You don’t get to know me. You get to blow me.

If you click on my blog post title it opens the post up so you can read the whole title or have the direct url to the post, so you don’t have to load my entire blog. That is all -editor.

What’s up chickenheads? I have to start deleting mad photos off my blackberry it’s almost maxed out at 4000. o_0. When I try to take pics it gives me this weird error page like DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TAKING ANOTHER PICTURE ASSHOLE something from the hatch in Lost when they don’t press the button. Will the world end if they don’t press it or not, will my phone explode if I take one more? Duh.

Lets go ahead and get our TGIFs out of the way first, thank very much.

Because each skull is filled with every possible colour we started playing with milky food colouring mixtures. There weren’t any pink skulls til I showed up though btw obvs.

The day before I went to Aruba got my hair did at Headcandy cos it was going to fade like cray on vacraytion.

They have candy urrywhere. Big kids. Fun place. Makes sense.

At the airport, totally delirious all nighter no sleep.

I got good at craps but even better at the roulette machine until we lost everything, but it lasted a long time and I have great betting skills. I don’t gamble though (maybe just on life lol) because I vehemently believe that poor people shouldn’t gamble. But on vacation you get a hall pass to do eh-neh-thing ya want. Speaking of, my blog is linked in the New York Times today thanks to my clever Aruba headline: Hurricane Raymi hits Aruba hearts hard. When it Raymes, IT POURS.

Going through the cans of PBE like gangbusters. It’s actually a good tasting beverage not just cough syrup crazy juice, the flavour of it more than adequately covers all that rocket fuel taste up and with vodka it’s perfect for the work all day party all night (tireds) people. I am one of only two people in Toronto who has it so if you ask nicely I’ll save you one, there’s also regular Playboy Energy drink, the non-sugar free which I water down with water cos I cuckoo like that.

I’m going to wear this at the Black Keys tomorrow night. If anyone touches my white shoes I will go ballistic. Watch me. This teeny boustiere “shirt” I tried on over my bra yesterday w/o even looking in a mirror because I knew it would look awesome on me and fit. Even though that’s a Hipster Dress by Numbers shop, it’s what you select and how you put it together, plus having a slammin’ bod don’t hurt. I won’t be wearing the shorts with the pockets out though fyi. Maybe just sometimes.

There is no size on them so I dunno what they are, they’re all different and vintage, how smart and like 100% profit. Capitalists!

Cute biker hats too, on clearance (don’t f-ing copy me). Got one for Hailey too. Some little bitch “friend” of hers deleted her Facebook account. Aunty Raymi ANGRY. The White women (our last name chillax) are no strangers to catty passive aggressive mean girl bitches, jealous. I have enacted a zero tolerance for meanness or any form of negativity in my life recently so if you cross me, I will let you know and you will be exiled. No second chances. “I have had it up to here.”

Some old bat pulled my friend’s ponytail the other night at an outdoor music festival just because she was dancing (she always boogies down) and I said, if I was there when that happened I’d go to jail. The woman was evicted but wow, just wow. You can’t handle the heat of your jealousy so bad you have to get up in someone’s grill about it, so sad.

Found tinier girlier spec versions of my old ones. More lomo film too. Loading it last night made me snap, ugh so horrible. I chose to get my prints (5 rolls) developed digitally for my first try because if they’re all crappy it’s less money, I can scan the good ones. Real photograph copies are amazing though. It will be exciting to see wtf was going on around Thanksgiving and other times. The guy wanted me to come in this morning for a lesson in loading I was like, I am not a morning person and not showing up is proof of that. #diva.

Steve had hair to do and we were late so I finished up my makeup at their place around the corner from the Hoxton where I was to meet up with Bech Melodie M Kim Jules Jesse and so on it was a grand time you’ll see.

Trying to show the difference in sizes which is barely audible. Meh.

Up for some ultimate?! Thanks again CC! You just happen to be Vince’s drink so, thanks for making me look good too.

Had some wine, got ready then left for team yay cray. The women (melodiva + Bechnique) in my life were finally going to meet/hang together chaperoned by me. I was nervous! No I wasn’t, I was drunk! Nerves can’t catch me now lol.

Hey lets go shopping with our purses and grab a sandwich, is what this picture is screaming out at me.

Everyone thought we were sisters when we hung out all the time, even though my hair was platinum. It’s the gorgeous that makes them think that I guess.

And the baditude, yeah, they’re drinking from the same cray stream, def sisters.

So everyone got along just fine and what happened that I so totally called was, they teamed up against me to make fun of me, as usual. Thanks bitches!

And then, I reject their antics and chat up another girl then they get all crazy friend jealous possessive and get up all on me and Lindsay trying to tell a very simple NXNE story but no, Raymi is the party bicycle the girls get to ride whenever the want. Ghostride me across the floor and leave me for Igor. LOLZ.

More photobombs and Dave was also there too, he said SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS to me a few times and it made me blubber spit laugh bust up in the middle of my sentences each time. I am too easy. Easy now.

When I finally squeeze the girls out of shot fricking Michael Kim shows up double-fisting it GUH-REAT. I couldn’t even get myself anyway so never mind.

SO talking shit about me.

Melodie backed that suspicion up too. When you diss me I win, remember that!

Clearance dresses are the best. I found a very nice one I’m going to wear to Steve’s sister’s wedding rehearsal dinner. Reduced from $89 to $39 DISCOUNT HIGH. Maybe I’ll rent a ballin’ gown from Rent Frock Repeat for the actual wedding, we’ll see and I def am gonna make sure I’m still a size 2.

Steve said Mel’s hair was _________? Awesome, beautiful? Something like that. He’s a hair guy so he would know, I was like LOOK AT THIS as I put my hands on her shaved head and pushed her head down. Bossy is a two way street.

Oh great, more blinking. Get it together girls.

HOW DARE YOU!

Taught all the gals the Playboy Bunny gang sign.

They kept it real.

Who kept it realer though?

The lesson continues and then we show off what we learned.

See how long my minx claws are? I am proud of myself. When you make positive life changes the things you always wanted to curb (nail biting habit) become possible. Aruba was a huge help in that too from all the sand beneath my nails, applying topcoat and not bringing nail polish. Chipping away at decaying polish takes up nail biting time, see? Raymi dirtbag beauty tip.

We’ll get there yet. Fierce over the shoulder Bech. Bunny points for that one.

While model Mel turns it out with that sweet ayse. Tie.

Going to miss the frig out of Julesy though, throwing her a birthday bash next week or so, when? Expect drunk speeches and dirty dancing. Jules made some dance floor boy fans last night as usual I love that so much. One guy was doing the robot but like if the robot was on a ton of drugs AHHAHA it was so good.

A G E L E S S B E A U T Y.

The Hoxton washroom lady is our scene, Raymbecca knows her name even. Jules buys candy off her, she laughs at our bullshit. We even hug her goodbye lol. Only be friends with sweethearts if you can manage it.

Meanwhile Melodie’s friend Sherri who we were hanging with was wearing A MINX VERTEBRAE bone necklace the whole time. Cosmic or what! Artist is Nathaniel Brown and he does other bones too.

My makeup’s not so bad eh? I accidentally made a teeny black eyeliner dot beside my right eye and left it there, you can’t see it in this picture but I was JUST SAYING.

I’m going to contact this dude. I grabbed her necklace and said hey what’s this, she goes, it’s a minx vert–, what? a WHAT? Then I shoved my tattoo up in her face and she was like woooooooooah.

See how tiny minxes are?

What is this Scooby Doo? Yes.

More like the never-ending story.

Green and orange contrast quite nicely together, good one Raymbecca.

Now get out of here.

Wait me too first! Then I finished off the second rotisserie chicken of the week because I am awesome like that. Much love, the greatest thinker of your time. -RLW.