you don’t fight in paradise.

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this is why i have a $299.56 phone bill. i bet gary just fainted.

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i missed this performance. bro was grooving to the live band, he looked like archie on steroids. my mom said he was very nice and funny.

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this is what my hater looks like in psychotic jesus preacher form. he was calling these poor women whores and hurling out babylonisms, they were humiliated then eventually turned over cos he wouldn’t go away. wish i was there at the time. mom captured it. she lives for these scenes.

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he spoke through his puppet. how is this a constructive use of one’s time? hi i have mental problems come watch. gross. it’s fine until you get into someone’s grill.

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skinny pose i taught her. gives more of a waistline.

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lois has a natural little one anyway so it’s not necessary but lends an added elegance to one’s capture. i am an expert photo stylist for hire raymi@raymitheminx.com sometimes i have swarms of women surrounding me at parties, events, all learning my up and over the mountain trade secret double chin concealer while men look on boggle-eyed. we don’t care we want that movie star group shot and if one girl looks fugly then we don’t use the shot and if YOU are the one who fucks it up everyone hates you, warrantedly so. my mom deleted so many good ones of me off her camera, guess why.

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i was in the room being crabby about bailing on mansion. aoki forgive me!

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do not disturb while it slumbers.

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resort at night.

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italian dinner night. we were starving and snippy, trying to decide on best place and they all compete throwing out smooth criminal claims about free wine and certain free appetizers so then we tried to work them over too, using my business card and informing them slyly that lois owns her own high end italian restaurant bla etc.

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we ordered off menu and annoyed the hell out of them. the waiter said the chefs in the back would refuse to plate arugula with my simple spicy tomato pasta and prawns. he could tell we were the oh, you think you’re telling me how it’s done fare. lois understood though and said yeah i know those old guys, stubborn oldworld italian men. one time a guy fell all over himself flipping out over ice cubes in white wine meanwhile it was blazing hot summer and shitty wine at that. we get it you are the most italian person for miles. in the end they just did it anyway, turns out it was the server who thought he was battling for all of rome. he kinda was.

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see? not a second’s relief.

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burpees.

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borrowed gary’s umbrellas. only were used for her hallway shoots.

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omg fuck off dude.

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you don’t fight in paradise. i said that last night to lois and a dude at emma’s backporch. cos he inquired about strangling my mother at fort lauderdale airport. oh, it wasn’t a strangle exactly, more of a good squeeze. i felt the veins and arteries of her neck and said NOW THAT’S ENOUGH. lois just ignored us like it was normal. i dug up the last mini bottle of champagne from my laptop carry-on bag, downed a glug, passed her the bottle and she chugged it too. then lois. ARIBA! ahhahaa. i lasted nine days nonviolently. this guy said he lasted 3 days with his sister in europe. anyway, we never really bickered except for moments when i would have to talk extremely louder and faster to be heard.

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my mom tried to get me to dance with him. we constantly fucked with people or joined in on their merriment. on vacation you can be a new person.

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ugh.

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i am faking it here. three women trying to get out of a hotel room takes three times longer. i didn’t have my camera but i still wanted to capture my outfit. after telling my mom NO and hurry! when shewould try to take pics of the same useless shit, only so we could get out cos the agoraphobia was getting to me so finally out on the street i am ready for photos and she’s like NO because i just blasted her about taking pictures when she wanted to. this is a picture of WHO WON THAT WAR IN THE END! that’s right. capital this guy.

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tourist junk for miles.

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nice shirt trace.

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they both got a keylime cheesecake popsicle. i didn’t have any. so rich. well i had some of the chocolate.

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cashed out lois. i surfed.

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our own parliament.

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me cashed out.

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angry we didn’t buy more rings here. cannot stop thinking about this jewelry store.

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my prawns. i love saying prawns. so pompous.

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by the time i arrived he was having a siesta in that vacant lounger.

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i miss this place.

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summer did right.

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beatles chair! i inquired, it was $1690.

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so high up sitting in the heavens.

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leave me alone! i was buck.

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AHAHAHHAhahahaha

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jesus.

ok BRB i’ll start a fresh one this is confusing me and are leftovers from a prior upload. i have a new batch with brand new outfits and hairstyles. i don’t care if you don’t or do want to see. this is my blog and since i’ve been home it feels like the entire universe is conspiring to fuck with my good mood and ‘tude i REFUSE to let your evil and bitterness in. going over my memories and giving myself the time to go through these pictures finally is my personal treat. there’s a vacation going on in my head still.