Every idea you ever had was mine

Tequila Taco night at the Drake, Ivy Knight hosts this thing called #86d on Mondays which is industry night, a thing invented to get people out on dead nights to bars and people who work in “the industry” help push this concept and you feel left out if you don’t join in. Foodie world is just as reliant on smoke and mirrors as heavily as twitter is holy christ I accidentally hit two parties of both offending scenes last night and it’s amazing how being right makes you feel like a Deity (something else we were also talking about last night cos I thought they were playing a Cleopatra movie) and throw twitter in to that mix, bullshit expressway supreme. I like the foodie scene a lot better obvi cos it’s old school and posh like me.

You got a free poster with your shots tacos and we were given some viplease treatment because I am a foodie type person and emotionally blackmail people to get my way, you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I taught myself a valuable lesson once, write a letter of complaint instead of flipping out and then blogging it. Say nothing, calmly remove yourself, diplomatically the next day, write the best letter ever. I wasn’t even trying to be a smooth operator this time around though, maybe my halo was just showing?

I am also getting hotter by the day and it is making Teacher cuckoo bananas. I’m not a person I’m a business get over it!

As far as I am concerned this is my last chance. I think that every day. My mom said one of the girls in her crew was such a perfectionist neurotic she ran up and down the hill back and forth on their hike waiting for Lois to come down. I totally would have done that! I have dance videos in my three piece lingerie sets for fuck sakes, how badly do I want it? Bad.

As I was coming down the stairs I announced before I made it in to the living room, now, not to alarm you or anything but, I look SMOKIN’ HOT RIGHT NOW.” he was on the veleveteen couch and his eyes turned in to pinned out psycho rage suppressing red eye and he tossed imaginary chairs and boulders violently around him. Heh.

On our first date I said I was going to get a lot hotter and he said he was fine with that. He repeats that a lot at work to his horny buddies I am like a cartoon show Teacher watches on the weekends, one old guy was like, well I know you had a good weekend, how was it? and Teacher gives him this look and the guy’s face melts off like in Raiders of the Lost Ark. He likes the extra attention and everyone says he’s changed, a lot nicer. I’d be a crabby teacher too if I was POF date hungover all the time in Philosophy, do you know how much I’d trash on men? Girls, now let me tell you something about men. LOL.

Now I don’t care if you think I am being conceited right now cos I’m not, based on what society’s criteria of beauty is and celebrity, if you just play that game and go by those simple f-ing rules I dunno, maybe be a little funny about it too and self aware, oh look, my rippling 6 pack looks gorgeous today (skinny tip, brush bronzer on the contours of your stomach definition to make you look more chiseled not that I ever do this or anything haha only for burlesque performances) and make it like a girl club. I just know that when I am happy of looks I am happy mentally and as a born depressed person I much prefer the happy days and so I will climb an apparatus that is several stories tall or walk on the CN Tower, run like a maniac through the cold winter streets with the dog (Oh that’s right I saw Stacey Mckenzie yesterday on Queen) then dammit I will do it if it brings me that much closer to my goal.

6 extra oysters on the house is an accomplishment to me. Then I had to eat the majority of them because Courtney thinks she’s allergic and Teach isn’t super in to the seafood. Only mine. Ew gross sorry!

And like one of my cats here, he brought me my first Christmas treat. Bunny and I are talking about our xmas show I am so happy to dance with her at the Bovine finally. She has amazing big production ideas and is just as insane and in to Christmas as me we want a Santa Claus for photos and other hi-jinx. Settling on a date soon. Prob second Saturday of December?

Hi Ivy. Knew I should have brought a real camera, Drake lighting is so dark. Not cell phone conducive at all.

Courtney is single again and hotter in her hot mess state, go Courtney! Plus you’ll get to be my friend too for a little bit until you get burrowed in her fox den.

I went running like this w/o any socks on and was running and thinking where can I get a pair of socks for ten dollars cos that’s all I stuffed in my jacket and my fingers turned white (bad circulation). I did it though. I felt really good afterward. Running clears my head and makes me look like a p0rn star. I could tell all the chicks walking were jealous they weren’t running in their favourite hipster slob outfits too and the boys, don’t even get me started y’all.

Hey guess what? Shut up I don’t care.

Ah yes yes dahhling, wonderful party.

This “Raymi” person should try to get by on something other than her looks. Just checked out her blog, and she’s a real horse-face.

Oh that’s right I made a funny cheesy social media holiday guide video in this lame dress.

A blogger is never at rest. Rest is for chumps.

All this exercise and “being good” is boooooring me.

Big tree fall down, goat bite de leaf. Ginger beer wisdoms.

Doot dee doo.

Time for MORE exercise and teeth whitening. PEACE!