first try because if they’re all crappy it’s less money, I can scan the good ones. Real photograph copies are amazing though. It will be exciting to see wtf was going on around Thanksgiving and other times. The guy wanted me to come in this morning for a lesson in loading I was like, I am not a morning person and not showing up is proof of that. #diva.

Steve had hair to do and we were late so I finished up my makeup at their place around the corner from the Hoxton where I was to meet up with Bech Melodie M Kim Jules Jesse and so on it was a grand time you’ll see.

Trying to show the difference in sizes which is barely audible. Meh.

Up for some ultimate?! Thanks again CC! You just happen to be Vince’s drink so, thanks for making me look good too.

Had some wine, got ready then left for team yay cray. The women (melodiva + Bechnique) in my life were finally going to meet/hang together chaperoned by me. I was nervous! No I wasn’t, I was drunk! Nerves can’t catch me now lol.

Hey lets go shopping with our purses and grab a sandwich, is what this picture is screaming out at me.

Everyone thought we were sisters when we hung out all the time, even though my hair was platinum. It’s the gorgeous that makes them think that I guess.

And the baditude, yeah, they’re drinking from the same cray stream, def sisters.

So everyone got along just fine and what happened that I so totally called was, they teamed up against me to make fun of me, as usual. Thanks bitches!

And then, I reject their antics and chat up another girl then they get all crazy friend jealous possessive and get up all on me and Lindsay trying to tell a very simple NXNE story but no, Raymi is the party bicycle the girls get to ride whenever the want. Ghostride me across the floor and leave me for Igor. LOLZ.

More photobombs and Dave was also there too, he said SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS to me a few times and it made me blubber spit laugh bust up in the middle of my sentences each time. I am too easy. Easy now.

When I finally squeeze the girls out of shot fricking Michael Kim shows up double-fisting it GUH-REAT. I couldn’t even get myself anyway so never mind.

SO talking shit about me.

Melodie backed that suspicion up too. When you diss me I win, remember that!

Clearance dresses are the best. I found a very nice one I’m going to wear to Steve’s sister’s wedding rehearsal dinner. Reduced from $89 to $39 DISCOUNT HIGH. Maybe I’ll rent a ballin’ gown from Rent Frock Repeat for the actual wedding, we’ll see and I def am gonna make sure I’m still a size 2.

Steve said Mel’s hair was _________? Awesome, beautiful? Something like that. He’s a hair guy so he would know, I was like LOOK AT THIS as I put my hands on her shaved head and pushed her head down. Bossy is a two way street.

Oh great, more blinking. Get it together girls.

HOW DARE YOU!

 

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I’m on the pursuit of happiness

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Misbehaving always.

I can actually walk in these, they’re so much safer than my Guess nude heels which are gorgeous but they slip off at the heels when I walk.

Our favourite haunt because one of us takes a very long time getting ready. The trainwrecks that come in are great entertainment, the regular loner lushes (we saw a hook-up go down it was awesome!) and then the (hair) clients that come by who know Steve like 5 a night at least. My faves are the “don’t go home with a dude go home with food” chicks.

My horse long legs after a time being bent at 90 degrees, require a little stretch.

Oh look my Diana F. Maybe I’ll drop off film today so we can see what Thanksgiving looked like lol.

Hope the film turns out. I smooth criminaled lomography for a free camera and then never developed my film they must hate me. Took me forever to figure out how to work the thing.

Time to up my game people.

Maybe I’ll have to get more wedges. Definitely. I’ll wear these for my playboy photoshoot. Plus extensions. Some crazy high fashion hair and voila, lets do this.

Been doing more “art” lately. There are 20 skulls in total (please donate us some) and they’re all going to be different themed, we have a corks one + empty lighters. This is the crazy one. I want to do a Christmas one, Halloween, St. Patty’s, buttons, Steve has ideas too. I hope Dan Aykroyd will come. And bring Susan Sarandon too.

I’m going dedicate an entire post to them so hang tight kittens.

Maybe some other art will be there too. Raymi’s Great Estate Sale. Noel had one of those.

Catching the sun while I can. #ArubaRaymi withdrawal

Off to eat late. If your restaurant’s kitchen is open til midnight please let me know. I guess it’s snack bar next time otherwise. Which means I’ll be drinking Absinthe.

This night calls for Violet glasses.

Love her as that role and the braids. Makes me miss my blond a little.

I finally realized that all that red wine I’ve been enjoying lately was making me too hung so we just got a half bottle this time. Always go with the Carmen.

I’ll show you a sommelier.

We are turning into the same person. Glasses glasses glasses!

Al dente macaroni really cheesed me off I was a fricking bloated barrel the rest of the night AND they forgot the whole truffle part to the “truffle mac”. Boo. I still love you guys though. We always sit in the same booth.

Then we get spotted by lots of people, a lot of Steve’s clients and friends. The staff love us and get a kick out of our bullshit. We order a lot of things too cos I have a food fetish and Steve is a picky eater. Why are they always so picky?

So that’s what the top of my head looked like.

I love summer. Summer of Raymi. I am going to be mighty sad when it’s fall.

Good one.

The vest kills me. He was in my scarf by the end of the night and looked like Al Capone. It worked.

Ghosty friend, always say what’s up to.

Finally. Will never order the flat iron steak again, too chewy. I had called Watusi to see if the kitchen was still open and Andy got on the phone haha he was happy to hear from me and surprised. One time I called the random chinese restaurant Noel was eating in and they put him on the phone at his table and he laughed his fucking head off. That’s two Noel references for this post now I have to email him.

Pulled pork and onions on top of a beef burger.

And onion rings.

Hip Hop Burger time.

Yum yum in my tum tum. No I will never stop talking like this never. Ever.

Hipster Harrison Ford. Where’s your whip?

Scarves are the best for summer for when you get restaurant cold™. Time to get more, I don’t want to murder this one. But I think it’s fine to have some iconic staples people can identify over the years. The many many blog years.

Still got it though bro.

Kay lets catch up on some other junk I previously uploaded while I’m at it. BRB.

+++

Blog title came from this. Still dig the orig. despite all clubs playing the hell out of the remix.

IS it thirsty Thursday already?

Thanks CC. Also if you’re in an unsigned band, you should check them out on FB and enter their contest, submission deadline is August 27. You can win $3000 or new gear + studio time and your ass flown to Toronto to do the business thing-thang-a-lang. #MixedandReady is the hashtag and Canadian Club Canada is how you find out more about the contest. Good luck! And as they say back in the day, when it rains booze, it pours!

Who goes grocery shopping meets with a ballin’ booze rep and gets a lift right back to their crib with all their shopping? C’est moi. Thanks Absolut. We killed the bottle, responsibly of course. I love high-end distilled vodka.

I can’t stop pinching myself lately. :)

The Adventures of Raymbecca

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Hola muchachos! Lets try to figure out what I did last night, I like going through the carnage backwards, like a treasure hunt and almost as scary as Jumanji.

How to dress for a fashion show if you’re nervous about fashion shows (everyone is) and part of the show is the fashion on the floor. Waiting for the show is people watching city. I counter-balance my anxiety by dressing classic and understated, casual, comfortable and I kinda always have to go in sync with Raymbecca who is stubborn as a mule with her shit (always excruciatingly so it makes me go 1. bananas 2. hair loss 3. rage).

Anyway when you go out dressed like the underdog people get wicked intrigued by you quick so when you do something or say something classified as “neat” they are BLOWN AWAY BY YOU like the monkey is now TALKING.

I am so not falling for that one Raymbecca. Hmm, sniff. JUST JOSHING YOU.

Not to brag hag but all the gays loved us, me first. My ego was at an all time high. And you know what we did to make friends? Nothing. I mean, be ourselves (who does that??) This is not our first rodeo (what?) but I’ll give it to my famous hairstylist to grease the wheels for me before arrival by talking about me to everyone first thanks bro. The rest we did ourselves.

I really love this rooftop, it wasn’t as slammed as a couple fashion show nights ago but it was busy enough, with room to enjoy yourself, dig? There is always one requisite cluster of annoying “too good for everyone fashionistas”, Cube never disappoints. Too bad they were trashy and fug. They are rude and they storm you, I wouldn’t move out of the way of one because it was the third time they clothes-lined our crew, such bratty poorly brought up manner-less women beasts trying to gain alpha club status like there is nowhere else to go up here, you are here, stop pacing. No one is better than anybody else up there as far as I’m concerned but it’s fun to watch some try to be.

One of our twenty new gay best friends hahaha.

I don’t think you want to know what I asked about that ring. His friend exploded in to laughter and said, “yes basically!” Lolz. Raymbecca had a blast last night my brain marbles are still blasted out of my head for it.

Danier jackets. Some super amazing ones. I’d love a new jacket for fall and keep my little beater one for when I go to Salvador Darling. Where everyone loses jackets.

Cute. Next time I am going to eat a bag of popcorn and lay on a couch because “I’m media”.

It’s like The Ring.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAh.

Fancy nails. Upped my game and worth just from slicking it on. I want to wear my monokini today lol. I’ll save it for the island. Who saves things? Burn those fancy candles now! Oprah says. I apply that to everything.

Ooh ma nails. Can you have a crush on yourself?

Look it’s the Three Muskecheers. I wonder where le f the Killigrew boys were?

One day Raymbecca will dance on the catwalk after the show and it will be hilarious.

It was nice being told all night long how beautiful I was “like model”. Like, how tanked are you guys? They turned my blahh-zay attitude right around. My understated slob sailor outfit was a success.

I almost wore my ghettofab wedges but I didn’t think that would be safe to bike in who am I the Spice Girls now? (yes) but anyway you know these mary jane wedges have been kickin’ it with me for years now (can you remember how many?) they’re uber comfortable to deal with, albeit borderline geriatric. How many shits I give can also be applied to my dance moves.

Smooth.

I styled the rest of Bech‘s outfit, just popped that necklace on and voila. Sold.

Nice pipes!

Oh summer nights. Quit smoking it’s grosstastic! Looks good in my pictures though.

That is the world’s most intense cigarette drag.

It’s nice and toasty up there it’s like the roof was ripped off to make way for the gotham view. It really puts me in a good mood.

Lets have a nice sit. Can you tell I put gold glimmer everywhere on my eyes?

Too bad my eyes are different colours. I pulled a Bowie. This is essentially just another It’s Pat! outfit.

Then we rode bikes home and massacred a chicken carcass with tipsy jerk sauce all over it and drank my VIP bottle of Absolut Elyx. And that my friends is what we call Tuesday night. Til next time.