Down the Raymi rabbit hole

Hi I’m Raymi, do you like rock stars? Me too, lets do this!

I dressed like Veronica Corningstoner yesterday in case I pulled it off maybe I could be a public broadcasting professional and meet Ron Burgundy. I dunno. Dressing the part is more than half the work in life, if you’re gonna be a rockafeller skank you should floss as such.

I told these guys the recipe for getting backstage: GIRLS. Get the two hottest girls from your town to come to a show (if there’s two of you, one girl per guy minimum) and use her as a bartering ticket but even then, it takes years to solidify bonds and connections in the music industry. Case in point are these guys dressed the part to blend in with groupies? They’re just total dudes, bros. They were funny.

My camera guys were pumped about the candy. Good to know I can pay them in candy.

Look a Sheep Dog, right off the bat. Don’t even ask me what I asked or what they said, my mind is wiped. It doesn’t matter we can talk about bananas once you skyrocket to fame people just want to experience your essence, your long locksy essence. I am sad I forgot to do my Stillwater joke about the sequel to Almost Famous and didja hear that The Sheepdogs are up for that band role? I was going to start that rumour and spread it to all the bands. Forgot to.

Some guys I interviewed based on funny hair alone, knowing they weren’t musicians but pretending I thought they were so that their musician friends could make fun of them ALL ON MY RAYMITHEMINX TV SHOW. GOLD.

I was too shy to penetrate right off the bat. You open the door to backstage and WHOOSH every band. member. in. sight. Normally back there on my own not with camera we all play it cool smoke together, too cool each other out, I take a bit of shots, kind of keep a distance, but mostly cover the live action cos I am too severely shy and stupid in the mouth at these moments.

It’s basically an ambush show. Like my blog. It’s real but then the musicians who are actual professionals here know when I am cueing them for “make believe time is over now” and ask them a question about global warming then we do SERIOUS VOICE then they get tired of me and then I move on to the next one.

A second camera guy I had wandering around the sound academy, in the pit. We were like a virus. Raymitis. It’s worse than Aids. Ha ha.

We had to move back a bit, I love when security intervenes, it makes the famous moment you invented get blown way out of proportion (they were believing my hype) and fan hysteria increases. I also blame her tits which I only noticed were phenom from this photo and thank you for it.

We look like Scooby Doo.

And we are called the Underdogs you should probably tell us everything and not sign anything. We are for hire. Just wait and see how good it is first then I’ll know how high to reach. raymi@raymitheminx.com fyi.

Peter I am going to pants you next time. It’s what the underdogs would do. The ginger is Andrew and he saved my ass with The Reason. Hoo boy. Andrew is my Seth Rogan. This looks like a hilarious reality show, a show on a show hey where is John Malkovich?

Awww that loving couple. Don’t even ask me who that performer is. I zoomed in still can’t tell. Aghh Geoff just told me the footage is awesome, I was bashing myself to myself all night/day long on pins.

Another great way to get backstage is breaking your foot. Awful desperate but it works. I in no way shape or form suggest that you do that nor that she did it purposely either it was a funny joke, is all.

Canada is amazing because our radio personalities can never not be canadian which means it’s a big beer-ha-ha and everybody loves them, we take it seriously but not really. That girl is holding a signed by everyone beer bottle magnum, magnums are meant for champagne. OH CANADA, OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND!

See anyone you recognize? Omg look at that girl’s face right in front of me.

I am a major USS fan. I know obscure specifics about their lyrics. It was apparent that absolutely none of this interview would be anywhere close to serious.

He held my mic while i rifled through my notes which I didn’t have any of because I felt confident with my wakestock stories (failed) and hamilton show story (and there too).

And then we listened to a beautifully moving acceptance speech while the sheepdogs were playing. I want to be friends with USS but we’re all ernies I think and that could be disastrous. Ernies and Berts go together. Ernies and Ernies set things on fire together, nahmean?

SHEEP DOGS!

I wonder what their tour bus is like with all that corduroy and plaid and hair mixed up on it.

Romesh (Hey Rosetta!) was the second musician I ambushed and they were about to go onstage (this is hours later when we were relaxed) so that interview was straight ridiculous, he’s like, Raymi? And I’m all, Romesh, why are Newfies all crazy? Except I didn’t want to say newfies, i tripped on it and said NEWFOUNDLAND, people from? I dunno. I am sure it is horrible and my career is over now before its begun like Bridget Jones down the fire pole ughhh. Luckily I’ve been piss wasted with Romesh before so I knew I could wing it into something fun.

All I did was recycle anecdotes I’ve learned from Rajiv (his brother), even something about his dad. What other The Enemy (rock writers) can offer up useless personal bits like that I’m flippin’ Oprah here, I mean, I got Kinley their fiddler to talk about being a bonafide mute, “s’that why you play the fiddle?”

Hey Romesh what the crap is that in your hand behind my notes?

Groupies, music industry folk, the regulars.

Paddy was shooting for I forget already I asked her 4 times. It was funny to be like, oh yeah, I do this tv thing and blog thing and burlesque, there’s one of my dancers over there. No I don’t get that nervous for burlesque cos I don’t have to talk for that and every time I open my mouth I get in to trouble anyway.

The Sam Roberts boys fell right in to my groupie dancing vortex trap which makes sense now as to how I lured that exclusive, way to go me.

That one chick is trying to figure out what the hell is going on. This is what building a legend looks like.

Sam is a darling. Humble, modest, said sincerely that he hopes my tv show goes well. Then I obsessed about what that meant ahaha. I asked them all what it was like to be a rock star and that lead to all these abstract and profound wisdoms, that would be a funny show idea to ask that question and just edit an hour of all these long tangents from rock royalty. Just one episode though it would get boring if it was strictly music. I need a hot pink Hello Kitty mic foam and swarovski crystal mic. And a sponsor. HINT.

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sorry got busy guys. we’ll be back tomorrow. Go to Cheese Boutique tomorrow for Totally Turkish 12-4 and have lunch. I have loads of pics of going there prior to casbys yesterday. So fun.