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blondes have more sun

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we beat it out of the city saturday afternoon. headed north. northern escape.

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i looked across the living room at teacher and was like, why are we still here? oh right, my internet addiction, ha.

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we arrived. gorge little backyard. i found a jar of del monte grapefruit slices at foodland. perfect for greyhounds. must get more, i love new products especially ones that coincide with my vices.

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i had no eyebrows this weekend.

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stella had the best time. i doubt the cats did.

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doused myself in bug spray, took a few years off my life, thanks deet. here for a good time not a long time right sirs? watching weird critters land and die on you gets exciting, albeit gross.

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sun baby and it seems like i barely got any sun or a layer from my retinas has been scorched off and i can’t see how dark i truly am.

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just absolutely soaked in sweat. you quickly get to a point of not caring if you’re smart enough to bring a bathing suit with you everywhere you go. everyone else was suffering stupidly.

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stella and i were laughing.

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don’t you want to put your face in it.

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what’s the best pool to pool hop by in the city the one with that big butterfly mural, where is it? no i will not figure this out on my own i have to catch up on big brother after this.

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until the ipod dock was unearthed the music situation was touch and go, archaic. random static bursts and pops, then a shitty song from the one station we could pick up, more static. i kind of liked the tinny old timey sound of the radio, people sound so much more polite ahhaa.

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meowmeowmeoewemeowemewow

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now, where were we, oh yes, this cat. absolutely divine.

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the heat is killing me right now i am fighting the temptation for beer so strongly. i have very bad cramps too. the combo is making me weak. glad these came through post work out. which i killed today cos i was so pissed off. pissed off work outs are great.

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why can’t my eyes be that blue?

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the fire was cool. cool as in blazing hot. out of nowhere the entire back portion of the property lights up and during dry season too. exciting!

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just let it burn out too.

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pretty purple flowers. omg i am eating hot hashbrowns teacher made me and now i am tripping balls, so much habanero and trinidad cuckoosauce. see what putting out gets you? i must remember this haha. he goes yeah, you should.

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now we are sharing a kronenbourg and i am becoming human again. how’s your lunch today?

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the altar it grew.

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after like 3 seconds sleep we were up again for some good old fashioned passive aggressive breakfast. don’t enforce eating on partiers, not everyone eats breakfast so stop using breakfast and cleaning up as a weapon. i helped a lot the day prior so my work was done, you’re the ones with hangovers and those are all YOUR empties anyway, i tidied after myself so i am givin’er right up to leaving. i always get targeted at people’s cottages by women. it’s tiresome, predictable and exhaustive. like i’m sorry i’m sitting around in a bikini but i’m the one who slept on the fucking floor listening to EVERYTHING going on in the house all night long.

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my flip flops matched the patio furniture at least.

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wasaga was wicked. if we didn’t have the dog we’d have sat on a patio. we did a cruise by car, then a nice walk with a jack and diet coke roady. teacher bought me a cute watch and shades (to apologize for his horrible friends).

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i want to go back really bad. or to any beach really, until the summer is over. i am done with the real world and clothes. and pants.

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my dad asked me how i get all my music hook-ups or why. i said it’s cos i keep the rock dream alive, i live the rock dream. much like the owner of this gold camaro. or the monster truck beside it. your nerdy music 101 and start-up indie blog is great and all, but does it look like this 24/7? they know raymi loves TO rock and have a good time. addicted to good times not itemizing set lists and mic volume snafus. recognize.

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mystery camera gems. dance practise.

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look at that smokin’ bod. jeezus.

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i think i’ll do a sinead o’connor solo next.

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this is for dinner again.

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addicted to sweating disgustingly out of everywhere. maybe i happened on to the best weight loss diet regime. bikinis, hot climate, hot food. the occasional big mac.

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post burlesque performance monday night. trying to fix my ratty hair.

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then teacher remembered he bought me a present.

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greedy looks like this. get over my tits. nudity in general. i am not planning to make excuses for the next decade about that and have decided to take more of a pragmatic approach to the conservative oppression still afoot in mine fair city.

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what a guy right. thanks babe.

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and then like that my hair is flawless and rhonda is here!

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cool photo order. there is only so much flickr can do when i blob my photos all over the desktop and hit upload.

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i looked in the mirror when we were in the car and noticed that i am freckle face city now. wtf! teacher said it’s cute. i’m not lindsay lohan so no, it isn’t.

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those shorts are huge on me now. all of mine are. in between sizes again and everything looks warped.

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day two i changed suits. my red/white one has been worn too much but also, i wanted protection and monster bikini lets people know to think twice before fucking with me. at wasaga on the strip it was quite the hit.

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camouflage monster.

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jenny beth said the bigger the bottoms the less hot you look. not much i can do here. she said the smaller, the smaller. hmm i guess i have to buy another bikini then haha. a guy not only singled us out to have his parking spot when he left, he gave me the parking day pass good for 24 hours. i bet that midlifer fantasized all the way down airport road on his way home picturing a blonde loaded with dimples and teeth frolicking in the surf without a care in the world, living the beach blanket bimbo dream. fuck i’d give away 40 parking spots for wank bank material like that any day.

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weren’t ready to hit the city yet so dropped in on my dad with a six pack (angels) and we went for a convertible cruise to the beaver and bulldog to sit by the water and have wings. we watched a hard day’s night and my hair punched its time clock. we slept over and teacher drove me to TMR this morning.

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on way to barrie.

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ok i’ll brb this post sucked. no more bring downs!

13 thoughts on “blondes have more sun

  1. ugh, I don’t understand why women can be so freaking rotten but I do know it’s why I’m wary of befriending many and why I really LOVE it when I find cool women to hang with. You can only get burned so many times. Nothing beats a cool chick and nothing sucks more than a shitty one.

  2. I hate when shit goes down camping or cottaging and ruins the good times. I don’t get why people are so rude, to you, to anyone. Everything people say is a reflection on themselves anyway.

    I love the photo of your messy hands in the chicken (?) with your sparkling girly bracelet!

  3. couldn’t tell if you had fun up north or not
    I love animals for the same autistic reasons, maybe we are autistic,Aspergers perhaps
    Whatever you wanted to say to the meddlesome chick, I’m sure shes read it, so , mark it off your TO DO list.

  4. totally had a great time despite/in spite of.

    thanks krista. my next book is called the single girl’s guide to being a wife. step seven: jewels.

  5. Thank God I’m the coolest of girl’s girls otherwise you wouldn’t know about small bikini bottoms, toe cleavage or my new awesome term “bagjam” (which said meddleho is).

  6. please get me a whorey pair of short shorts with BURGUNDY on the ass and we’re even ;) and i totally thought “said meddhleho” was chinese

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