Ok so sometimes I care about stuff other than myself so listen up

tristan is in orange, ace is in yellow, owen is in green. the mutt, nina, is not ours (thank god)… no offence, nina.
x

thats the makings of a tv show right there.

So, this cool chick facebooked me the other day about a hamilton party thing, coincidentally I was going through my FB messages today to catch up on all the ones I miss as it’s like Beatlemania fan mail somedays ’round here.

(raymi@raymitheminx.com lol).

Anyhooters, I get this email from her today that kind of sparks our FB chat that you will read following her email (Which is mass-forwarded and therefore horribly formatted):

> I’m participating in 2011 CN Edge Walk. I will be Facing MY Fear and taking a step out on the edge as I walk around the OUTSIDE of the CN Tower for AboutFace!
>
> ‘Face Your Fear’ is being hosted by AboutFace to raise money and awareness for Camp Trailblazers: a retreat for kids ages 10 to 18 who have facial differences.
>
> Many of these kids will meet other kids like themselves for the first time. At Camp Trailblazers, they will learn life skills, challenge themselves to overcome physical barriers, and create life long friendships. To learn more about Camp Trailblazers and the event visit www.aboutface.ca
>
> You can help support me by making a secure online donation using your credit card. Click on the link below:
>
www.aboutface.ca
>
> Thanks for your support!

THIS MADE ME FEEL JEALOUS AND INSPIRED. TWO FAVOURITE THINGS. No, well, I want to do this CN Tower walk too but I am already in the middle of so many other things blabbity blah, also kind of probably totally terrified, but mostly don’t have the time to campaign for donations in order to do it, what’s more, I don’t have triplets with cleft palets so I would be an asshole to campaign over Jenn now that she showed up on my radar. Hoping to marry our two adrenaline junky wants together to form a super-power awareness so we can walk the edge and you can give her all the money and I just get to dangle 1,815.4 ft and faint at 1,815.4 ft just so I can say that I did. It will be just like what I did on Saturday at Brickworks except 1,685 feet SCARIER. One day I will call for donations to climb up the CN Tower stairs though. We have 4 sets of stairs in this townhouse, sometimes climbing them just once in a day is enough to make me wheeze a little. BAD SIGN!

Jenn

http://www.supercrawl.ca/

Raymi Lauren White:

i just tweet noticed a girl talking about it. i am already crush f-cked all over again from last night. do you live there? my godmother has a resto, a nice italian one, tracadaros? anyway ill be in the hammer soon.

Jenn:

yep… i live there. trocadero! that place is a hamilton fixture. i’ve never eaten there, but i think i should- i’ve heard great things about it. thinking of you on this 9/11. i can hardly bear to watch the footage on tv. can’t imagine what it was like to witness it firsthand. that kind of thing changes a person forever.

Raymi Lauren White

aw i missed this sorry for delay. i havent eaten at trocadero (my godmother’s restaurant in hamilton) yet either cant wait. theres a delay in opening it cos one of the cooks injured her hand aw. just got yer cn tower email thing i totally wanted to do that. how do i get in as an ambassador w/o having to do the charity crap part to raise awareness for all involved?

Jenn

i am terrified of doing it. they give a breathalyzer before to make sure you’re not tanked, otherwise i’d have a few for sure.

Raymi Lauren White

omg i would smoke a billion doobs. triplets! cleft lips! you saint and inspiration. ill make a donation pitch on my blog for you then. when does it happen?

Jenn

awww, you are sweet. it’s october 28. i think any other info would be on the email i sent with pledge link etc. it’s strange with my kids, too, since they are indentical, but they have their clefts in different places. tristan had a complete one on the left side with a cleft palate, owen had an incomplete one on the right, and ace had an incomplete one in the middle. strangely enough, the locations are indentical with their position in utero. we are so lucky that their clefts are only a cosmetic problem and they had no associated syndrome. they are smart as whips and creative as can be. their surgeon was amazing, and some people don’t even notice, but it breaks your heart as a mother when your kids stare at themselves in the mirror and ask why their lips aren’t shaped like other kids in their class. anyway… typical mother ramble. did you want me to send you a photo of the turkeys? many mercis.

Raymi Lauren White

what are the associated syndromes? joaquin phoenix has/had one. you should write to him, and then get him to have sex with me. deal! and yeah barely noticeable. will be considered hot when they’re older, just dont let them turn into dorks. should i make a dont let them turn into dorks work shop?

Jenn

yeah, there are tons of crazy genetic syndromes that have clefts as a ‘feature’. we are so thankful that for our dudes it’s just a fluke… strictly cosmetic. it’s crazy how common it is, too, and how many misconceptions there are associated with it. when they were babies, some salty broad at the grocery store asked if their brains were ok. i nearly decked her. anyway. i’m sure joaquin phoenix would love to have sex with you.

Raymi Lauren White

better idea. your disposition in general despite having 400 joaquin phoenix clones is f-ing adorable. this is how we will get donations for you by exploiting this talk, having senses of humour is the last phone call to a friend i have from killing myself some days. you’re alright buddy.

DEAR PLANET TORONTO,

GIVE THIS WOMAN WHO HAS THREE BOYS (WORTHY ENOUGH OF DONATIONS) SOME MONEY (for aboutface, her charity) SO SHE CAN DO SOMETHING INSANE AND THEREFORE MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT. I AM GOING TO HARASS JESSICA TO LET ME IN ON THIS TOO COS I SURE AS HELL ok I’ll stop yelling, I sure as hell am not having triplets in time to get you to care about me, like I need money to hang on to a building, I’ll do it for free hahaha. Help me spread the word too, you know I love you, tell me what you want, I’ll give you some of my toys or send you to a concert, or design a date, get you laid, maybe even continue blogging so you have something to read at work tomorrow.

XO Your pal Raymbo.

(pretty sure if I go through with this my dad will faint. I made a hot air balloon ride joke once and he could not handle it). (hi dad miss you!)

I know I could never jump out of a plane, the feeling of falling would seriously make me be blacked out all the way down and my jump partner would be like cradling a baby. Boring and embarrassing. With the edge walk you’d be forced to be lucid the whole way through. This just got real.

Ps. Jenn did not ask me to do this post either. I like to call this MODERN WARFARE ON CHARITY. I think we all need to man up and start givin’ a care and if it takes (and it does) crazy stunts to get money out of people for honest to goodness causes then by all means, throw me in a lion pit, I’ll do it. Jenn’s spirit regarding her boys is what moved me most of all. I feel like the majority of people (or the perception of them) with some kind of physical handicap or disability or a child with one, they seem lobotomized or neurotic, uptight, un-fun, and Jenn seems funner than a lot of people I love more than myself, right? People with no reason for chips on their shoulders and such. Role model material that girl is.

Thank you so much for the donates in advance!

you crack me up. your post is grand… only one small correction that doesn’t matter much anyway, but all 3 had cleft lips, only 1 had the cleft palate, as well. no matter, really. what i like is that you’re helping bring awareness to such a great organization. aboutface was a wealth of resources for my husband and i when we first started on this adventure. there are so many kids who suffer from self-esteem issues etc based on their facial differences, and it warms my heart to think that there is a camp where they can go to feel just like their peers. aboutface also educates on syndromes such as apert, crouzon, and non-syndromic conditions such as hemangiomas. education breeds acceptance, i always say. can i cheer about them more?

and honestly your kids are cute as hell so good luck with people sympathizing

omg i picture me and joaquin floating on clouds in gladiator outfits (from his movie) and your boys as our golden floating cherubs. gahahaha.