Brunchin’ ma brains out

Spanish Funguy, which I named.

Now that I am an adult (child) I am trying to re-wire myself as an eating breakfast (in the afternoon) person and lately I have been riding the brunch train like a good little socialite so thought I’d hit up my BOOM kin, my bredren, that be, and have brunch-proper. They got WIFI now so no more Raymi Whinehouse (but i need to BLOG) complaints. That is a whiner pun not a drunk pun, for once.

Ladies, say it with me now GRILLED TOMATOES in lieu of frites but make sure someone else is nearby who will give you a handful of theirs.

No wait, you can ask for two. Better idea. I am a big fan of the insanely specific and complicated order. …and a side of 3 peas please.

Do you like this do you like this? Yeah that’s what’s going on! Girls eatin’ up in there were like DAYUM at my platforms, ‘spect!

I came from Fraggle Rock to dine with you!

And write on my blob.

Look at how much I enjoy my occupation!

The next time someone compares me to Courtney Love I am going to say that I more so relate to Reese Witherspoon or Gwyneth Paltrow and when they say, “Really?” I’ll say BAHAHHA NO. See my Linda Hamilton pipes? Kelly Ripa Raymi.

Ok thank you colleague, good to know.

Wifi hook-up, firstish thing’s first.

Boom frites are irresistible. I had 4 or 5. They dress them in this metal bowl with rosemary and sea salt and other spices.

And, did you know you can get a 13% (HST/Tax) Raymi discount WHEN YOU PAY AT THE TIL and say I am on Raymi’s D(iscount) List to the cashier. No prob Little Raymis.

Some of the servers hate me I can tell so have my back please thank you hahaha. They think I am a diva. Well, Tony did call me a jewish princess yesterday and sent me a hilarious photo email apologizing for not being there.

I call this the Skinny Minx and it hit the spot mighty fine and I gave a piece of bacon away. I order off menu there. #swag #baller #VIPLEASE. #stalktomebaby Ok I’ll stop now. #meow.

Since yesterday, I have torn off that cut part of the apple leaf Joey gave me this years ago. It makes me look professional, grown-up and someone to be taken seriously.

Heehee EXTREME TIMES! You must experience for yourself to BELIEVE! Get one of those car dealership crazy circus billowing things out front too. What a spokesmodel, right?

Fresh from playschool.

See the Wifi egg? Cute.

This could be a photoshop meme, in a red sports car, Pearl Harbour, massage parlour, etc.

Ok we get it now? Boom now with WIFI! WHY fight it? Have you seen the Menu? It’s full of puns, expansive, cheeky and great, I love it. We sit around naming new dishes, wait, didn’t I name spanish funguy (what colleague ate?) Wow I have early on-set Alzheimers.

Test lighting shot. I want studio lighting, next time no arguments. FLASH ME.

I can wear gladiator wedges with black tights because the toga-ness of the dress unifies the two, get it? Also, I am Raymi the Minx. Word. You may hear that sound byte on MTV with an F-bomb in for good measure. The show airs after Jersey Shore. The private life is offish overskies Lebowski. Ps. I’ve been on MTV before.

Coincidentally they have a screen-grab of joey and I and I saw the same wall of photos just a few days ago in that infamous office. They say it takes ten years to be an overnight success. In my case, eleven.

My makeup is a bit, bleh. I put primer all over my face. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT FOR YOUR INFORMATION. I was born a guy so things like makeup skills I have picked up along the way ie. probably doing it wrong. I want a facial. The G-rated kind (you guys disgust me).

One piece of toast only I said over twitter before I arrived haha. It came cut in half and I said I SAID ONE! and the guy with the name I always forget goes, It’s cut in half. HAhahaa uhhhhhhhh.

Get those eggs I directed.

Eggs everywhere. Very cute. Very my mom.

Triple chin.

I love showcase fridges. It makes me feel like being in a mini-diorama of a, diner?

Colleague is hair jealous.

I could also got for some teeth whitening. What colour is that, beige? The colour of garlic? When it is blue/purplish tinted that means it is local so you should buy it.

For you, Little Raymis, the world.

Looks like I am eating an orange. I am not eating an orange that is the yolk exploding. Will this finally make Marco Pierre White contact me?

Poached eggs are the healthiest eggs you can order cos they boil them. No grill oil, grease or fat. Skinny Raymi tip. If you follow all the stupid things I say you will look like the girl you see in this picture someday. I am an expert life coach.

You have to get toast, because you have to sop that up. Also if you have insomnia, I read that toast at night can help, carbs are brain food. I try to defy toast though and I have proven myself and conquered it. When I did a carbless diet, the first two weeks I had a splitting headache in-between being totally stupid, slow on the uptake and possibly crabby. Your hangovers get worse too because you switch to whiskey from beer and have no base for it anyway and whiskey, everyone knows is much harder than beer. It works but it was hell.

Doing this to my ankle is tempting fate much? Like my dress? Get it from American Apparel yourself and lets go out partying. To kickstart that you can get a FREE (NO CATCH!) $10 Gift Certificate for American Apparel via Fabfind. I got mine, and Little Raymis keep telling me (and thanking) of their coupon collection so awesome for that! Kylie helped me decide to rip off her idea entirely and get these hot tights. I want them in pearl.

I delight me. Those things are ridic to wear.

I bought them as a joke for Wakestock.

Get your work done and your egg on!

Is this poster too much for Boom? I asked Al. Apparently not, according to him. Ha.

What kind of car is this? Mazda Miata, ok good like I thought so, I sent this picture to my Uncle cos he has/had one lol. He’ll be like uh, thanks?

Tomorrow is the weekend, big brunch day, and there will be line-ups down the block so get in early or late. Try to use my name to line-skip. They have booze too if you are desperate or like to keeps it Bukowski. I’ll pick up the tax for you don’t forget and their breakfast special is CHEEP omg I am turning into a boomer, boomers make puns like crazy (right dad?). Love Raymeh. Thanks for brunch Tony! Muah!

Boom has 3 locations, here are their addresses

College St.

808 College St. (near Ossington)
Hours: Daily 6 AM to 4 PM
Phone: 416.534.3447

St. Clair Ave
1036 St. Clair Ave West
Hours: Daily 7 AM to 4 PM
Phone: 416.657.3447

Eglinton Ave
174 Eglinton Ave
Hours: Daily 7 AM to 4 PM
Phone: 416.485.3447

You can also LIKE Boom on facebook or Follow on Twitter @Boom_Breakfast tweet me while you’re there and you will get VIPLEASE treatment.

Or call the Boomobile for a lift (just joking). Tony and I are in a Playboy race fyi, I want to be a centrefold and he wants his logo to be as iconic as the bunny ears. We’re workin’ on it baby lol!

Beep beep boom boom.