Yaymi

This is so 80’s I came from the 80’s to say what’s up. Teacher quoted a tweet the other day to me, watch out girls born in the 80’s, it’s girls born in the 90’s! Yeeowch. Lol. Who cares, like fine wine, the cream of the crop gets tastier, I know tons of older than me hot chicks too, tons. And do I look scared? Some younger chicks look like slobs, slobby teenage boys. I’m classy and dainty like a firefly fairy.

He also said he made chicks at work feel bad for telling them I was 5’9 and 117. He doesn’t want me to have any fucking friends I swear it haha.

Have to watch it with my face though from smiling and getting skinnier, don’t look down I guess?

Hahaha uhhh.

Slowly but surely. Don’t feel as badly now cos a girl on FB said she has two trees, a black and a white one that hasn’t taken down yet. TWO!

My present twitter bg.

So long fabulous friends. Sniff.

Hair appt tomorrow shaddup.

My face is whiter than my teeth hahah.

Sorry but that shit is fabulous. That’s TWO F-bombs in a post.

This is what it’s called obvi it works cos I am puketastically gorge.

Meanwhile this is the garbage I exclusively put in my temple. Thank god for Jamba, the only healthy stuff that I ever consume.

I’d still dig a pizza sponsor, holla! Hey Mado’s glad ya made it.

Guess my toppings. Best pizza ever I made from my own design, major accomplishment when all you did was blog about yourself all damn day long.

And a philly on thin crust. Forgot the pops though, night-ruining.

I swear it’s like I hate myself or something, here is one mental problem that I will admit to, when I eat I think it instantly affects me like I will feel like an actual tray of lasagna, but no siree, these photos indicate otherwise. My metabolism just ushers that shit right on out the door. It’s part stress and the only time this ever happened before in my life was after myinfamous breakup. The trick is to stop trying to play fortune teller about it though and see where it is going to go or lead to, or why it is happening. You drive yourself insane.

Dancing helps a lot, being theatrical about your life and enjoying it.

Living under a microscope misguides people into believing they can control my life on this blog like Choose your Own Adventure, this is MY adventure.

I hate myself enough everyday a lot of the time and I hide my suffering in my blog. Yes I am an amazing woman and it is ok to like me and recognize that you don’t have to throw rocks at me.

I don’t talk about my relationship because I am protective of it I don’t think if we broke up the newspapers would write about it. Again. But I certainly would be made fun of or abused until I confessed what happened and THEN they would write about it. I have been living as a real life science experiment specimen for the majority of my adult life, that person that everybody looks at and waits and wonders about, before this internet thing, and voila now I am fucking doing it or “it is all happening” “man” but it saddens me to know that with this flush of fame and attention will also bring a whole lot of HATE. Hate that I already get, day in and out for eleven years like eating pizza all the time and saying funny cynical shit is a bad thing, you guys suck Chuck Klosterman’s fucking dick all the time and the dude sucks, whines more than I do and makes novels out of the shit!

The mother of an ex bf said it was because I am skinny, when he told her that every Oakville girl was mean to me, the first time I ever experienced cattiness via passive aggression, stone-walling. Jealousy? What is that? I know, naive right? Right.

The first time I ever met other Laurens, but pronounced that way. It wasn’t til I bit back as our relationship was deteriorating that these girls were nicer to me, respected me. This guy was making me look dumb behind my back too with his turnstile of young dumb chicks so I am certain that neither helped me. We’re all good now and grown up and past it, friends as well even.

The point is, tall poppy syndrome is deadly. MTV is def setting me up for a great fall here but maybe not? AT THE END OF CLIP 4 the one that says “final decision” after you wait for the Jersey Shore ad to end, you will see the preview for my episode of Creeps that airs next week, Tuesday. It’s the third episode. Only in Canada though. Which sucks but maybe some internet whiz can figure it out for the Yanky Little Raymis.

Time to watch some of these dopey vids from last night and decide what’s for dinner.

Here’s a sweet fan Email I received today from a Little Raymi!

take yo praise!!

brent

this email ruled! tell your wife thanks and chat me up anytime. ive always been drawn to an older crowd, thanks to being so smart, so being 40 means nothing to me (until i am it lol). its cool you found me. took you long enough!

im blogging your email.

thanks pals

xo raymbo