I’ll bring the hot you bring the mess

Hi everyone. This is what happened on Friday night which feels like just yesterday now.

I was bored as hell, Teach stayed after work for pints, Stupid wouldn’t be home til 7 (That’s Rebecca by the way) and Jules wouldn’t be arriving til around 8. Not that I was even ready for earlier hanging because this outfit took forever to put together, see how hard simple is? Truly. Only because my wardrobe which takes up an entire room is a disaster and when Spring rolls around all of my teeny shirts look so ragged and worn out. Hey I said spring rolls and I wasn’t even talking about chinese food.

Speak of the devil. I think our brunette triad is going to be tarded to the max.

Psyche! Pretend internetting.

Psyche again!

She is always eating I don’t know where she puts it.

Those are the best pants. Jules looks stupid in pictures because she is hotter than us in real life, those are the rules. Hotter the picture, fuglier in real life. Fug picture = hot life. Got it? Good.

Aw I wish I could remember the exact joke I made about the pose Bech is making back there, that’s some phony cheesy homemaker level shit furreal. I like it!

Okay cool thanks.

Blaha I am a stressed out music hog wizard. Too bad Jules has amazing tits. Too bad everything on that little table is going to be smashed to the ground one of these days one by one.

Too bad I will never be on the price is right now that the platinum angel is retiring. Um I am so Ghost right now look at my see through arm. Creepy. Watch your back haters I can float through walls and spy on your stupid fucking lives.

Age before beauty! This one’s pretty game show.

Love how I have my posing 101 down CONSTANTLY you’re welcome that cup is full of vodka soda tgif!

That shirt brings out the green mustard in your eyes bechs.

These are the shoes we wear while at cray palisades, my boots are always too clonky and I’m a, one of those people who removes everything off their body when they enter a house don’t be surprised to come home to me sitting in my underwear oh hi didn’t hear you come in there. Jules’own shoes are her own, shoes.

I waved this around like it was the 80’s before we left and sang a song if no one bothered to remember it then I don’t care either fine!

Okay leather jackes thanks for telling me to wear mine JUST KIDDING YOU DIDN’T TELL ME jaja. Well, that one was bech’s and Jules is over wearing my canadian flag sweater. Fine.

My turn!

Ugh. Seriously this is what I cam up with haha.

Unfortunately it didn’t get that much better like I care.

We walked over to N+H’s to catch up with the rest of the gang. We were proud that we didn’t take a cab (it was windy with chances of lazy) and their place is JUST after the bridge sometimes it’s funny to out-lazy yourself albeit disgusting. Just walk!

The visit was way longer but this was off to the next thing.

Bahaha well I look good. Bech likes dumb pics of her so to press with it.

Birthday month involves more photos of my face than normal month. I was chatting to my friend Jenn who is turning older 30-something this year and I said you know, chicks in their thirties look pretty young to me too and I look forward to being less uptight about my age. I get a bad rap cos I have strong facial features and I know when losers say I look forty it’s not true. Another thing I miss about the good old days is when women weren’t reading my blog or people who “got” that this isn’t for them aka why are there so many saucy photos, to entice bitchy chicks to make MORE swipes at me? I only bring that up because lets face it, dudes like me or are attracted by/to me so I made a blog about that so what’s not to get? If you can’t handle it so fucking much don’t read it.

Bum Bum Lauren strikes again!

This is me today.

It’s not just my face I want in a time capsule it’s my hair holy obsessed much? Yup.

I’m going to copy that mannequin’s demure pose. I got the lashes for it that’s for sure.

Lesboner salutations.

I gotta go!

Chilly day.

It’s a better backdrop than this.

I cleaned the shitty mirror immediately after. Can’t wait for the annual Ikea voyage.

I came close to accidentally pumping soap in to my hand for my hair after blow-drying it instead of my mythic oil right there beside it. It would have been a hilarious rage had that of happened.

Real and pretend tv watching I look so stressed. I am trying to be a remote control freak hog.

Last night.

These two match enough. I can wear the top with the green AA bottoms! I’m so smart.

Til next time. Something happened to this post, half was eaten what a waste of time so annoyed off for late brunch with Courtney it’s her bday tomorrow!