Harth Fest

Oh man so many things. It feels like a bongo band is playing in my head right now. Well, I am playing bongo music afterall Gu-u-u-u-ilty as charged (gay sing song voice).

THIS IS THE ONE WHERE ROLLER GIRLS & A WRESTLING RING, ANDY MILOFUCKINAKIS, HARTH AIRLETTES BURLESQUE, INTERACTIVE SHIT, And partying will go down. 99 Sudbury 7pm. October 26 Wednesday.

Let’s play follow the wizard to her wizard chambers. (this blog post isn’t officially done yet but I blast them out half way to be nice and opportunistic and they’re long winded).

I’m wearing a bikini beneath this, not depends, but they may as well be now cos I’ve shrunken and they haven’t. See how fast I carve a trail, stay close or get left behind. I am ruthless. And a giraffe.

Line.

Baha look at sean over there in the corner. I got transfered around the room a lot in elementary school classes cos I talked to every one person place and thing around me then would immediately start up my second groups of Raymites over there too. Ultimate teacher diss is a desk island all alone, like so. Sean and I are getting together today to take over the world so I am going to rip him to pieces for our amusement. I wanted to blog the picnic pics but we have 1000. 0_o!

This is AndroidTO and I had no idea what that meant so I looked for the nearest guy in flip flops…

PHEWF!

I still have no idea what he said, something about androids and terminator 4. I asked Sean if I could get a phone and he said I am like 30th in line. ABOUT AndroidTO: It’s a conference. There. This is the second one. If you want more info you can email me: raymi@raymitheminx.com or one of them. The main project we are working on is the after party for it. These dudes LOVE their parties and HARTH FEST began as a joke then got big fast and furious. My kind of people. It will be the clash of the Titans, RAYMBO WORLD + GEEK ELITES + MTVILONAKIS.

Everyone who works at Harth has an IQ of seven billion at the very least. I am working very hard on getting their leader Alkarim to allow me to make him more public. I am a PR girl now. Anyway, instead I will interview his dad (The CFO). Guess what his dad’s name is?

DIAMOND!

You cannot write this shit! Like When Heaven fell up/down and INTO the spiral staircase (HAHAHAHahhaha) upon her turfing of Big Brother UK, Anton said in the diary room, “You cannot write this shit.” it is better than american BB cos there is nudity and swearing and cameras everywhere even in the pisser and shower. I dream about these people. Yesterday was some serious couch surfing fyi, we caught up with all of our friends, ANTM, Survivor, Jersey Shore. Actually no we didn’t finish ANTM so don’t spoil anything for us please, some girl already did that for Heaven. Speaking of here is the clip. BEST thing you will ever see. She’s the nutbar who talks to the sun king and thinks tall people came from giants and that rockets are powered on melanin GAHAHAHHA!

Skip to a minute. So good. And then she falls AGAIN! Keep in mind that everybody hates her too. I love her cos she’s insane and has the best round-up clips and bungee jumped in to the BB house. I like Thom’s voice the best cos it’s all high and nasally like an old man’s from tim burton’s Nightmare before xmas, “Aaaahhh-oooooh noooooo.” Omg I need a life outside of non-stop blog/working and obsessively watching BB UK marathon episodes.

I picked up that rubics cube that’s not actually a rubics cube, squeezed and exploded it into pieces, putting my phone charger down at the same moment out of humiliation and left it there for the weekend. I got a round of applause. That’s their quirky thing too, they clap for everyone who exits, so endearing. They’re too busy to look up from suicide night coding missions, someone’ll notice and clap then they all clap which means good bye in geek world. None of these assholes around here clap for me when I get up and leave. I get to blog in my underwear though.

There is zany stuff everywhere.

Going up to the 4th floor now.

@fragileheart works here too, at the desk. I don’t know what she actually does though other than flirting with me, asking me why I am so hot, staring at pictures of hot naked chicks she tacks up to her desk (she isn’t gay) and I think she carried a stack of napkins once. We interviewed her on our The Issues (that you will get to see sometime never) and she chose to discuss “MOMS” specifically phillipino moms. Hilarity ensued. These are the Harth cast of characters fyi so pay attention, they’re going to be your party stars. Right behind Andy Milonakis and myself of course. Ha.

Harth Pod is designed by the modern future. Tech elites. They were watching TEDxTO by feed in the lounge, which consist of pod chairs and loungers designed by some Swiss guy I bet. More than that, the guy who FOUNDED TxTO left it and started up Harth with the rest of the boys. Boo-ya slam dunk who’s who swish.

Ps. how cute is this?

Jokes upon jokes upon jokes. These are magnets that are affixed to the water cooler. Which is where they all stand around and talk about Seinfeld like it’s the 90’s (which is my colleague’s Seinfeld-internet-relevancy metaphor I have heard a billion times before).

Pooched. Full of Yogurt.

Trying to see if my spine likes being curved like a potato bug.

Gahahha nice try. Did you throw the word “penis” somewhere in there?

Bahaha. DEATH TO EXPLORER WORST. BROWSER. EVER.

Me getting that guy’s name wrong, Glen? No, but that’s my dad’s name. Oh well you tell him hello too. Baha smooth. I have a crush on every one of these dorks. I am projecting Microserfs on to all of them and now I’m their Jessie Spano.

Spooning rewards? Nope just totally hard workers.

It’s nice to finally be challenged and not the only brainiac I know outside of looking in a mirror. Just kidding! You’re all very very smart too!

Answering the question of why I’m so hot. I said it’s all a trick. An illusion. I’m not!

Then of course I noticed another weird thing, some magnets a genius (a real one and this time I’m not being sarcastic for once) stuck to the drink trolly baha.

In summation, come party with us on OCTOBER 26 – FOR HARTH FEST. some little raymis seem to be confused between the two events that are CLEARLY SEPARATE and DIFFERENT. One is Burlesque (at the Bovine SATURDAY OCTOBER 29), and the other THIS ONE THE HARTH FEST ONE is Andy Milonakis at 99 Sudbury three days prior. Seriously I am going to lose my mind if I have to repeat myself again and again and again. I am surrounded by idiots. Please get it straight. And guess what in-between if everyone pisses me off enough I will be jumping off the CN Tower. KIDDING! That’s the Edge Walk on Oct 28. Lunatic right?

THIS IS THE ONE WHERE ROLLER GIRLS & A WRESTLING RING, ANDY MILOFUCKINAKIS, HARTH AIRLETTES BURLESQUE, INTERACTIVE SHIT, And partying will go down. 99 Sudbury 7pm. October 26 Wednesday.

I will be doing a separate post about this one.

BRB!!!