Right down Santa Claus lane

I am in full on love with my hair right meow and this is a post in progress I am rushing because Burlesque practise and Bunny is (coming over) happening soon, can you blog with a monkey on your back? I am finding it increasingly harder and harder lately. Maybe I need a break? I don’t take breaks. If you break then your rank plummets. I am driven and insane, a perfectionist, and I won’t have time tomorrow to talk about myself as much here. Now lets do this. ps. this picture reminds me of Claire Danes in the Family Stone.

Stop attempting to sabotage shit that is clearly working in whining about dark haired Raymi. Dudes that was a decade ago, we have moved on to tinsel town now and long platinum locks. I look bad with short hair and I am not even going in to territory of short hair chicks vs long cos I got a lot of pals with short hair, different strokes for different folks.

This one is haunting and shitty. I used to take pictures of myself in this parking lot a few years ago (2 or 3?) and was struck by my past while sitting in the car before going to my dad’s.

My tree!

And now backlit.

Nana said I have to do her tree every year now. Ok, but I am not taking it down.

Beads always go on first, or garland.

The star wobbles around up there but is all good now. Luckily I have tin man nail polish, my toolbox is impressive. (I do not have a toolbox).

He bought it all yesterday morning, I think doing my nana and papa’s tree was the final straw in planet Christmastown whereas I have been complaining about cleaning first which will never happen. I do’t even know if we’ll have room on this tree for my decorations. That we will never remember to get from dad’s. Meh.

Stella got fed every time nana got up. She is fat and laying it on thick now that she is pure spoiled (my fault) and is walked way less cos it’s cold out and I am lazy. Overweight dog owners have an advantage over other overweight non-dog owners. If your dog is fat, you probably are too. Red fat flag.

Papa snipped these last roses out of Nana’s garden this week! Amazing. He is adorable (and Jack Kerouac’s cousin) we had a very nice visit and chat, he spoke a lot about how people have compulsions and just have to do what they’re meant to do (like Celine Dion’s career addiction) or how Frank Sinatra sang right up until he died, this convo was laced with all kinds of double meaning I just held on tight and was like, yeah, totally relate (I dream about my blog :(). Raymi Trolls always make jokes about me repeating things about England or Jack Kerouac (which is hilarious cos of the things I am most repetitive about on a day-to-day basis those two topics are least referenced or used in discussion) but it’s because there are always new readers coming here and I want to impress them, not the same old you lot who know what beneath my fingernails looks like, yeah you know it all already, here is your medal. Have you never repeated a story before?

My nana typically makes a comment about my appearance, if I look tired or fat when I’m not even remotely close to fat cos it’s more of a burn on my xs clothing and skin showing, but not this time! Prob cos I was doing a task for her.

Total british supper. Teacher was like, what is Yorkshire pudding actually? and Nana goes, it’s a british thing. Fair enough. I said I don’t eat potatoes and so he thought it was also potatoes. It’s a batter that you bake and it fluffs up into a crazy bready thing, also carbs. Meh I don’t have it every day.

I remember decorating the tree here as a kid. Sigh.

Little little Hailey the hipster has long arms like me.

Papa had all these ancient tree decorating wisdoms and tips heheh. The tree theme is peach and white and gold.

On the phone to MTV yesterday they’re like, don’t wear green. But I just got a new green shirt. Ha. I was joking, I am going to dress like a whore. This is an xs, Teacher bought me one in white too but a small, might be too bulky. Maybe I can wear this and a g-string for my solo to the grinch song. Have to start planning wardrobe. We are doing a trio to White Christmas with Pastel.

Putting up our pre-lit tree. So worth it to have it all sorted out like that, looks very clean like we stole it decorations and all from The Bay.

Aw My Friend.

With a half hour til the mall closing he went and destroyed Old Navy. My boyfriend is my stylist. Ha. Major sale, calls me and is like what do I get? I dunno! Everything in small or extra small!

I have two mangy white sweaters that I love and need dearly to replace, I only ever shop in the burbs now. Do you like all my weird routines? Me too.

If we add any more it may be too tacky but do I ever half-ass anything? I think the black sparkly ones I have will look so dope on this thing and all my dirtbag friends will be like SICK! Baha. Def having an xmas party here, maybe even new years? We’ll see what the majority rule is. Also want to go to Quebec City again! Who is in?? Teacher has school off like all Teachers do so lets give’r in MTL again.

All the pics I took of it last night kinda sucked. Mystery Camera let me down. Some are neat but only the art faggy show off ones like omg close-ups of branches call the AGO we have a trailblazer over here.

Stella is very pumped today and every day, she thinks I am a giant talking whatever food scraps I last fed her, a potato chip with arms and legs, that feta thing, but not anymore, we are restricting now. Yesterday the only extra food she got was a handful of dry cat food after we went out in the rain.

Muppet Christmas Carol is a fav of mine. I played Scrooge in the xmas play at school in grade 6 and killed it, my accent was good. As we were trying out for the play and being given random parts to read I positioned myself such that I would be given Scrooge and knew that I would get the role, my booming british rendition made some kids sneer in a why didn’t I think of that kind of way? Why would you read your part in your pre-pubescent regular dorky ass voice? You’re going to get the role of someone who points, and says nothing.

Someone is getting ballsier in their joining us on the couch.

There is a method to mix n matching nail polishes on your nails, also, pinks and green (watermelon) contrast gorgeously. Do you understand colours? Not being snotty here just wondering cos it is a skill for sure. Lots of people are colour blind or clueless. You know my green romper? Some people think it’s grey and my periwinkle thigh highs as grey ok that’s not too far a stretch but, I guess, what comes naturally to some doesn’t to others. There is a method to my madness with bold colours that mismatch but then somehow match. You tie it together with a purse and shoes, a hat. Omg I just bored myself to death.

They’re all fuzzy and too warm. The blanket is in focus. I was being too spazzy and click happy in quantity, not quality.

This is my baby light. It does the trick!

Stella is feeling the tree but perplexed cos it’s in her doggy bed corner.

Another tree trick is putting the ornaments on the interior branches, we have lots of posh dangly ones so I did that with them. It’s gorgeous I want to hug it.

Well, it does look artistic ‘cept focused on the wrong thing.

Baha. I still love it though. I did these all first, FIRST. MARTYR YES. ME.

I made a joke that how Teacher bought this place was the real estate agent was like, now, do you like Christmas? If so then do I ever have the place for you, it’s like a perfect stage for Christmas.

You cannot fit enough presents in those I need to get a bigger Hello Kittier one.

Do you think they called her Hello Kitty because she was used as a teaching aid for japanese people learning english, now, what is this on this flash card here? “Oh. Hello, Kitty!” Is this racist? Whatever.

Kiefer Sutherland can come over and dive-bomb my tree any time.

I think Hello Kitty would love our tree.